Collide

HELP ME HELP YOU

2012-02-21T07:39:00.007-05:00

My interaction with God the last few weeks has felt eerily similar to this scene out of "Jerry Maguire."

Have you ever felt like you are walking through an "up at dawn, pride-swallowing siege" in hopes of advancing the Kingdom? I'm there.

I. Am. So. There.

I have done all I know to do. Been on my face in prayer. Been still before Him. Purified my heart and even my body to be consecrated for His purposes. Hustled. Run up against brick walls. Been rejected.

And all I am trying to do is to put on an event to inspire people to open their Bibles.

I find myself begging God to help me serve Him. To let His favor rest on me as I run this race He has marked out for me.

But it seems quiet. A kind of "quiet" that is maddening to a girl who is working her butt off.

I wouldn't be surprised if God was up there saying, "You are hanging on by a very thin thread. And I DIG that about you!" I want to hang it up. Been tempted to do so several times this last week alone. But something tells me He will be glorified in my hanging on.

LORD God, let this be the quiet before the glory-filled storm! Break forth and come through in Your might and power. Make a way where there really seems to be no way! I am just trying to serve You faithfully. Please, please strengthen me to do so!

SO MUCH FOR THAT

2012-02-13T21:29:00.014-05:00

I took a pregnancy test 7 years ago today.

It was negative.

I tossed it in the trash can, fought back tears and thought, "So much for that." My dream of being a mom wasn't going to be realized. Not this month, anyway.

Or so I thought.

The next morning was Valentine's Day. I jumped in the car to head out to work, but remembered I'd left something upstairs in my room. I ran back into the house and was headed for my bedroom, but I suddenly stopped in my tracks. And, for no particular reason at all, I turned back toward the hall bathroom where my hopes had been dashed the night before. I walked into the bathroom, picked up the trash can, looked inside, and saw it.

A positive pregnancy test.

To this day I don't really know how to explain it. I just know there was one line the night before (I waited plenty long enough before checking the test, trust me), and the next day there were two lines.

And eight months later, I was the mother of a beautiful baby boy.

How often do we discount what God is doing, assuming things just aren't going to happen--even if we have pretty legitimate reasons for thinking so? We think things are dead in the water, throw our hands up in the air and say, "So much for that." In our minds and hearts we put up headstones over the hopes and dreams we assume aren't going to be realized.

BUT GOD.

God moves even in our lack of perception of Him moving. When it appears something's dead in the water, He is often breathing life into the situation.

Even Lazarus' family, who had a pretty legitimate reason to believe all hope was lost for their brother (seeing as how he was dead and all), should instead have been preparing to celebrate his restoration to life. The story was far from over, and the glory of God had yet to be seen in that situation.

Be encouraged. Some of the very things you and I are tempted to write off as dead in the water are far from it.

I know. Because the proof of it is running around the house playing with trains right now.

Thank You, Gracious Heavenly Father.

EMPTY CUPBOARDS

2012-02-11T07:27:00.010-05:00

A foolish man devours all he has.

I keep thinking about margin lately. "Wiggle room," so to speak.

Why do we see $100 left in the checking account two days before payday and think, "That's enough for those boots that are on sale!"? Why does that extra seem to burn a hole in our pockets?

If the speed limit is 25 in a school zone, why am I always driving through going 24.9 mph?

Why do some operate right up against the proverbial "line" in interactions outside of marriage--rationalizing wrongs by saying no lines have actually been crossed?

Why are we SO uncomfortable with margin--the very wiggle room that is meant to protect us?

On Black Friday this year we were snowed in....but the internet sales beckoned. I saw a lot of great sale items on Target's website--and we had a little left over at the end of that month. I was really, really tempted to get some great deals. But this verse kept running through my mind:

"In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil,
but the foolish man devours all he has."
Proverbs 21:20

Finally, I shut the computer and walked away, leaving that "wiggle room" sitting in our checking account.

I want to walk in wisdom. I want to delight in having margin rather than frittering it away, because God says the wise see the prudence in having margin.

Even now as I am in the process of planning my Dream Year event, I have a certain budget in mind--and so far not one location will work *IF* I keep in mind the wisdom of Proverbs 21:20. Sure, I could probably eek by. I could spend the majority of my budget on a great location, but it just doesn't feel wise to do it that way. This week alone I have had to walk away from more than 10 really great locations just so I don't end up "location poor" for this event. It's been tough. It'll be tough again.

But in the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil.
And only a fool devours all he has.

Father God, forgive us for so often trying to operate right up against the line. Strengthen us to do what it takes to live with margin. And when we're tempted to devour all we have, remind us that Your ways are right, pleasing, and trustworthy.
In Jesus' name, Amen.

I AM A MOTHER OF FIVE

2012-02-06T21:22:00.005-05:00

I have five children.
1. My firstborn, "T." My understanding of love blew wide open when I first held him. I've lost count of the times I have stooped over my sleeping son and begged the LORD for my son's life to SHOUT of the greatness of our God.

2.My daughter, "Liley," who is essentially a bunch of joy crammed into one tiny person. I am desperate to see her walk in the safe and good ways of God all the days of her life.

3.My second son, whose name I know in my heart but I don't share. Stitched into my heart though never in my arms. It's okay. I will know him in Heaven.

4. __________________. I haven't met her yet, but I pray for her. Right now she's only someone else's daughter, but I am covering her with prayer as though she is my own. And when my son marries her, I will gain her as my daughter. I don't know where she is right now. But I am already crying out for the hand of God to preserve her and protect her for the life she'll share with our son.

5. _________________. I haven't met him yet, but I pray for him. Right now he's only someone else's son, but I am covering him in prayer as though he is my own. And when my daughter marries him, I will gain him as my son. I don't know where he is right now, nor his name that my daughter will one day take. But I am already crying out for the hand of God to preserve him and protect him for the life he'll share with our Liley.

Father, please keep us praying for the ones our children will marry! Bring this to mind often so we will persistently pray over our future sons and daughters!

MISSING LETTERS

2012-02-01T07:09:00.005-05:00

A B C __ E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Guess what's missing from my keyboar*?

Turns out, not having that one letter really hin*ers my ability to easily communicate.

*o you ever feel like there are people in your life who are just annoying or *ifficult enough to make you wish you *i*n't even have to *eal with them at all?

The bo*y is not ma*e up of one part, but of many. If the whole bo*y were an eye, where woul* the sense of hearing be? If the whole bo*y were an ear, where woul* the sense of smell be? But in fact Go* has place* the parts in the bo*y -- every one of them -- just as He wante* them to be. The eye cannot say to the han*, "I *on't nee* you!" nor can the hea* say to the feet, "I *on't nee* you!" (1 Corinthians 12)

Sometimes you can't see how much you nee* a part of you until it's no longer at your *isposal. I once broke the thumb on my *ominant han*, and it was nearly impossible to accomplish anything that use* to come so easily. I also broke my baby toe a while back--It was amazing how that one teeny, tiny part of me ha* the capability to re*uce me to a pathetic heap on the floor when I caught it on a *oorway! An* the simple task of walking with a broken toe? Forget it. Even though the other 99% of my bo*y was fine, when that one tiny part was broken, the whole thing suffere*.

We nee* every part. Every part! Even those people who annoy the ever-lovin' heck out of you. Even the ones who aren't easy to love. Even the ones who stir the pot, say the wrong thing, and try to make everything about themselves.

True--maybe she nee*s to get over herself. And maybe it's an un*erstatement to say he's a work in progress. But so am I! I myself am in *esperate nee* of grace and un*erstan*ing. I certainly have no business *iscounting someone else's contribution to the King*om simply because they're *ifficult. Every part is important. The Bo*y just woul*n't be as effective without them.

Father, I nee* grace to see people as You see them. When I feel like a situation woul* be better without someone, allow me to see their great value in the King*om. Forgive me for sometimes writing people off or missing their great worth.

DREAM YEAR WEEKEND: These Are the Game Changers

2012-01-30T03:50:00.017-05:00

We just rolled in a few hours ago from the Dream Year Weekend in Charlotte. I'm still marveling at how quickly friendships formed. Never before have I been put in an environment in which I knew nobody going in and felt like I left only 3 days later with a room full of lifelong friends! What an amazing group of creative, kind, genuine, and generous people.

Justin, the kids and I were at Dunkin' Donuts when a group of our DY friends came in. Fun surprise!Meet Carrie, an awesome mom of 3 who longs to see people's finances be an asset to their marriage rather than a liability. Tracy, a girl with a heart of gold who wants to have a wellness center/Christian yoga business--a girl who will YET see God's good and redemptive hand in her life. Lindsey, a make-up artist and creative who very obviously has a tremendous heart to encourage others.
Matt and Vanessa, parents to three girls and one more on the way, are a sweet couple who are looking to plant a church in the Boston area. Loved talking to them!
Carrie, then warm and genuine Diana who has a heart for young people and wants to provide a creative environment for them. John-Erik, who is one half of the Dynamic Duo (seen below)...

Thomas, a lawyer by day and creator of an interactive children's book by "dream." Lance, who shares my heart for the Word of God and is passionate about getting Bibles to Ugandans. Great guys.
Melissa, a talented photographer with a beautiful heart. KC, a natural encourager who has a passion to encourage worship leaders. Justin, a filmmaker and musician with a bright future ahead.
Dave and John-Erik, the Dynamic Duo of WonderGrove (love that name). These two guys are incredibly brilliant, but what impressed me far more than their truly impressive creativity was their kindness and sincerity. What genuinely great guys these two are. Ben Arment, coach of Dream Year. Wise, wise, wise! Wisdom and grace cover him in a very evident way. So grateful to get to work with him this year. Jason, a warm and genuine "architect of surprise-and-delight moments," and a fellow Atlantan.
And this wasn't even everyone! What a tremendous group. It was so awesome to hear the stories of these people who are desperate for their lives to be drenched with purpose, and for their God-given gifts to be used rather than shelved in the named of perceived security.

And yet as wonderful as the Dream Year part of the weekend was, I had Justin and the kids waiting for me at the end of each day. THEY are my passion and my dearest dream by a LONG shot, and I am beyond-expression grateful for the life we share.

I'm one lucky girl. :)

TO HAVE AND WITHHOLD

2012-01-23T13:55:00.009-05:00

We were out in the middle of nowhere, but he was parched. So very thirsty. I kept driving until there was finally a place to stop, and I ran in and bought my little guy a liter of water. He gratefully glugged down half the bottle, and his thirst was satisfied. He even had a little smile on his face as we continued on down the road.

And then his sister grew thirsty, too.

She asked him for a drink of his water, for she too had grown thirsty. He furrowed his brow and wouldn't share.

Not even a sip.

He'd so quickly forgotten what it felt like to drink after feeling parched.

Jesus spoke of a man who owed a debt he couldn't even dream of paying--it would be into the millions in our day. The master was going to make the man sell everything to pay back the debt, but the man begged, "Be patient with me, and I will pay it back." The man's gracious master did one far better: He forgave the debt completely. The servant went away a man who was no longer indebted...

...and one who forgot how it felt for his debt to be paid.

The forgiven servant soon came upon a man who owed him hardly anything--only a few dollars, in our day--and he began to choke the man, demanding that the man pay him back the money immediately.

"Be patient with me, and I will pay it back," the man pleaded--but he was shown no mercy. Instead, the servant had the man imprisoned until he could pay every penny back.

When the master heard of this, he wasn't even kind of okay with it.

"You wicked servant!" He chastised. "I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?" The master then turned the unmerciful servant over to be tortured until he could pay back his debt (Matthew 18:23-35).

The servant had been shown mercy when he thirsted for it, but refused to show mercy to another who too was thirsty.

How can we receive the great measure of mercy we've been shown from a God who canceled every last bit of our insurmountable sin debt, and then refuse to extend mercy to those who wrong us? There's just no place for mercilessness in light of the mercy that has been heaped upon us.

Who needs us to offer a sip of mercy? Do we really have any right to deny them when we've been drenched with forgiveness ourselves? No matter what wrongs we've suffered, are any greater than the whole of our sins that have been fully forgiven of us?

Somebody is parched and in need of the refreshment of mercy today.

Will you share?

grumble, grumble / GOD IS GOOD!

2012-01-14T07:18:00.014-05:00

I feel like I'm getting whiplash reading through Exodus!

From one passage to the next I feel like I'm riding a roller coaster of grumbling and grace.

In Exodus 14, God pushed back the waters of the Red Sea for the Israelites and wiped out their enemies. Seems they really could've coasted on that high for awhile, don't you think?

Nope. They went straight from the place of their celebration into one of desolation, and no sooner had their feet hit the desert, their whining began. Not entirely illegitimate whining, mind you--they were without water for three days. I might be doing some whining, too!

But if you'd just seen Almighty God push back the waters of the sea with His own hands, wouldn't you think He could take care of your thirst?

Apparently not. Grumble, grumble, grumble. Whine, whine, whine.

In the course of just 4 chapters the Israelites went from:

-Deliverance from their slavery in Egypt - God is good!
-to a parched place in Shur - *grumble, grumble*
-to camping literally right beside the water in Elim - God is good!
-to a place of famine in the desert of Sin - *grumble, grumble*
-to the provision of manna and meat as an answer to their pangs of hunger - God is good!
-to a lack of water at Rephidim - *grumble, grumble*
-to water pouring out of a rock at Horeb - God is good!

Up and down, up and down. They had hardly finished praising Him for the last provision when they began complaining about the next thing.

But I'm that way too! I forget how God has come through, how He has made a way and carved something magnificent from a plank of impossibilities. And I ride this spiritual roller coaster of grumble, grumble / God is good!

Sometimes we find ourselves saying, "God is so great now!" Like, now that He has provided. Now that a job or opportunity came through. Now that my children are behaving. Now that I'm seeing fruit from my efforts.

No, God is so great ALWAYS. He is always worthy of our praise. When we're parched, when we're without, when we hurt, when we see His hand at work, and even when we don't. God is great. God is good. Not simply "Now that I see His provision." Always.

LORD God, Steady us! We want more consistency in our trust of You. Bring to our minds the ways in which You've moved and made a way when we're in those parched places. Remind us of who You are and what You have done. We claim Jeremiah 17: 7-8: "BLESSED is the one who trusts in You, whose confidence is in You, for he has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Don't let droughts shake us, nor famines fluster us. Keep us confident in Your faithfulness. In the strong and mighty name of Jesus, Amen.

LURKING

2012-01-13T06:09:00.010-05:00

When I was in my hometown last week, I took my kids to the park where I'd played as a little girl. I was excited to go back and let my own children play there, so my mom, my brother Marc and I walked the kids over.

Marc had his dog with him, so he stopped for a moment while we went on up ahead. Two minutes later my brother was right beside us saying, "Let's go" with an urgency in his voice. We gathered up the kids and headed home--and as we walked, he filled us in on what we hadn't realized was happening.

While Marc was with his dog, he noticed a man who had been lurking around, looking around. Marc said he saw the man lock in on me walking with my mom, probably eyeing my camera that looks extra fancy with the zoom lens and hood on it. Marc watched the man look this way and that, put up the hood on his black hoodie, and start moving toward us.

Marc grabbed his dog and began running toward us, which scared off the man in the hoodie. He was gone before we even knew anything was going on.

We have to be so careful out there. And I actually usually am pretty mindful of what's going on and am pretty guarded and careful in situations. But this was happening literally right behind my back, completely unbeknownst to me.

And it's happening in the spiritual realm, too. We must keep close to our Defender, anticipating the moves of an enemy who hates us--yes, hates us, and is looking to take, take, take anything good he possibly can from us.

He's dangling that thing in front of us, hoping we take the bait, because he knows it will hook us and entrap us.

He's hoping he can get us to believe God is holding out on us and will never come through for us. And if we're not spending any time in truth to remember that our God is always faithful and true--while in stark contrast our enemy is the father of lies--we're going to be an easy target.

We need to understand that while God is real and NO ONE is greater, the devil is real, too--and we've been warned. "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8). We must be covered with the full armor of God and on the lookout.

Almighty God, I pray for each person who is reading today, that you will make their minds wise to the schemes of one who wants nothing but to hurt them. Remind them of Your rich, lavish love. Remind them that You are endlessly faithful and can be trusted. Protect them from one who plots for their pain and destruction. Establish a mighty fortress around your children. In Jesus' name, Amen.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;
I have come that they may have life--life to the full.
Jesus' words in John 10:10

AN I FOR AN I

2012-01-01T09:44:00.008-05:00

"Go, Moses. I am sending you to bring My people out of Egypt."

Talk about intimidating! When the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob stood before Moses and called him to this tremendous task, his eyes were, understandably, immediately on his own frailties.

"Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"

Good question, Moses. You were little more than a non-eloquent, slow -of-speech, wanted man on the run for killing an Egyptian. Who were you to take on such a task? Maybe we really shouldn't go there.

And God didn't.

The LORD Almighty didn't rattle off a bunch of reasons why Moses was the man of His choosing. He didn't try to inflate Moses' self-esteem with a pep talk about his stellar achievements and impressive qualifications. In fact, God's response to Moses' whole "Who-am-I?" thing had nothing to do with Moses. He simply said,

"I will be with you."

There was no need to gush over Moses' resume' because it wasn't even about him. It had everything to do with the One who would be with Him.

Who am *I* to be the one to do this?

*I* will be with you.

God simply traded an *I* for an *I*.

Even Gideon tried to ask his own *I* question: "But how can I save Israel?" And again, God traded an *I* for an *I*:

"I will be with you."

What are you facing that has you asking "Who am I to be the one to do this?" Maybe you've been called to something big, or maybe you're just the mom or dad of a child who is requiring everything of you. Maybe you're simply trying to get out of debt this year, and the task seems insurmountable. You're in good company if you find yourself asking "Who am I?" But whatever your task, it's probably not worth even asking about your own *I*.

Simply acknowledge His.

"I will be with you and will bless you." Genesis 26:3 God to Isaac
"I will be with you." Genesis 31:3, God to Jacob
"I will be with you." Exodus 3:12, God to Moses
"No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will never leave you nor forsake you." Joshua 1:5, God to Joshua
"I will be with you." Judges 6:16

* * * Happy New Year! * * *

THE DREAM YEAR

2011-12-22T22:04:00.027-05:00

I have been chomping at the bit to make a super-exciting announcement:

* * * * * * * * * * * *
I'm in the DREAM YEAR Class of 2012!!!!

I first heard about Dream Year at the Quitter Conference. I looked Dream Year up online and began to pray over what I saw. It's all about living intentionally and doing what God gifted you to do--this has very much been the burden of my heart. I wanted to be in on it in some way--and, to be honest, I thought I was praying big when I thought about possibly attending the Dream Year Weekend in Charlotte, NC in January.

I remember it was the end of August when I sat down with Justin and asked him how he would feel if I planned to attend DY Weekend. I showed him the website and he read quietly for awhile. Then he called me over and said what I never, ever expected to come out of his mouth:

"Why don't you apply to be on the team of twelve?"

I opened my mouth, ready to rattle off half a dozen reasons why that just would not work. This wasn't simply one weekend--it was applying to join a team of 12 individuals in whom God has birthed a vision to do something for His Kingdom--a year of audaciously pursuing the call on our lives. Honestly, that was never on my radar at all--I thought the DY Weekend was a big leap of faith! But IN THAT MOMENT as I stood poised and ready to say why it would never work for me to apply, I KNEW I was in the midst of something tremendously of God. Like, right then. I don't know how to describe it, other than I knew this was going to be a faith challenge much like up-and-moving to Boston strictly on God's leading had been 12 years ago.

As I stood there with my mind mulling over the possibilities at hand, Justin said these words to me: "Why WOULDN'T it be you?" His words were a balm to every wound of rejection and an answer to every insecurity that had been drummed up in me. Oh, what a good, good man.

By October, I had the peace, confirmations, and enough savings to feel comfortable in applying. I knew the deadline was in December, so once I applied, I knew I was in for a bit of a wait.

While I waited, I began to forget. I forgot of how I'd felt the Holy Spirit stirring in my heart the day Justin first said I should apply. I forgot how God had given such peace the week I applied. I forgot I had anything to offer, by the grace of God.

For me, the nail in the coffin was when, a week or two before the deadline, I saw online that applications had been streaming in for the Dream Year Coaching. That was kind of it for me. I really assumed I wasn't going to be in on it. Surely what I was passionate about wasn't going to make the cut in light of all the amazing things I see people doing.

* Saturday, December 10th. The application deadline date. I spent the day just kind of aware of the fact. I wasn't holding my breath at that point though.

* Monday, December 12th. I'm chosen! But I didn't know yet because I was sound asleep when word arrived. An email of congratulations was sent to me at 11pm that night. (I LOVE that this blessing had my name on it for hours before I knew about it!!)

* Tuesday, December 13th. 6am. I stumbled downstairs, still bleary-eyed and needing some coffee. I picked up my phone and saw that I had an email. And the subject of that message?

Welcome to Dream Year. :)

Still half-asleep, I wondered if I was dreaming. I read and re-read I don't know how many times. I sat down in the dark of my living room and cried and shook like a leaf for a good 5 minutes!!!

And then I read my Bible. And prayed. Bliss.

You know what was so beautiful about that moment? I KNEW God had made a way. He had to--there would have been no way for me any other way! Out of a plank of impossibilities, He carved out His way for me. And those were the sweetest, most glory-filled few moments. I imagined God absolutely GIDDY at the sight of His child realizing that He had made a way for her. I'll never forget it!

And then after those moments with the One who made a way, I ran upstairs and showed Justin the email. Justin, my husband who has listened to me vent my passions and frustrations and burdens all these years now, celebrated and rejoiced with me. It was beautiful.

My one concern was that some of what I had saved prior to applying had to be used for other obligations, but I kept assuming I wouldn't be given the opportunity anyway. So when I got word I was part of the team, I had 10 days to gather the payment--and I was short! But between selling a bunch of items around the house and the amazing love of friends, I had every penny. And, once again, God carved a way out of the plank of impossibility. Awesome.

And so, by God's grace, I'm in! My Dream Year project has to do with developing an event geared toward encouraging believers to open up their Bibles, to see its relevance to their lives, and to fall in love with the Word of God. That's the nutshell version, anyway!

On a side note: A few months ago I wrote a blog post called Because of Tomorrow, What Should Happen Today? about the passage from Joshua 3 that says, "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you." I cannot tell you how many times in the past 2 to 3 months that I have heard the whisper of the Holy Spirit saying, "Ready yourself." Well, now as I look back? Gosh, no wonder He wouldn't let up on that!

I welcome your prayers. God has been more than good and gracious to let me in on what He is doing. I want this event to bring behavior change, yielding in heart and life change. I want my life to be about furthering the Kingdom, and I feel compelled to point believers toward the Word! Please pray for my own personal time in God's Word in 2012. I want to cling to Him and bring Him glory. Pray for my family time to be protected. Pray for my heart to be right.

Thank you for rejoicing with me! God has brought to mind many ideas already---I cannot wait for 2012!

P.S. In January I get to go with Justin, my son, and my daughter to Charlotte, NC for the Dream Year Weekend (for free)! It was something God had in mind all along.

It just wasn't ALL He had in mind. :)

WHY I DON'T FREAK OUT AT THE AQUARIUM

2011-12-20T05:25:00.005-05:00

Being at the aquarium doesn't scare me. Yes, that shark is looking right at me. Sure, those jellyfish are only inches away from my children.

But they're on the other side of some tremendously thick and strong glass. They're there. But it's not like they can really get us.

If you are a believer in Christ, then living in a constant state of fear is a lot like freaking out at the aquarium. Can you imagine walking through the corridors in a constant state of panic over what is on the other side of the glass?

There's no need. Nothing can really get to you.

As believers, we have the hope that nothing in this world can REALLY get us. Sure, there's trouble. Yes, there's suffering. Jobs evaporate, homes are lost, government makes decisions that affect us all. It can look like our fate rests in the hands of man, which is a scary thought. But that is far from the case. What power do they really hold over us? What can anyone REALLY do to us?

Hope envelopes us here. Heaven awaits us there.

Jesus has overcome the world that gives us trouble, and death has lost its sting. Almighty God is our fortress, our strong tower. The righteous run to Him and are safe.

Consider the thing that right now draws up fear in you. As you go through this day, declare that it holds no real threat against you. You are in the strong and protective hands of God. As close as that threat may be to you, in Christ it is on the "other side of the glass." You walk about in safety (Prov. 3:23) -- no matter what.

In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust;
I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?
Psalm 56:4

In God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
Psalm 56:11

The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
Psalm 118:6

So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?
Hebrews 13:6

THE FATHER'S DAUGHTERS

2011-12-15T04:13:00.015-05:00

There's a Hooters Restaurant in town, and we drive by it from time to time. My kids often ask if they can go into "that cool place with the owl on it." My answer has been "no" more times than I can count, and without explanation. But finally I told my son that we don't go there because sometimes men don't treat women with respect there. His response?

"Well, I have a great idea. Why don't Daddy and I go there sometime, and he and I will be REALLY nice to all the ladies!"

I muffled a laugh. Incidentally, yeah...that's not going to happen.

Seriously though, it hurts my heart to see ANY woman being objectified. Nothing wrong with noticing beauty. But for a man to purposefully enter a restaurant with the intent of staring at women's chests outside of any sort of relationship with them is just plain wrong.

I think of the frightening trend toward objectification of women in our world. Everything to the trafficking of girls, to the sexualization of girls' clothing, to places that are built for men to go and stare at women's bodies rather than look them in the eyes. You say you're just going there "for the wings"? Brother, please. Nobody's buying that.

But I believe I'm not half as upset about it as our Heavenly Father. We know His thoughts on lust. But lust at the expense of His beloved daughters? I cannot imagine how His anger burns over the way His daughters are treated. Our God is slow to anger and abounding in love. But do I believe He is angry over this? Absolutely.

When I was about 12, my dad picked me up from dance class one night. And as we headed out to the car, two teenage boys made a comment about my body. Well, hell hath no fury like a father whose daughter's body just got commented on! It wasn't pretty. And should anyone dishonor my little girl? I promise you my normally-mild-mannered husband would be on that like white on rice. There would be NO tolerance for the mistreatment of his little girl.

How much more for the Father who made us?

We were fashioned by loving hands--hands that intended for us purity and honor. He is enthralled by the beauty He made in you and me--altogether lovely are we! I am no object--I am Somebody's daughter. And my own daughter will head out into this world someday. I want her to know who she is in Him--and expect to be treated that way.

Don't worry, I'm not going to close out with the lyrics to "I'm Every Woman" or anything like that. :) I just think it's time for a reminder of who we are in Him.

THROW AND GO

2011-12-10T21:11:00.022-05:00

My husband tells the story of a time he went hiking with a group of guys, one of whom was huffing and puffing and having an especially tough time making it up the side of the mountain. Things made a bit more sense when they reached the top and the guy plunked down, pulled a ginormous watermelon out of his backpack and asked, "Anyone want some?"

Now, I have enough common sense not to try and huff a huge watermelon up the side of the mountain (or to try to climb a mountain at all, for that matter). But I sure can relate to trying to take a little too much baggage on my journey.

I can't get Hebrews 12:1 off my mind lately: "Let us throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." My wonderfully loving and creative God has set a course for my life--a race I was made to run. But how can I run with my arms wrapped around a watermelon? How can my strides lead me to where I am to go with its vines draping down around my legs and tripping me up?

I can't. I cannot possibly run the kind of race in the kind of way I was meant to when I'm holding on to hindrances.

I need to drop my watermelon and run. You need to drop your watermelon and run. We were made for an abundant life and we will miss too much of the set-aside-for-us abundance if we do not grab hold of whatever holds us, throw it off, and run like our lives depend on it--Because, in fact, the abundant life really does.

WHATEVER is keeping you from running with reckless abandon the race God has set before you, pull it off and RUN. If anything (or anyone) draws your eye away from total devotion to Jesus Christ--even if you have to pry it off, then do so--and RUN.

Throw and Go.

You may think this is just about you, that only you are affected. Not even! "Throwing and Going" impacts generations. Can you imagine the heritage your children will receive through you throwing off what hinders and entangles? By feverishly pursuing the path God has for you? By pulling off whatever is holding you back? By walking (running) in obedience to the God who goes out of His way to bless the upright?

Or you can just keep running with that giant watermelon in your hands. Sadly, that impacts generations, too.

And think of those around you who need you to throw off everything and run. Consider the people who make an impact in your own walk with God. You need them running their race unfettered so that they can speak truth or serve or minister to you. But there are those who need YOU to run YOUR race unfettered so that you can do the same for them. We run first and foremost out of love and obedience to our God. But we also owe it to the people around us to run our race right, because of the impact it will have on them. There are people around YOU who are waiting for you to run right and fulfill the call God has uniquely placed on YOUR life, because they will be blessed by you running your race unhindered.

What's your watermelon? What's that thing you're trying to huff along with you as you run the race marked out for you? I don't even think it's that we don't want to run the race God has for us; We just want to be able to take all our stuff along for the run.

Throw off everything that hinders you.
Throw off the sin that so easily entangles you.
Run with perseverance the race marked out for you.

Throw and Go.

I KNOW WHAT I WILL WANT

2011-12-04T05:29:00.016-05:00

"This is the one!" I gushed, pointing to a poofy-sleeved wedding dress in the JCPenney Wedding Dresses catalog. I smoothed the pages and beamed with pride, fully expecting my parents' elation to match mine.

"So here's what I'm thinking," I announced. "Wedding dress prices are sure to keep going up, so what if we buy this one now and save it for when I get married? I know this is the very dress I'm going to want, even if it's 10 years down the road."

I was 14. Aaaaand absolutely, one hundred percent serious.

I don't know how my parents kept a straight face. Their answer was something along the lines of, "Um...that would be a NO."

I was a little bit crushed. I was so sure I knew what I was going to want down the road.

My parents knew better.

Because, truth be told, by the time I actually did get married, my tastes had changed just a tad. And I think I might have *cried* if I'd had to get married in that poofy-sleeved monstrosity! I do not know what possessed me to think that all that abundant fabric billowing around my shoulders would be a cute look. And on my eventual wedding day, I donned a lovely, simple gown. With thin little sparkly straps rather than shoulder poofs so big as to obstruct my side-to-side view.

But I'd been so sure I knew what I was going to want down the road.

Think back over your life--over the things you were convinced you had to have, over the people you were sure you wanted to take the journey with you, over the way you were so certain you wanted it to go.

Were you right?

I wasn't. SO not right. I wasn't right about a lot of things I was so sure I would want long-term. And the way that I found out I wasn't right about them was by receiving what God intended to give me all along. And then, all of a sudden, what I was so sure I would want quickly paled in comparison to what my Ephesians 3:20 God held before me.

Thank goodness my parents didn't give me what I was so sure I wanted. And thank goodness God doesn't, either! His ways are higher than mine, and perfect forever. He does not change with times or styles or seasons. What He gives is lasting--and right.

And so right now as you consider that thing, that person, that opportunity you are absolutely convinced you will want long term, at least entertain the thought that God might have more for you--And that perhaps one day, when you hold His immeasurably-more-than-all-we-could-ask-or-imagine gifts He has given you, you'll think of all the things you wanted as little more than poofy-sleeved wedding dresses boxed up in a closet.

You think you know what you want--and what you will want. But--glory to God--you might just be wrong. :)

Now to Him who is able to do
immeasurably more
than all we ask or imagine,
according to His power
that is at work within us,
to Him be glory in the church
and in Christ Jesus
throughout all generations,
forever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21

THE LIMITED VIEW

2011-12-01T21:20:00.016-05:00

If you want to know what's going on around you, then don't look around you.

Wait....What?

On my way to work I always come to this "VEHICLE APPROACHING WHEN FLASHING" sign. It's at a bend in the road with very limited visibility, so rather than looking left and right before turning onto Burnt Hickory, I have to stare straight ahead at the light to know whether it's safe to turn right or left. If the light is flashing, then a car is coming (whether I can see it from my vantage point or not, it's coming). If not, it's clear--and safe for me to proceed.

Seems counter-intuitive to look straight ahead rather than right or left, but it's the safest way.

Because there are cars coming around the bend just beyond where I can see them, and if I pull out simply because I can't see any cars coming, I could get hit. So I cannot trust in what I see when I look side to side--my view is just too limited. I have to stare straight toward the light and take my cues from it.

There are things that you and I can't see in the limited view of our humanness. We can't see that that "harmless" flirtation could eventually cause one heck of a train wreck, and that's why our God urges us to run like heck (my paraphrase) from sexual immorality--and even from the steps that could potentially lead toward it. Harmless? Hardly. It's not a game, it's not a fun diversion. It is a catastrophe waiting to happen. And maybe we can't see that one swipe after another of our credit cards is going to land us in a financial collision eventually, but that's why there are constant urges--just in Proverbs alone--not to proceed into obligations of debt.

When we look around at our circumstances, they may appear safe. But that's exactly WHY WE CAN'T look to our circumstances--we just can't see what could be coming around the way that is currently beyond our view. We need to fasten our gaze straight ahead on Jesus and on His perfect Word, because it brings to light what is hidden and speaks to what we cannot see.

And on the flip side, there are times when victory, redemption, and enormous joy are just outside our limited view. We can't see any fruit from our faith, but it doesn't mean it's not on its way. There may be something absolutely glory-drenched right around the bend that is about to collide with our lives in the most beautiful way.

Maybe it's the family who has prayed for years to be matched with a child finally being told there's one waiting. Maybe it's the brother coming to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ when you weren't sure it was ever going to happen. Maybe it's the job for which you've been praying that lands in your lap just as you were about to give up hope. Proverbs 2:7 says that He holds victory in store for the upright, and the Hebrew word for "in store" suggest that the victory is hidden--unseen. But that victory is very much in store for us, nonetheless.

Want to understand what's going on around you? Don't look around you! Stare toward the One who brings understanding to our oh-so-limited view.

Let us fix our eyes on JESUS,
the author and finisher of our faith.
Hebrews 12:2

No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
and no mind has imagined
what God has prepared
for those who love Him.
1 Corinthians 2:9

EXAMPLES

2011-11-18T15:18:00.013-05:00

I love looking at trees right after they've lost their leaves.

Because I don't just see uncovered branches and unadorned limbs. I don't just see "Nudie Trees," as my 3-year old calls them.

I see my examples.

These trees have endured wind and rain and storms that have blown away every last leaf until they stand naked.

And with nothing left, their arms still stretch toward God.

When the winds blow and the storms come against us, leaving us stripped of everything we have, when we're emptier than we've ever been, when we've run out of our own strength, do we crumble into a heap on the ground?

Or do we stand in His strength and raise hands in worship to our God?

You will go out in JOY and be led forth in PEACE.
The mountains and hills will burst into song before you,
and the trees of the field will clap their hands.
Isaiah 55:12

*Happy Thanksgiving this week!*

SOMETHING'S GOTTA GO

2011-11-16T11:38:00.027-05:00

Maybe--just maybe--it's time to not be serving where you're serving.

When I was 22, I got a call saying that a few of the pastors at my church wanted to meet with me. I was a scandal-free kind of girl and didn't have any big skeletons in my closet, so I wasn't too worried--but I was a little curious as to what they had to say.

When I arrived for the meeting that day, Pastor Ken and Pastor Tom sat across from me and spoke some hard-to-hear, but important, words:

"Thea," they started, "you're involved in a lot of areas here. And we fear for you the potential of burnout. If you keep at the pace you're going, you're liable to begin to dread or resent serving--and ministry in general."

It was true--I was all over the place. I led worship, helped with the children's choir, participated in the adult choir, was on the ministry team for the college group, and was a leader in the high school group.

"We want you to take a month off. From everything," they continued. No serving anywhere. Just take this time to pray about where God wants you. Consider where you're really excited to serve. Then come back to that. If it's to all 5 ministries, great. But if it's just to one, then come back to the one and serve with all your heart."

I won't lie, there was a part of me that felt a bit hurt. Why don't they want my service? I wondered. But the more I thought and prayed about it, the more I realized they were giving me a gift in encouraging me to evaluate where I was serving. WHY was I serving? Was I passionate about all of those opportunities? Was I gifted to serve well in all of those areas?

That month-long hiatus was tough at first. I felt like I'd go stir-crazy sitting at home on the nights when I used to have somewhere I had to be. But by the end of the month, there was great peace. I knew some things had to go. Almost everything, in fact.

I returned to only one out of the five ministries.

I returned to leading worship--that was it. And you know what? The other 4 ministries didn't fall apart without me. In fact, other people stepped in to spots that I had once occupied, using their God-given gifts and talents to lead and serve. We can assume we're supposed to serve all over the place. But sometimes when that happens, other people who are gifted and equipped to serve won't do so because they see the spots are filled--sometimes by people who might not even be strong in serving in those areas.

My pastors cared about me, and were wise to encourage me to assess my service. And their wisdom remains with me to this day. I don't just jump into every opportunity and assume every spot is mine to fill.

I don't know what it is about having somewhere we have to be that can make us feel needed, nor how having an empty spot in our planners can make us feel empty--but it's very much the case. We really have to be honest when we assess WHY we're serving. Sometimes these things I do for others in the name of ministry have a lot to do with ME and very little to do with YOU.

It was appropriate for me to let go. Not easy. But appropriate.

Consider the areas in which you're currently serving. Are you passionate about them, or are they obligations to fulfill? Are you actually good at doing what you're doing, or were you basically "voluntold" to sign up? And, most importantly, did you PRAY about committing to those areas in which you're serving before you agreed to do so? And finally, have you possibly spread yourself so thin doing so many different good things that you have a sinking feeling you're not really doing any of them well?

Sometimes something's gotta go. Be honest. Pray. And then discern what is to stay, and what is to go.

* Check out this GREAT POST from Tentblogger. He speaks to the need to let God prune our service to make it more fruitful. Similar to this post, but written far more eloquently and compellingly! :)

DEAR JESUS: (Shut Up!!!)

2011-11-14T20:21:00.016-05:00

I'll never forget one of the most legendary prayers ever spoken in our house:

"Dear Jesus, (Shut up!) We just love you so much (Get away from me!!!!) and we pray that you will help us do the right thing (You stupid!)--Amen."

Ah, the bedtime prayer of a boy who is trying to pray AND fight with his little sister at the same time. He was basically sandwiching his conversation with God in between bouts of sibling rivalry.

But really, is it any different than what a lot of grown-ups do?

We spend our Sunday mornings in worship, but then get into an argument with our spouse on the drive home.

We tell God in prayer that we would go to the ends of the earth for him, but an hour later we speak harsh, critical words to those around us.

We speak of our love for God but slander the very ones He made.

We thank God for forgiving us, but refuse to extend mercy to another.

We basically sandwich our worship of God in between our battles with man. And if I can see the tremendous dichotomy between my son's loving expression toward God and his unkind words toward his sister, then why can't I identify these same discrepancies in my own life?

LORD, let our love for one another be real-- and rich with grace. There's just no room for us to worship You and then turn right around and lash out at each other.

Above all else,
have a severe love for one another,
for love covers a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8

If you keep on biting and devouring each other,
watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
Galatians 5:15

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another;
be sympathetic, love as brothers,
be compassionate and humble.
1 Peter 3:8

DOESN'T FIT

2011-11-11T17:42:00.016-05:00

I'm a curvy girl with a work-in-progress kind of body. I could try all the live-long day to squeeze into Size 4 jeans and it just wouldn't happen for me. It's not like I'm into elastic waistband territory or anything, but you're not going to find me trying to fit all of this into a pair of jeggings.

As a follower of Christ, there are some things that just don't fit me, either.

Gossip doesn't fit in my mouth as His follower.

Unforgiveness doesn't fit in my heart as His disciple.

Judgement doesn't fit on me as one who has been shown mercy.

So what does fit on a child of God?

PRAISE.

It is FITTING for the upright to praise Him (Psalm 33:1).

Worship is the garment that fits on a believer. Acknowledgement of God is what fits on a follower. A life of praise is what fits on you and me when we call Him LORD of our lives.

Praise the LORD. How good it is to sing praises to our God,
how pleasant and FITTING to praise Him!
Psalm 147:1

I AM IN DESPERATE NEED

2011-11-11T07:54:00.016-05:00

I need the LORD. I mean, desperately. I get that there is no hope for me apart from Him.

I need the LORD right now--today. I need His strength to seek His face. To love my husband and children. To be self-controlled and pure. To be busy at home. To not lose my cool. To keep going. To not wreck my life. To use my talents. To believe who I am in Him. To love others. To be in His Word. To look to Him for my worth rather than clamoring for the acceptance of man. To stand up under lies and rejection. To overcome. To trust that He is making a way in the desert where I don't see it. To be confident in His provision and timing. And I need His forgiveness, for I have come up short more times than I can bear.

I've been unloving, unjoyful, unpeaceful, impatient, unkind, ungood, unfaithful, ungentle, and un-self-controlled. I NEED the LORD. I need the work of His Holy Spirit in me. I need Him to help me be the woman He wants me to be, because apart from Him I am a lost cause, and would be worthy of being written off.

BUT GOD.

If ever there was a song that captured my story and spoke to my need (and His beautiful response to it), it's this one:

If the truth was known and a light was shown
on every hidden part of my soul,
most would turn away, shake their heads and say
"She still has such a long way to go."
If the truth was known you'd see
that the only good in me
is Jesus.

If the walls could speak of the times I've been weak
when everybody thought I was strong,
Could I show my face if it weren't for the grace
of the One who's known the truth all along?
If the walls could speak, they'd say
that my only hope is the grace of Jesus--
The grace of Jesus.

And oh, the goodness and the grace in Him,
He takes it all and makes it mine,
and He causes His light in me to shine
and HE LOVES ME
with a love that never ends
Just as I am, not as I do,
Could this be real, could this be true?
This could only be a MIRACLE
This could only be the miracle of mercy.

MIRACLE OF MERCY * Steven Curtis Chapman

* To listen, Click HERE. One of my lifesongs,
and it still moves me to tears.

ACKNOWLEDGE

2011-11-08T07:35:00.017-05:00

My son thinks his personal mission in life is to hold the door open for others. He often bolts ahead of us at church just to get to the door so he can hold it open for us. Aaaand everyone else within a 5-mile radius.

I'm always a bit surprised (read: seriously pet-peeved) when grown-ups walk through the door that my young boy is holding open for them without thanking him, or sometimes without even looking at him.

This is so NOT me to do, but secretly I wish that just once I could call someone out on it. "Pardon me," I would say, "but how do you suppose that door got open for you? Did you not notice the not-even-4-foot-tall, tiny individual using all his strength to hold it open so that you could walk through?"

Of course, I'd never actually say that to someone. But the lack of acknowledgement is upsetting.

I kind of wonder though if God sometimes takes issue with us on this very thing. "Pardon me," He might say, "but how do you suppose that door got open for you? Did you not perceive the One used His mighty strength to hold it open for you so that you could walk through?"

"How do you suppose you have food on your table?"

"How do you suppose you were able to accomplish what seemed impossible?"

"How do you suppose you have a roof over your head?"

"How do you suppose you found favor in that situation?"

"How do you suppose you're able to lead worship so well / write so well / parent so well / teach so well / speak so well?"

The hand of the LORD has done it--He has made a way. Perhaps He has delighted to do it in and through you, but the hand of the LORD has done these things. And His works demand our acknowledgement.

I love this verse:

Let us acknowledge the LORD;
Let us PRESS ON to acknowledge the LORD.
Hosea 6:3

* What work or provision of God might you need to acknowledge today?

A RUNNER'S WATER BREAK

2011-11-07T07:30:00.016-05:00

Marathon runners are crazy. I'm convinced. They actually pay to go somewhere and run 26.2 miles, just to run. There's not even a rabid dog or mountain lion chasing them or anything. I don't get it. For the record, I'm not even sure I've run a collective 26.2 miles over the course of my life.

And their marathon breaks are so....un-break-like! They don't even stop--they just grab a cup of water from someone's outstretched hand, and keep running. If I ever do manage to run a marathon (don't hold your breath), my break will most definitely involve stopping. And probably a caramel iced coffee and a recliner, too.

A lot of us have our quiet times (if we have them at all) like marathon runners. We think we only have time to get some Living Water if we don't have to slow down or stop to receive it. We read a devotion from our iPhones at a red light, we throw up a quick prayer for favor as we're running into the meeting. But it has to be fast, because we dare not actually stop to receive it.

I get that we're busy. If I don't get my time with God in before one of my children wakes up, I'm hard-pressed to get it in before 10pm--and that's if I'm still awake then! But I can't help thinking of the story of Jesus feeding the multitudes in John 6.

"Have the people sit down," He told His disciples.

And then He fed them.

He invited them to sit and receive the food He would provide for them. And then they ate their fill and were satisfied. Jesus didn't pass out this provision through some Drive-Thru window; They sat and ate from the provision of His hands.

There's something in this that just speaks to my heart. Some days are just Go, Go, Go from morning to night--but He invites us to sit and receive what He has for us. What if our times with God reflected the fact that we've gotten the invitation to come and sit and receive? If our quiet times are constantly happening on the run, we're too busy. Period. What else is so valuable as to be able to compete with that time?

Carve out the time. Be still for a moment. Come and sit and be fed.

And--Hallelujah--you can even do it with an caramel iced coffee and a recliner. :)

ONE WAS NOT ENOUGH

2011-11-06T03:48:00.009-05:00

It's 4:37am, and I just woke up from a nightmare.

I dreamed our family was walking down the grassy center area between two highways, and at some point Justin and I noticed that our children weren't behind us anymore. There were twists and turns behind us, so we didn't have a straight shot to see behind us to try and find them. Justin stayed put in case they returned, and I ran, desperate to find them.

My son showed up unharmed on his own. I celebrated and rejoiced, but having only one of my children home was not enough. I went right back on running, because my little girl was still wandering out there by herself. I ran with a fury and desperation I can't even begin to describe. I had to get to her. I couldn't bear the thought of what her fate could be if I couldn't get there in time. Then suddenly I was inside a house and a woman walked in, carrying my daughter over her shoulder. I couldn't tell if she was okay, so I asked, "Is she alive?" The woman nodded, and I grabbed my little girl and wailed and sobbed and cried the most relieved tears.

This is not how I wanted to wrap up a night of sleep--thinking of my son and daughter in such a dangerous situation. But what a picture God painted through it. He gave me just a tiny glimpse of his love-fueled, feverish pursuit of His children. Yes, He delights when one is found. There is great celebration when one is restored. But He can't get His mind off His children who are still out there wandering, with a potential fate He did everything to save us from.

Jesus painted this same picture with three back-to-back stories in Luke 15: First, a shepherd of 100 sheep who loses 1, and leaves the 99 to find and restore to home that one lost sheep. When he finds it, he calls his friends around to celebrate with him.

Next, a woman with 10 coins loses 1, and spends herself to find the one--lighting a lamp, sweeping in search, and looking carefully for the one lost coin. When she finds it, she calls her friends around to celebrate with her.

And then finally, the story of the lost son. A father with one of his sons safe at home finds that one alone is not enough. He spends every day staring out the window, hoping his son will return home safely. If you run the math, this man had half his children safe at home, but his heart hungrily hoped for his other son to come home. And when the son did, the man was standing there waiting, watching, looking out the window. And when he saw the outline of his boy even from far off, that father RAN-likely in furious, desperate pursuit--to get to his son. I bet there were relieved sobs and screams of joy. If it was anything like the reunion I had with my daughter in my dream, there were. And then, the celebration feast with shouts of "My son was lost, but now he is found!"

I'll be sitting in church in a few hours, among a bunch of other "found" folk. I'm not saying we're found nor saved just by occupying a seat in a church on Sunday, but it's safe to say that later on today I'll be surrounded by the "found." It's easy to forget that while our God has celebrated us returning to Him, there are still many who are lost. And the fate of those apart from Christ is even more devastating than the potential fate of a child wandering between two freeways. I can't get out of my mind the desperation of the heart of God to draw them to Himself, and have them return home. The invitation has been sent, a place has been made for them--and now they can either choose or not choose to come home. But let it be clear--He has made a way for His children to come home.

And now I have a greater understanding of how He feels about those who are still out there lost.

"Some" saved isn't "Enough" saved. Following the parable of the lost sheep in Matthew 18, Jesus said this:

In the same way, your Father in Heaven
is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.
Matthew 18:14

And so this morning as many of us go and surround ourselves with the rest of the "found," let us remember those who are still out there lost. Pray for them by name, that they will be restored to the Father, and consider how great the rejoicing will be when they do.

THE MORNING PRAYER THAT MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE

2011-11-04T07:01:00.011-04:00

Isn't it amazing how the start of your day seems to dictate how the rest of the day goes? You wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and sometimes it feels like it's hard to recover from that rough start.

But it goes the other way, too. The way your day starts has a lot to do with how the rest of the day will go. This is more than just having a quiet time (which of course I totally recommend); It's saying something to God in those very first moments of the day that sets us on a peaceful course for the rest of the day.

My awesome friend Jackie recommended this to me when I was in a season of stressing over how my days were unfolding. She said I should acknowledge God as Lord of that day before I even set foot out of bed, and that when she began to do that, she viewed her days differently.

And so this has become my morning prayer that I say before I even get out of bed:

LORD,
Before I set even one foot on the floor to begin this day,
I am acknowledging YOU.
I am saying that You are the Author of this day,
You order my steps in it,
and You will unfold it by Your grace.
What you have in this day for me,
I'll receive with thanks.
But I will not lament
what you do not have for me in this day.
This day is Yours and for Your glory.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.

You see, this prayer made all the difference because I was going through a time where clients would have to cancel, and it would cause a lot of anxiety about the rearrangement of my schedule and the loss of income. When I started praying this prayer in the morning, things shifted in my heart to where there wasn't anxiety if things didn't go according to plan; I saw it as just the ordering of my steps for the day. And what I may have previously seen as the loss of one thing, I began to see as the gain of another: Often, the gain of time with my kids. Once I prayed for my schedule to rest in the able hands of God, there was peace--no matter what that day ended up looking like by the time my head hit the pillow at night.

Almighty God, You PRE-KNOW our days. You have written every one of them out before one of them came to be. Nothing in the unfolding of our days is a surprise to You. You're never caught off guard, never inconvenienced. So no matter what this day does or does not hold, there is tremendous peace, because You go before us in it. We love You.

WHY DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?

2011-11-02T08:58:00.025-04:00

I spent the better part of Monday having a mammogram. Good fun. First, I ended up in the wrong office and had to ask a middle-aged man where the Breast Center was. He told me, then put his hand on my arm and said, "And hey--good luck up there!" Great...thanks.

I got up there and put my clothes in a locker, and waited. At one point I looked over at the sea of lockers and realized I hadn't paid attention to which number was on the locker I'd used. I imagined never finding my clothes and having to make a break for it, leaving the hospital in the burgundy, questionable-coverage "wrap" they gave me to wear.

Finally I had the procedure, then waited. I'd already been told it wasn't likely that I would need an ultrasound, so I was expecting to be in and out fairly quickly. But it wasn't going to go that way.

"Mrs. Nelson, we found something on your mammogram and we'll need to do an ultrasound to further investigate."

I waited in a room for over an hour with only my thoughts to occupy me. I began to think of the reasons I didn't want bad news. And my mind went to a passage I read a few months back in Francis Chan's book Forgotten God. In the excerpt he tells of a time he was called to a home to pray for a man dying of cancer. The elders gathered around him to anoint him with oil and pray for his healing. But before they prayed, Chan asked the sick man something he says he doesn't usually ask:

"Why do you want to be healed? Why do you want to stay on this earth?"

An unusual question, perhaps. But a fair one.

Why do we care to live? Why do we fear getting bad news? If we are told our time will be short, what lost opportunity might we grieve? And if we're told all is well, how will we be good stewards of the blessed gift called "more time"?

Is it because we are hungry to continue bringing glory to God? To continue to do what He called us to do? Or is it so we can spend our days on our own pursuits and passions, as is mentioned in James 4:3?

As I waited, I was overwhelmed with peace. I wasn't afraid of bad news, even though they'd found something iffy. I honestly wasn't even afraid of dying, if that was part of it. But as I sat in that room, I just asked God that if something was wrong, to please strengthen my husband and children to continue to walk in truth, and let their lives be about declaring His name and renown. That's honestly all that truly mattered to me in those moments. I was consumed with the desire for His will to be done in my family, with or without me.

The ultrasound revealed everything to be fine, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I am truly grateful. But now that I know it is, how will I live? Spending this gift called life on myself, my comforts, my own desires, making a way for myself?

My life verses are from Isaiah 61, and verse 3 says that the LORD planted me and established me TO DISPLAY HIS SPLENDOR. That is why I'm here--TO DISPLAY HIS SPLENDOR. So if that means I have 3 more years or 30 more years, in the days that God gave me to live I am here TO DISPLAY HIS SPLENDOR.

I'm going to fail. And at times I'm going to mistakenly think something about my life from the cradle to the grave is somehow about me. But at the heart of it, I want to bring God glory. Why do I want to live? To do just that. And at the end of the time here, it'll be just the beginning of living in the presence of His glory.

* Why do you want to live?

For me, to live is Christ
and to die is gain.
Philippians 1:21

UNKNOWINGLY PASSED DOWN

2011-10-25T03:21:00.024-04:00

"Oh, my word, I could HUG YOU!" I said to my friend Angie when she brought me a Coke in the hospital after I'd had my son. I'd had this insatiable craving for soda, and once I had delivered, I was so ready to have an ice cold bubbly Coke.

Well, guess what a nursing mother should most certainly NOT drink, unless she wants her newborn to get all hopped up on caffeine? Let's just say that Night Two of my son's life was a little rough.

It didn't even occur to me that what I was guzzling down was going to affect my child. And that it wasn't gonna be pretty.

When one of my children was still quite young, I used to watch old episodes of "Friends," without concern that they would pick up on anything. At that young age, surely everything would go right over their heads, right? Nope. My child heard--and learned--an unsavory word (a word my husband and I do not say, thank you, Joey and Rachel), and then proceeded to say this unsavory word at a birthday party with a lot of my husband's co-workers within earshot. Good times.

What I was taking in was affecting my children more than I realized.

But then just yesterday as we were driving, I overheard my child singing quietly in the back of the car, "My one defense, my righteousness--Oh God, how I need You." I didn't set out for my child to necessarily learn that song, but it's been what I've been listening to the car.

And what I was taking in was affecting my children more than I realized.

The conversations we have.
The shows we watch.
The music we play.
The things we read.
The places we go.
The things we do.

What we say/watch/hear/read/do will affect our children more than we realize. Maybe they're right there alongside us, seeing and hearing as we see and hear. But even if they aren't right there, the things we take in will either tender or harden us--and our sons and daughters will most certainly be affected by the overflow of our hearts.

* When you think about your children being affected by what you take in, does that make you happy...or concerned?

"YES" DAY

2011-10-24T21:37:00.034-04:00

"When you become a mom one day, be sure to say YES when you can. And, believe me, you'll be able to say yes more than you'll realize--or sometimes more than you'll want."

I was only in high school when my mom's friend said this to me--a full 10 years before I would become a mother myself. But there was something about these words that always stuck with me.

My son's birthday was this week. One of his presents was a really cute book I found at a book fair called Yes Day. It's about a young boy who gets one "Yes" Day a year. He asks for pizza for breakfast; The answer is yes. He asks to use hair gel for spiky hair; It's a yes. He asks for a piggy-back ride, to clean his room tomorrow, to stay up late. Yes, yes, yes.

We read the book together, giggling at the fun pictures, smiling at the sweetness. And then we told our son that, on his birthday, he could have his own "Yes" Day.

I braced to have to say "No" on at least something. But you know what? I didn't have to. He didn't ask to drive the car, get a pet tarantula, or inquire about selling his sister for a Nintendo DS.

He just asked to go get frozen yogurt. He asked to follow a train that went by when we were out driving around. He asked to stop and play on the old caboose downtown. He asked to ride his bike. He even asked for some Cheese Puffs (Huh? How does he even know what those are??).

So we went for frozen yogurt. We followed the train. We got out and played on the old caboose downtown. He rode his bike. And yes, I stopped and got him some Cheese Puffs.

We didn't say "Not this time, we need to get home" when he asked to follow the train. Which is something I've totally said before, even though I had nowhere else I really had to be. I didn't say "No, buddy--maybe we'll play on the caboose later this week" like I've done in the past, simply in an effort to put him off. And when he asked for Cheese Puffs, I didn't go into some long tirade about the empty calories and chemically-processed electric-orange cheese like I totally ordinarily would have. I bought him a bag and listened to him happily crunch away in the back of the car on the way home.

It was freeing. And I think it meant more to me than it did to him.

I say NO too often--and for no good reason. "I can't sit on the floor and do a puzzle because I'll be in a world of pain if I do." Well, I did just that yesterday. Yes, it hurt (Thank you, sciatica and broken tailbone). But it also felt wonderfully right to plunk down and work on a puzzle with my kids. "No, you can't eat that. No, we can't do that. No, I'm too tired to read another book." Often my NO is spoken out of my own exhaustion or inattention, rather than a legitimate need to say no. Saying no is sometimes the easier answer--not necessarily the right answer.

My heart hurts just thinking of all the NO. Now, I'm certainly not saying I regret responding with a Necessary NO when I've had to. God has placed us over these children to give parameters and guardrails. A kindergartener has no business choosing their own diet, their own bedtime, nor their own rules on a day-to-day basis. God gives us wisdom to raise them up with boundaries for their own blessing and protection. There's a reason YES Day can't be the norm. And I can tell you that although he didn't grow an extra head from eating those Cheese Puffs, they probably won't be on next week's shopping list!

Sometimes the answer really needs to be NO. But it's the too-often-Unnecessary NO that grieves me.

Why not a YES when they want to read a fifth book? Why not a YES to stop and play on the playground when you know time will allow for it? Why not something that might make a bit of a mess, but will create a beautiful lasting memory in their minds?

I wanted to be a mom for the books and the puzzles and the painting, and to every "Can we?" to which I could say YES. Yes isn't the right answer every time, but perhaps it is more often than we may think.

And when we don't always make NO our Go-To answer without cause, it just might make our NO carry a little more weight when it has to get said.

EVENTUALLY EXHAUSTIBLE

2011-10-23T12:12:00.025-04:00

I think $1 million is just crazy money. If my husband and I worked for 23 years and didn't spend a dime, we could finally bank $1 million.

But not Bill Gates. He's worth $56 billion. That's 56,000-millions of dollars. Beyond crazy money! That guy could buy his own football team with the change he finds in his couch cushions. He could do a crazy spending spree, and it would hardly make a dent.

But he COULD run out of money. He could spend every penny. He could exhaust it all. It would take a lot, for sure--but it could happen.

I think sometimes we view Christ's love like Bill Gates' net worth. Yes, His love is crazy plentiful--we'll readily accept that. But as much as we know in our heads that there's no limit to His love, I think there's something in me and maybe in you that wrestles with the lie that I can somehow exhaust it.

Yes, His love is huge and vast. But what if I manage to selfish-and-stupid my way to the end of His love for me?

Yes, His love surpasses any love we know here on this earth. But what if there's just enough of His love for a million of my failures--but I somehow reach a million and one?

It's true--God's love is huge and vast and all-surpassing.

But it is also inexhaustible.

Limitless.

Un-run-out-able.

If we sin a million times, His love is available for the next million. He meets us in our shattered state, binds up our brokenness, and keeps on loving out of His unending love for us.

"His love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me."

The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in love. As high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him."
Psalm 103:8,11

I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor demons, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation is able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:28-29

LYRICS: "One Thing Remains" by Jesus Culture

WORRIED ABOUT THE WRONG THING

2011-10-22T16:44:00.023-04:00

Children selling cigarettes. Yep.

When I was in fourth grade, a group of my classmates decided to make fake cigarettes and cigarette boxes out of paper and tape. Then they sold these "cigarette boxes" to other classmates for 25 cents.

When our teacher found out, she was LIVID at them! But not for the reason you'd think.

You see, she wasn't too ruffled over the idea of 8-year olds making and selling fake cigarettes and pretending to smoke. But she was extremely upset that they were using her supply of paper and tape to do it.

Somehow it seemed that her concern was a bit...misplaced. In all her huff about the students using her paper and tape, she missed the most important element of the situation.

The Pharisees too were notorious for getting riled up about the wrong thing and missing the bigger picture. There was a man with a shriveled hand who sought healing from Jesus. The Pharisees wanted to see if Jesus would break the rules by healing this man on the Sabbath--and if He dared to healed the man's hand, they were ready to be all over that like white on rice, shaking their fingers and accusing him of wrongdoing!

Jesus called them out for worrying about the wrong thing. "Which is lawful to do on the Sabbath--" He asked those ready to accuse Him--"to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?" He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed by their stubborn hearts, said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." The man stretched out his hand and it was completely restored (Mark 3:1-6). And ooh, were the Pharisees riled up! Enough so to get the ball rolling on a plot to have Jesus killed.

The Pharisees weren't itching to praise God for the healing of this man--they were ready to judge Him for ministering to someone on the Sabbath. And as tireless lovers of the law, they would not stand for such a thing. They couldn't see that a man's hand was restored after years of uselessness. They just saw that it had been done on the Sabbath, and were none too pleased about it.

How are we too focused on the wrong thing? Do we get nit-picky and legalistic over the details, sometimes totally missing the miracles of what God is doing?

* In what ways are we like the Pharisees--loving laws and rules more than the work of God?

WHEN IT'S OKAY TO INTERRUPT

2011-10-18T10:51:00.010-04:00

Picture a muzzle. Think of what it's for. It's a tool of submission and silence.

Jesus used a "muzzle" once. He was in Capernaum, teaching with great authority in the synagogue. Just then a man in the synagogue who was possessed by an evil spirit began crying out, asking if Jesus had come to destroy them.

"Jesus cut him short. 'Be quiet!' He said sternly. 'Come out of this man,' He ordered. The evil spirit shook the man violently and came out of him with a shriek (Mark 1:21-26).

Jesus didn't let this evil spirit continue to have the floor--he cut him off. The Greek word for what Jesus did in telling the spirit within the man to be quiet was *phimoo* which means to muzzle. He basically silenced and subdued that evil spirit with His words.

I believe that, in Christ, we have the same authority to cut the enemy off when he begins speaking. Who says we have to sit and listen to the father of lies? Do I really have to listen to him spew belittling and venomous words? And do you really have to give ear to his deceptive whispers about who you are and what you should do? Should he continue to find an audience with you and me?

NO.

In the authority that comes through the blood of Jesus Christ, I believe we can--and should--cut Satan short. Stop him mid-sentence. Silence him with the Word of truth. The moment he begins to taunt or tempt or torment, we can come at the evil one with Scripture--and muzzle him.

When the enemy opens his mouth, feel free to interrupt. It's the one time it's okay to cut someone off.

THE UNPOPULAR HALF OF THE VERSE

2011-10-14T02:05:00.014-04:00

Just in the past few weeks I keep hearing the first half of James 1:27 quoted. Like, I've heard/read it a number of times. But not one of those times was the second half of the verse included. And I think it's because James 1:27B can be a harder pill to swallow than James 1:27A.

Here's the whole verse:

(A) Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: To look after the fatherless and the widow in their distress (B) and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
James 1:27

And then when I looked it up in my own Bible, I noticed that at some point I had underlined the first half of the verse at some point--but not the second half! "What's the deal with the second part of this verse?" I wondered. It just kept getting left out every time the verse was mentioned.

Since we're reading James in our small group, I brought this up for discussion: Is it perhaps easier for us to look after the fatherless and the widow in their distress than to do what it takes to keep oneself from being polluted by the world?

"I think so," said someone in the group. "Because I can write a check to give money to some people in need somewhere, but that doesn't mean I have to personally change how I'm living."

Exactly.

And it's true--somehow I do find it easier to do things like visit those in affliction or minister to the devastated than to personally refrain from what will stain me. Because what that looks like in your life and mine is:

*Skipping certain television shows and movies that are hilarious--but inappropriate for us who are called to keep ourselves unpolluted by the world. This one's not easy! We like our entertainment and can really let our guard down in this area. I know it's a frequent battle for me.

*Deciding it's not an option to be involved in salacious conversations. And while I may not be a big gossip girl, I know it's broader than that. It means not being sucked into the tabloids in the checkout line, or desiring to read about celeb scandals on the internet. This can be a tough one for me. But there's no other way to say it than this: Getting pulled into those is like taking part in a slanderous conversation, because even though we may not be the ones doing the talking, we're still choosing to listen to the words.

*Setting up parameters WAY far back from the line when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex. Adultery is rampant. Rampant! And the pull to it is strong, yet subtle. And sometimes this "WAY far back" thing is inconvenient. But it's part of keeping unpolluted by something that is prevalent in the world (not to mention well-worth whatever inconvenience is suffered in choosing this route).

*Not allowing money--or the seemed security of "enough" money (whatever dollar amount that might be!) to become our pursuit. Money itself is not the problem--but the love of money corrupts and pollutes. And refusing God a portion of what is His anyway is part of this. Holding "our" money in our tightly-clenched fists is a sign that the world has managed to pollute our thinking about money, and whose it really is.

Somehow it is easier to write a check, or make a meal, or pay a visit to the hurting than it is to NOT become like this world. Yes, we are to minister to the fatherless and widows in their suffering. Of course.

"But undefiled worship is (also) this: To keep oneself from being unstained by the world" (James 1:27B).

Yep, seems to me that if God included part B, then it's worth a mention and an underline.

Not to mention the action it requires of you and me so that it may be true of us.

I DID IT

2011-10-11T21:27:00.011-04:00

"There you go!" my tiny little girl said proudly as she "pushed" open the door at church for me.

Only she didn't push it open for me. I pushed it open for her.

There is no way she has in her what it takes to open those heavy glass doors on her own. But when she pressed her hands against the door and pushed, I was right behind her putting my hands on the door and pushing it open. In her mind, though, she was the one who had done it.

As this scenario was unfolding, it felt familiar. Perhaps because it wasn't the first time someone has said "I did it!" without cause. Scripture is full of people who did not recognize God's hand in their circumstances. Even in this day and age, this world echoes the words spoken in Deuteronomy 32: "Our hand has triumphed--the Lord has not done all of this" (v.27).

Even my own mirror shows the face of someone who is not always aware of God's hand just plain accomplishing. Working. Fulfilling. I start thinking it's my doing. This must've all been the works of my hands, right? After all, those are the hands I can actually see pushing against the doors.

But let's be clear: I am not making a way for God. He is making a way for His will to be done. And in doing so, He is making a way for me.

Mighty God, thank You for this picture. I can see my own hands on a door that I couldn't possibly open on my own. And should it open and the only hands I see are mine, help me to perceive that Your strong and able hands were over mine, doing what I could not do on my own!

THE AUDIENCE OR THE STAGE

2011-10-08T07:20:00.010-04:00

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen,
slow to speak, and slow to become angry."
James 1:19

I've read and heard this passage plenty of times, but this morning it came to life in a new way. I looked up the Greek word for "listen," and found that one of the meanings of the Greek word AKOUO is *to be in the audience.*

To be in the audience. I know I'm going to be chewing on that one for awhile.

Because--and especially for those who feel comfortable on a stage--center stage can have much more of a pull on us than an audience chair. The former holds the possibility of being heard and understood--and the latter, listening and learning.

But there's something in you and me that is drawn toward being heard and understood more than listening and learning.

We want the spotlight! Whether it's in a discussion or an argument, we may interrupt or even raise our voices, all in our desperate attempts to be heard and understood. I know I've been guilty of that.

But what if we were so desperate to listen and learn? What if we were so hungry to hear what others have to say than to have the chance to say what we think?

What if we didn't clamor for center stage?

And what if you and I were willing to choose the audience seat?

IF YOU COULD PRE-HEAR YOUR EULOGY

2011-10-06T19:57:00.013-04:00

Last year I was at a yard sale with tables full of children's clothes. As I was looking through what they had, I overheard the homeowner's mother telling a shopper, "My daughter-in-law passed away two years ago. She worked all the time because it was always really important to afford cute clothes for her kids."

I turned around to see the woman smiling as she said these words. I thought she was saying them with sadness, but when I saw her face I realized she'd spoken them with a great sense of pride and joy.

I cringed inside. Now, I truly mean no dishonor to a woman who has passed on or to her family, but to be honest, I could not possibly care less if anyone says of me when I die that it was super important to me to have my kids well-dressed, or that I spent a lot of time ensuring it would be so. Sure, it's fun to get kids dressed up. But boy, do I ever hope other things than that spring to mind when my life is summarized in words.

But it got me thinking--what WILL people say of me when I die? What will they say mattered to me? How will they say I spent my time? What will they say burdened me? Broke my heart? Brought me joy?

When I'm remembered, will I be connected with trivial things? Maybe. Gosh, I hope not. But yes--maybe.

I wondered--If the people who know me best are to one day speak to my life and have to capture my life in only a few sentences, what will be said?

I'd be most interested in what Justin, my kids, my family, and my closest friends would have to say. I wish I could hear their unfiltered perceptions of what they perceived to matter to me. And it's not because I think it would all be glowing. It wouldn't! Those closest to me know that, really, truly, the only good in me is God within me, willing me to act according to His good purposes. Apart from His love and mercy, I am one broken girl.

There's just something in me that wishes I could hear it all now, when there's still time to change some things.

If there was time I was spending on something unimportant, I'd want to hear it. And stop.

If there were things I was called to do but never got around to it, I'd want to hear it. And start.

If my words weren't loving enough, I'd want to hear it. And change them.

If my actions didn't line up with what I said was true, I'd want to hear it. And get busy living like I say I believe.

If there were wrongs I didn't make right, I'd want to hear it. And right them.

If my priorities were out of whack, I'd want to hear it. And reevaluate them.

My Grandpa Tom died a year ago today. And I still say that he lived on purpose with his eyes on Heaven more than almost anyone else I've ever known. Do I say it to be nice--even respectful? No. I say it because of all the things I could say about him, it's the thing that jumps out the most about him as the mark of his life. So to sum up the 85-year life span of my grandfather in a nutshell, he loved Jesus and knew he was just passing through this life on his way home to be with Him.

It doesn't matter to me if anyone ever says I dressed cute (Uh, they won't, I promise!) or that I was brilliant or successful (Again, they won't--my SAT score would convince you). I hope I'm remembered to be a loving wife and a mom who cared desperately about leaving a legacy. And in time, give it maybe 50 years after I'm gone, my name won't be remembered anyway. And I'm okay with that. I want this life I've been given to be about lifting up His name. And I hope the Kingdom of God will be advanced in small part through the life He gave me.

When the music fades into the past
When my days of life are through
What will be remembered from where I've come
When all is said and done?

Will they say I loved my family,
That I was a faithful friend?
That I lived to tell of God's own Son
When all is said and done?

Of how I longed to see the hour
When I would hear that trumpet sound
And rise to see my Savior's face,
See Him smile and say, "Well done."

You can forget my name
and the songs I've sung
Every rhyme and every tune
But remember the truth of Jesus' love
When all is said and done.

-GEOFF MOORE - "When All is Said and Done"

* Would you want to pre-hear what will one day be said about you? If you could hear people's unfiltered perceptions of what they believe mattered to you in your life, do you think it would change anything about the way you live?

Teach us to number our days aright,
that we might gain a heart of wisdom.
May the favor of the LORD our God
rest upon us;
establish the work of our hands for us,
yes, establish the work of our hands.
Psalm 90:12, 17

THANKFUL STILL

2011-10-02T15:36:00.019-04:00

Ongoing gratitude.

It's easy to be thankful once. Like, right when something wonderful happens. Right when the vows are being said. Right when the baby lets out its first cry. It's easy to give thanks in those moments.

But then there's ongoing gratitude. The kind of thankfulness that doesn't let up. The kind of gratitude that is just as present on Day 100 as it is on Day One. Rare, perhaps. But really, really important.

I keep thinking about this lately because my daughter is so good at ongoing gratitude, and I want to learn from her. Often when she gets dressed she pauses and says, "Thank you for buying this shirt for me, Mommy. And thank you for getting me these pants." She thanks me for the toys I've given her and the food I've made her. And not just the first time, but often thereafter.

Maybe it's excessive, perhaps it's unnecessary. But it keeps gratitude fresh in her heart, and that's never a bad thing.

Because it's not too difficult to be grateful on your wedding day. That isn't much of a stretch. It's easy to acknowledge the blessing of your spouse when everyone's dressed up in tuxedos and satin. But perhaps it's a lack of ongoing gratitude for one's spouse that is at the root of many a divorce.

And it's easy to be grateful for a newborn child. Before the 1,200th diaper has been changed or the temper tantrums kick in, it's really not too bad! But an absence of ongoing gratitude for our children is what leads us to believe our children are burdens rather than blessings. We begin to forget that we've been entrusted with God-made, glorious people to raise up, and rather we begin seeing them as the ones who stand in the way of _______________ (fill in the blank--More sleep? Fewer stresses? More ME time? 80% less laundry?)

And last but not least, what about an ongoing gratitude that Jesus did for us what we couldn't possibly do for ourselves? How would your day or mine unfold differently if at the front of our minds was the cross of Christ? I can tell you that this very day of mine might have gone differently if my mind was saturated with thoughts of ongoing gratitude for the fact that I have been shown unfathomable mercy and grace. But nope--I was thinking of a million other things today--the least of them, gratitude. And it showed. But after a time of worship, of reminders of what my God has done when I deserved it least, there was gratitude once again. And my mind was clear to know how to rightly act and react once gratitude was restored.

Ongoing gratitude. For our jobs. For our homes. For our food. For our churches. For our families. For our friends. It's ridiculously important. And yes, I am trying my best to learn that from my 3-year old who seems to get it much more readily than I.

Be joyful always, pray continually.
Give thanks in all circumstances,
for this is God's will for you
in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18

THE TIME WILL PASS ANYWAY

2011-09-30T06:22:00.010-04:00

There's an excuse--a pretty common one--that many of us use to not intentionally pursue using the gifts and talents God has given us.

At the Quitter Conference, Ben Arment told a story of a conversation he had with a woman about her longing to use her talents as a nurse. She was 35 and the nursing program would take her about 5 years to complete with her current schedule. "I just don't know about starting up this whole program when I know I will be FORTY by the time those 5 years pass," she reasoned.

And Ben responded, "You'll be forty when those 5 years pass regardless. You might as well be a nurse at the end of them."

And it's true. Here's a woman who believes God has woven into her specific gifts and talents to minister to people through nursing. But her fear of how long things might take to be able to serve in that capacity was lulling her into inaction.

I can be right there, too. Can you? If I can't be at the end of the process fairly quickly, I'm not sure I want to start it. Even if it means doing what God made me to do.

I'll be 35 in a few weeks. That story really resonates with me because even now I am tempted to shove my talents in the ground and walk away (an act that in Scripture was referred to as wicked and lazy--ouch!), all because I know that it may take years to really gain any sort of momentum in doing what I really, really feel called to do. I can see how my fear of how long things might take to be able to serve in this capacity is tempting to lull me into inaction.

Yes, I'll soon be hitting that lovely halfway mark between 30 and 40. And it's hard not to think that by the time I gain any sort of momentum in my ministry, it'll be too late. But something tells me that when we throw out phrases like "Too late," God is up there chuckling about our misunderstanding of time. I wanted to be serving in this capacity a decade ago. And five years ago, I started chomping at the bit. But what if I wasn't ready five years ago? I must not have been. And what if it isn't until I'm 40, or 40+ that God will use me in this capacity? Does that mean I shouldn't even bother walking in that direction now?

Will we be paralyzed from pursuing the calling God has on us, simply because it might take some time? Or will we be obedient to take the daily steps of our calling, no matter how long it may take to see fruit?

Do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the LORD a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.
2 Peter 3:8

Be very careful how you live--not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the LORD is."
Ephesians 5:15-16

Do not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Galatians 6:9

Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will be pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.

Ernest Nightingale

SQUISH

2011-09-27T07:42:00.004-04:00

Last weekend we went apple picking and pumpkin patch-ing, one of our favorite fall traditions. You'd think there would still be plenty of apples the third weekend in September, but it was a little picked-over! After wandering from tree to tree finding nothing, I saw this yellow beauty hanging in a tree. (Happy dance!) I imagined taking the first crunchy, sweet bite as I reached up to pluck the perfect fruit from the tree...
...aaand *SQUISH* ...
My fingers met a mess of goo as they wrapped around the apple. The front side had caught my eye with its seemed perfection. How verdant! How sweet, I imagined.

Nope. How rotten.

So let me ask--What's your *SQUISH* story? We've all got one. What has managed to catch your eye, only to land you a handful of rot? When was the last time you were enticed, only to see something for what it really was once you could see it from another angle?

Maybe it was buyer's remorse. A relationship that was nothing like you thought it would be. A decision made that appeared harmless on the front end, but was anything but.

LORD, give us wisdom to look at things from all sides before we proceed. What looks enticing on the front side may really be rotten--help us to walk in wisdom and approach what appears perfect with caution. Your Word is perfect, Your way is flawless. And the enemy tries to make worthless and dangerous things visually appealing--even perfect. But give us pause and discernment when we find ourselves wanting what we're convinced is without flaw.

The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways,
but the folly of fools is deception.
There is a way that seems right to a man,
but in the end it leads to death.
Proverbs 14: 8, 12

ASSOCIATED

2011-09-26T03:01:00.001-04:00

"You tell on yourself by the friends you choose."

King Jehoshaphat wanted to consult the LORD. He asked his servants to find him a prophet of God. One servant replied, "Elisha is around here--the one who was Elijah's right-hand man."

"Good! A man we can trust!" was Jehoshaphat's response.

And just like that, Elisha was ushered in. And really, Elisha's "in" was his association with Elijah. He was pre-trusted because of his connection to one who was known to be a man of God (2 Kings 3).

What do our associations say about us? And the company we choose to keep--what will others know about us based on those with whom we choose to spend our time?

We've been talking about this with our son lately as he navigates his way through friendships at school. We've said that he is to be kind to all and unkind to no one--but that he can--and should--exercise wisdom in choosing friends with whom he will truly connect himself. We're trying to help him figure out the elementary school version of walking with the wise.

And it's true, isn't it? Right or wrong, people make assumptions about us based on the character of those with whom we choose to surround ourselves. On Twitter when I'm figuring out whether or not to follow someone I don't know, I often look to their associations. Who follows them? Who are they following? There are times I follow because I trust their associations, and times I don't because I don't.

"He who walks with the wise grows wise, but the companion of fools suffers harm" (Proverbs 13:20). Those are two opposite-extremes outcomes! Growing wise because you've chosen to walk alongside those with wisdom--or suffering harm because of associations with those who choose folly. Opposite ends of the spectrum, for sure.

So based on your current friendships, are you destined to grow in wisdom, or to suffer harm? I'm not asking what you'd prefer to happen; We'd all choose to grow in wisdom, hands down. But based on your current connections and associations, can others assume you can be trusted? Can wisdom be your expected outcome?

Or should you anticipate being hit by the shrapnel of folly because you're standing way too close to fools?

SIT AND HAVE A MOMENT

2011-09-23T08:06:00.000-04:00

This morning my son came downstairs into the dark to find me.

"Hey, Mommy?" he whispered.

"I'm here, Trev."

"I was thinking it would be good if, before our day starts, we could just sit and have a moment together."

I beamed. He couldn't see my smile, but I was thrilled he wanted to spend a bit of time with me before the day got underway.

We sat together in the dark, in the quiet of the early morning. We talked about picking out just the right hat for hat day, I told him today was his day to go to health class, and we prayed over the details of his day. That time was pretty simple. But it was really wonderful.

As I had my boy all wrapped up in my arms, I thought of how it pleases our God when we want to spend time with Him before our day gets underway. I pictured His delight in talking through the details of our day, and in our acknowledging Him before we hit the ground running.

He beckons us to a still, quiet moment with Him to order our day, to say "You are my God and I acknowledge this day as Yours" even before breakfast gets made, coffee gets brewed, and before we brave the morning traffic or tackle the day's To-Do List. First things first--sinking into God and declaring the day to be His and for His glory.

I'd forgotten how simple it can be. And how really wonderful.

HIS LEGS, HER HEART

2011-09-23T02:11:00.004-04:00

What part of your children do you love the most? Maybe it's his crater-deep dimples. Perhaps you love her tiny freckles that look like flecks of gold dusted across her nose. Or maybe it's their kissable chubby cheeks.

For me, it's my son's legs and my daughter's heart.

I see the glory of God when I look at my son's legs. When I was 17 weeks pregnant, we went to doctor for our "Boy or Girl?" ultrasound visit. And as the doctor moved the wand back and forth over my growing belly, I saw on the screen a complete leg--femur, bent knee, tibia and fibula. It was so whole and so perfect. My son's entire body was only about 5 inches long in total from head to toe, and he weighed only 5 ounces at that point--Yet there it was. His beautiful, magnificent, glory-covered little leg. He was being knit together inside me--a thought I can hardly fully take in. And so now when I see him run and play soccer and ride his bike, I see those legs and think, "Glory to God."

I love my daughter's heart. It's obviously not something I can see, but sometimes when she hugs me close, I can feel her heart beating. And when I do, I get a glimpse of the glory of God. The sound is like a precious reminder of the way the LORD sustained, and continues to sustain, her life. Her heart beating is what allows us to hold her in our arms and watch her dance and grow and laugh and live. And it's a reminder that the absence of a heartbeat is why we have yet to hold our second son. During our second pregnancy, we had no concerns and took for granted that all would be fine. But a routine ultrasound found no heartbeat. We were devastated. But then came our daughter, our little A.G. With every prenatal appointment, I gratefully drank in the sound of her heartbeat streaming through on the little doppler machine. It was a glorious sound. Truly a GLORY-ous sound. Because even then, our Heavenly Father was fashioning my daughter's heart, strengthening it and enabling it to sustain her life. Glory to God.

You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139:13-17

Father, I love seeing Your glory splashed all over Your creation, but what a gift to see it on my own children. They have been fashioned for the very things of GOD! I'm just amazed at the works of Your hands. I praise You because they are fearfully and wonderfully made, and all I can ask is that his little legs will carry him to do Your work, and that her heart will be full of compassion, burdened for the lost, and consumed with love for You.

TRUSTING IN A PULL DATE

2011-09-22T07:44:00.000-04:00

I've always wondered how they come up with the pull date to stamp on milk cartons. I'm sure there's some scientific way they go about it. Or maybe Jerry Seinfeld is right in his bit about the cows being the ones to tip off the milkers, turning around during the milking and whispering, "This stuff's July 3rd." :)

Either way, I totally buy into it. The milk in my fridge is stamped October 2nd, and I fully believe that milk will be good right up until the 2nd--and probably not a moment after. And standing in my kitchen getting a bowl of cereal ready, I have all the faith in the world in the little date that someone somewhere stamped on the side of my milk carton.

Why then am I less convinced about some of the things I read in the Word of God? Why do I put more stock in the pull date on my milk than in truths like

"The last will be first and the first will be last" (Matthew 20:16). If I really believe this, then there's really no need to worry about my ranking. In anything. I don't need to go first. I don't need to be at the front of the line. I don't have to even be right.

"Honor the LORD with your wealth and with all the firstfruits of your produce; Then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine" (Proverbs 3:9-10). It's right there in my Bible, but do I believe it? Am I totally convinced I can take that truth to the bank--and literally, to my bank account?

"He forgives all your sins--as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us" (Psalm 103:3, 12). Do I believe He's really talking about my sins? All of them? Am I slam-dunk convinced that His mercy is available to the areas in which I need it most?

And not only are we believing Him on the promises in His Word--are we convinced His warnings are certainly worth our heeding? Yep, I'm a believer that the jug of milk in my refrigerator is going to spoil after October 2nd, and am not about to try drinking of it after that point. But are we believing God's warnings that are stamped into the pages of our Bibles?

Do we believe that debt enslaves the borrower to the lender?
That the pursuit of any sort of illegitimate relationship will lead to entrapment?
That nagging is like a constant dripping to those who hear it?
That gossip separates close friends?
That pride precedes a fall?
That he who has the Son has life, but he who does not have the Son does not?

It seems sometimes we treat what we read in God's Word as just words, or even as nice ideas or mere suggestions rather than the definitive authority for our lives. I know I'm guilty of that. But we can take truth to the bank--both promises and warnings. If it's in the Bible, it is a given. It is certain. It is sure.

And it is far more worthy of my trust than some date on the side of a milk carton.

LORD, convince us in a new way of the truth we're encountering in Your Word. You've given it to us and fully intended it to be the last word--the perfect authority--in our lives. Strengthen us to completely trust in what we find on those pages.

DO THE NEXT THING

2011-09-20T08:07:00.000-04:00

Do the next right thing. Do the next obedient thing.

I have been in a searching season. Decisions need to be made. Steps need to be taken...or not. I have sat staring at the ocean, praying for answers. I have stared into the night sky for hours, asking the LORD to make His ways known. I have read my Bible in the quiet of the mornings, hoping to gain understanding.

Step-by-step instructions would've been nice, but they haven't come. In fact, God has been largely silent but for this one thing that He seems to be declaring with a megaphone:

Just do the next right thing. Do the next obedient thing.

And so I'm really evaluating how I'm ALREADY doing with what God has ALREADY placed in my path. I'm coming up short, I tell you. I'm coming face to face with my failures. I need to be more faithful with the very step I'm on. And the next step. And the one after that.

I need to be a better wife. I need to be a better mom. Yes, I'm a good wife and a good mom. But they could have more of me. They could have more of my focus. They could have my attention in undivided form.

That's the next right thing. That's the next obedient thing. Being more mentally present during the kids' bedtime routines, even when I'm suffering from end-of-the-day burnout. Taking time to be still--together. Getting the clean laundry off our dining room table and into drawers. Carving out time with Justin. Streamlining the way I pack my son's lunch to make our mornings more peaceful.

None of those things seem all that spectacular. But they are the next right things. They are the next obedient things. They are the "Whatever you do, do it with all your heart as though you were working for the LORD" things. They are the next immediate, where-the-rubber-meets-the-road things I need to be doing.

And it's more than that. Doing the next obedient thing often means OBEYING the commands that we already know from Scripture.

Like praying for my enemies.
Tithing.
Choosing to forgive.
Encouraging someone.
Confessing sin.
Keeping my words pure.
Hiding God's Word in my heart.
Being honest.
Trusting God. Really trusting Him.

Yes, there are still big-picture decisions that need to be made, still steps that either need to be taken, or not.

But first come the steps I already know I'm supposed to be taking.

He has shown you what is good
and what the LORD requires of you:
To do justly
and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8

* What are YOUR next right things?

ANNOUNCING "COLLIDE"

2011-09-19T09:28:00.000-04:00

I am really excited to share "Collide" with you! This is the new name for this blog. I still have a passion to speak His truth, of course. :) But I love how His truth collides with our day-to-day lives.

Many thanks to the wonderful Amanda over at Royal Daughter Designs for sharing her creativity and gift of design!

JUSTICE FOR YOU, GRACE FOR ME

2011-09-16T20:22:00.000-04:00

Twice today I had the right-of-way out on the road, only to have the other driver go ahead, cut me off, and go speeding off down the road. Twice!

It's not like I laid on the horn in anger or expressed my frustration with interesting hand gestures or anything like that. But I did kind of hope that a cop would be waiting to catch each one of them speeding. Ah, what a little slice of Vindication Pie that would be...

But a few months ago when I got pulled over for speeding, I wanted grace more than anything. And I didn't get it. Unless the word "grace" also means "A big fat traffic violation fine."

What is it in me--maybe in you, too--that wants justice for others but grace for myself? The thing is, I'm not usually like some Pharisee who looks with disdain on the broken or loves to see the guilty squirm. For all my faults, God has allowed me to see others with mercy. But rather than hoping that a couple of selfish drivers get their due while I skate by unpunished, why not pray for the justice and grace of God to prevail as He sees best? Sometimes that means justice for you and grace for me. And sometimes it's the other way around.

LORD, Your way is perfect. Work on my heart so that rather than wanting consequence for others and grace for myself, I'll love Your flawless justice and Your lavish grace, always administered according to Your perfect purposes. You have been so loving to discipline me when it's been necessary, but You have also shown me grace I couldn't even begin to deserve.

And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages He might show the incomparable riches of His grace, expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved through faith--and this is not of yourselves, it is a gift of God--not by works, so that no man can boast.
Ephesians 2:6-9

THE "SOMETIMES" RABBIT OWNER

2011-09-14T10:12:00.000-04:00

I am the proud new owner of a rabbit named Monty.

Well, I'm sometimes his owner, anyway.

This adorable, fuzzy guy spends Monday through Friday hanging out in Justin's classroom as one of his many class pets. Then on the weekends, Monty comes home and stays with us.

So I spend my weekends as a rabbit owner, but there's nothing about my Monday through Friday that indicates I own a rabbit on the weekends.

Once Monday rolls around, there's no cage, no big bag of rabbit food, no floppy-eared critter hopping around our living room. No evidence of what took place over the weekend. You could walk into my house on Wednesday afternoon and have no clue a rabbit was ever there, unless I happen to miss one of his special little "rabbit presents" as I'm cleaning up!

Sometimes I think we can compartmentalize our faith and worship in a similar way. We can raise our hands and feel a lot of compelling emotions as we sing in church, we can feel challenged and encouraged as the pastor delivers his message. We might live one way on a Sunday morning...

...but our Monday through Friday holds little evidence to what took place over the weekend.

It's tough to live a life of authentic worship every day. A typical Monday through Friday demands a lot! And on top of that, attempts to distract, disarm and destroy us are constantly coming at us. No wonder it's a challenge to walk out of the sanctuary on Sunday morning where worship is not just allowed to happen, but it what's supposed to happen--and head into a world that is ambivalent to our lifestyle of worship.

Jon Acuff writes of this in his legendary "Booty, God, Booty" post on Stuff Christians Like. He used to listen to a rap/R&B station on the radio that had something called an "Inspirational Vitamin" each day, which was basically a Bible verse or a gospel song sandwiched between two songs about hot women and gettin' your drink on. He called this the "Booty, God, Booty" formula, and tied this into how we live. And it's true--sometimes we try to wedge a little bit of Jesus in between our other completely-unrelated activities of our day-to-day lives.

But our rest-of-the-week is supposed to match our Sunday. If I am moved by the love and grace of Christ on Sunday morning, then you should be able to tell that if you run into me on a Tuesday afternoon. Even if I'm standing in the checkout line behind the "extreme couponer" with 78 coupons who is trying to get $400 dollars worth of cereal for 34 cents.

And if you are moved toward selflessness as you sit in a church pew, there should be some evidence of that when your Friday night rolls around. Even if you don't get your way. Even if you're worn out. And sometimes even if your husband suggests seeing the latest Transformers movie when you'd rather pluck your eyes out. Don't know where I might've come up with that last one.

We can't compartmentalize our love for Jesus--It is supposed to spill over into every area, every crack and crevice of our lives. Sure, I can be a "sometimes" rabbit owner. But there's no room for me to be a "sometimes" follower of Christ.

What is the area in which you most battle being a "sometimes" follower of Christ?

BLOGGING MOJO

2011-09-14T09:46:00.000-04:00

Into blogging? Here's a must-read book for you:
The very funny Bryan Allain's new book "31 Days to Finding Your Blogging Mojo" comes out today. Last week I finished my review copy, and it was an insightful, practical, hilarious, easy read (I'm known to get a headache when I read things by J. I. Packer or Chaucer, so this was right up my alley).

Broken up into 31 days, each chapter gives a daily assignment to really consider how you can evaluate and improve your blog. I am keeping a journal about my insights and am working through the daily assignments even now. And for a girl like me who loves, loves, loves to laugh, this book delivers excellent information in a laugh-outloud kind of way. Perfect combination!

Here's the worth of reading through a book like this one (and really the bottom line for me): If you are going to take even two minutes of your own valuable time to head over to this blog, I want to have something of value waiting for you here. I don't take that lightly. That's why this book is such a good read--I am excited to improve this blog. I want to be even more intentional as I write. I want to remember those who are reading. And more than anything, I want excellence because it honors God. I have cut out a lot of things to protect my family time, but blogging is one of the things that remains. So I want it to be worth your time to read it--and my time to write it.

So check out "Blogging Mojo." It's available on Amazon.com for $4.99 (e-book format) and is well-worth every penny!

NO EXCEPTIONS

2011-09-08T14:10:00.000-04:00

No exceptions. Whenever I read those words, there's something in me that thinks "Really? No exceptions? What if there are unusual circumstances? What if there's something really outrageous that happens? Really, truly, no exceptions?"

Right. No exceptions.

When we are commanded not to worry, there are NO exceptions to this command.

But what if I am looking at my bank statement and don't know how this stack of bills is going to get paid?

No worrying. No exceptions.

I've been without a job for 8 months.

No worrying. No exceptions.

My child just went off to college in another state.

No worrying. No exceptions.

Probably the MOST common one I've heard is when people think they are justified in their worry over their children. And hey, I've been here myself:

I get to worry over this one. I lost a child to miscarriage before she came along, so she is a miracle to me.

I have to worry over my son. We didn't think we could have children, yet here he is, and I don't want anything to happen to him.

I'm allowed to worry over my daughter. She has respiratory issues that can become severe.

Please understand my heart here--I'm calling out the sin of worry without at all downplaying how precious our kids are to us. I'm not saying we shouldn't take care and be cautious in making sure our children are safe. That's our job!!

But WORRYING IS NOT.

"Do not worry about ANYTHING, but by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6).

Our worry is replaced with the action of praying grateful prayers. Instead of worrying, we're bringing our petitions to the God of all peace--a peace that surpasses our understanding and covers our hearts and minds. It's not doing nothing when we worry. It's doing the best possible thing instead of worrying. And we are able to forego worry because we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (v. 13).

Francis Chan writes in Crazy Love, "Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives. Worry communicates that it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional."

Wow. That paragraph kicked my butt. It even got a rise out of that part of me that always feels the need to question the whole idea of "no exceptions."

But if I'm honest, I have to acknowledge this as a true word! Did God ever say "Trust me in all things. Unless the adoption process takes longer than expected--then feel free to worry away!" or even "Trust me and do not worry. Unless, of course, you have a child with a peanut allergy--that's just way beyond My ability to handle--you get a Free Worry Pass on that one!"?

Is anything too hard for the LORD? Are we justified in our worry over anything?

Trust Him completely. With anything. And everything. And anyone.

No worrying.

No exceptions.

THERE IS NOTHING FOR ME...

2011-09-05T21:36:00.000-04:00

I'm a normal, red-blooded woman in that I'm a total sucker for the song The Way You Look Tonight. It's just one of those lovely songs that gets me every time.

One of my favorite lines in the song is, "There is nothing for me but to love you." And tonight while I was out on an errand, those words kept running through my mind. I was praying, finding myself in a place of total surrender, and realized I'm ruined for all else but trusting God. There is nothing, no one else for me.

There is nothing for me but to love You, LORD.

There is nothing for me but to trust You.

There is nothing for me but to hope in You.

There is nothing for me but to obey You.

There is no real option but for me to put every last ounce of my trust in the One who is totally worthy of it.

Come what may, there is nothing else for me.

Have you found yourself in this place? It's not always an easy place to be, because arriving there usually means you've managed to exhaust a heck of a lot of other options in your own strength.

Nope, not an easy place to be. But a sweet place. A safe place.

And really, the only place.

There is nothing for me but to love You.

SPELL IT OUT FOR ME

2011-09-03T21:53:00.000-04:00

Ever felt like you would willingly walk down whatever path God told you to--if only you could figure out which one it was?

I find myself standing in front of paths. Like, three different paths. The time is approaching for me to start walking down one.

I just don't know which one.

Two paths are safer. One is scary, but holds amazing potential. I keep asking myself, "Does God always call us to the scary path? Sometimes, yes. But always? Like, this time?" Just don't know. I know God has called His followers to many an adventure, to things that required Him to come through. He's called ME to some things that have rocked my world and demonstrated His ability to move mountains. Is this one of these times? Or is it a still-risky-yet-safer path that's meant for me in this particular instance?

I wish I knew.

Because honestly, the "scary" stuff on the "scary" path does not scare me nearly as much as not being where God wants me.

I do not want to run down a road not meant for me. Nor do I want to shrink back in fear and miss the path on which He intends to show Himself faithful. I am far less concerned about how the risky path will work out than I am about missing what God wants me to do.

I wish God would just spell it out for me, but I don't know that I'll look up into the sky and see the answer written in the clouds. I'm just praying. A lot. I'm seeking wisdom in the Word, but am still unclear how it translates to this decision. I doubt my pastor will say from the stage tomorrow, "Hey Thea--pick path #3." But I trust the LORD will speak. I love Him so much. He knows my heart. He will make clear the way for me in whatever way He chooses.

Thank You, Almighty God, for the comfort I find in this:

I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. And you shall seek (baqash * ask, beg, consult, inquire, plead, pursue, search out) me and find (matsa * discover, find, locate) me when you shall search for (darash * question, search carefully, consult, inquire of) me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

* Have you ever wished God would spell it out for you?

SHALLOW SMALL GROUP

2011-09-01T11:31:00.000-04:00

What was your main reason for joining a small group? Were you looking to meet some new friends? Gain some accountability? Make a ginormous church feel a little more personal? Have free chips and killer spinach dip once a week?

Or was it to spur on and be spurred on? To come alongside others and have them come alongside you? To laugh, learn, and yes, "do life" together?

Justin and I got involved with a small group several years ago for all these things. But lately I have been praying over something I wanted to keep private until I have it all figured out. I wanted to be able to give an answer on the back end as to how everything came together.

And then my friend B said something last night at small group, and I realized that my decision to share after the fact made no sense. Why would I not want these amazing people in on the along-the-way process?

I guess I was, in some ways, looking to show up shallow and go home the same way. Maybe I arrived thinking more about catching up over chips and dip than actually being vulnerable. I was excited to see my friends but didn't anticipate sharing. I would have been fine having someone else open up, but I had no plans to do that myself.

But that wasn't in the works. Vulnerability was. And, against my best efforts to conceal it, so was the Ugly Cry (dang it).

I'm not saying small groups should be counseling sessions. Probably shouldn't be, in fact. But opening up is important. Vulnerability is appropriate. Walking the path alongside others is one place where the companionship of God becomes real to us.

I left small group trusting I'm covered in prayer as we make decisions going forward. I went home knowing I'm loved.

I left with a lot more than a belly full of chips and dip.

P.S. Hey O-Siders -- think we can get a trampoline for our small group?

SINCE QUITTER:1-Month Edition

2011-08-29T09:23:00.000-04:00

It's been a month since the Quitter Conference. How has "the rubber met the road" in the past 30 days?

* Did the hustle! Gotta say, that phrase makes me think of a disco ball and a catchy 70's tune. Yep, I hustled at 5am nearly every morning. Actually, my hustle is typically more of a 6am hustle. And every now and then it's a 6:30 one. Okay, it's usually a 6:30 one. But at least I'm up before anyone else and able to work without taking time away from Justin and my babies.

* Wrote 12 (hopefully quality) blog posts.

* Logged ideas on Evernote, which is an awesome free online notebook. Great idea-capturing system!

* Spoke at 2 events, and prepared for each as those it was my one shot ever to communicate truth. Sought not perfection, but excellence as an offering to the God who put those things on my heart in the first place.

* Did the "Reverse Superman" after said events. It was tough--it almost physically hurt to do it. But God! He is faithful and will continue to make a way.

* Used Evernote to make a list of what I've done that I've loved. Eye-opening! The connections were amazing, and when I looked at it all, it was so evident that God has been weaving this calling throughout my life in the coolest ways!

* Tutored 5 times a week and sought excellence in every session. If I can't be faithful in this, why should I ask God for more?

* Scheduled reminders to be sent to me via Future Me. Come to think of it, one of my "Future Me" emails should be arriving within a few days to kick me in the butt. Looking forward to it.

* Set a "fake deadline." As of Saturday afternoon, there's nothing on the books for which to prepare. But I've set up a pretend deadline for preparing another teaching, as though I'll have an opportunity to share it.

* CRIED! Seriously. I won't lie, this month has been hard! To hustle every single day and not necessarily see any measurable impact? Pretty tough. But it's also been drenched in peace. I know I am being a faithful steward of the gifts, passions, talents and words God has given.

* Revived my Twitter account and am trying to figure it all out. I am soaking up what others have to offer. Pretty incredible insights, encouragement, and hilarious commentaries!

* Sought to encourage other Quitter Conference Alumni. Awesome community!

* Began to pray toward the possibility of Dream Year, She Speaks Conference, another Quitter Conference...What's next? Who knows. Some of the possibilities are terrifying in the best possible way, because they would be tremendously faith-stretching, but we don't know if they're necessarily ones for me to pursue. So we're praying.

* Spoken Galatians 6:9--aloud--on a number of occasions. "Do not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

* Did NOT hustle on Sundays. I very intentionally took a day of rest. Sure, I could work 7 days a week. But I am trusting God to make 6 days of "hustle" stretch to cover a 7-day week.

Up next: More hustle. A time audit (which never happened this month). And I also want to make a list of what I've done that I have NOT loved, because I think it will be every bit as insightful as listing what I've done that I HAVE loved. Also: I need some shower crayons. I actually did have some great ideas in the shower but forgot them by the time I lathered, rinsed, and repeated. Needed some shower crayons to write them down so I wouldn't forget them! Does Evernote make a shower edition???

So that's where I am! Any Quitter Conference buddies out there? How has the past month "since Quitter" looked for you?

BECAUSE OF TOMORROW, WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN TODAY?

2011-08-25T06:06:00.000-04:00

Given the second half of this sentence, how would you fill in this blank?

"____________ , for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you."

If you knew with 100% certainty that God was getting ready to do AMAZING things among you, what would you do today?

Would you pray?
Would you prepare?
Would you posture your heart accordingly?

Joshua knew God was about to move--that He was gearing up to do "amazing things" which in the Hebrew language meant that God was about to

do wonders
do monstrous things (love that!)
do things too difficult
do things that seemed hard
do miracles

And so he said, "________________, for tomorrow the LORD is going to (do wonders, do monstrous things, do things too difficult, do things that seemed hard, do miracles) amazing things among you."

So in light of all that comes after that blank, what should fill it in?

"CONSECRATE YOURSELVES."

Dedicate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD is going to do amazing things among you.
Set yourselves apart, for tomorrow the LORD is going to do amazing things among you.
Keep yourselves clean, for tomorrow the LORD is going to do amazing things among you.
Purify yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD is going to do amazing things among you.
And my favorite: Manifest His holiness, for tomorrow the LORD is going to do amazing things among you.

Because tomorrow the LORD is going to do wondrous miracles among us, because He is going to do things that seemed to difficult and too hard among us, because He is going to do monstrous things among us (Hallelujah!), that means today is the day of consecration. It means now is the time of setting ourselves apart, cleaning and purifying our hearts. It means this is the day of dedication.

In light of what God is going to do tomorrow, what are we going to do today?
What needs to look different than it does? What time needs to be spent, what words need to be said, what things need to be fled?

APPLAUSE FOR STAYING

2011-08-23T03:10:00.000-04:00

I was a loyal customer of Dish Network for 7 years. But my relationship with them didn't really get much attention from them until it ended.

Same with Georgia Natural Gas. And Sprint. And BJ's Wholesale Club. And Progressive Auto Insurance.

The moment I'd moved on to I-can-get-a-better-deal-elsewhere greener pastures, I was suddenly their valued customer with whom they wanted to reunite.

But I never really got much applause for staying, or for my commitment of several years.

Take a look at any array of magazines at the check-out line. The fanfare and attention begins when a marriage disintegrates--not when it goes the distance.

I think there should be fanfare for staying.

70 years ago today, my grandparents married and started a lifetime of love--a rich legacy for their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. They had nearly 65 years together as husband and wife; My sweet, sweet grandpa passed away on July 4, 2006. They were the most tremendously precious and in-love couple I've ever known. But since the stayers seem to garnish far less attention, and the ones who go the distance sometimes seem to fly under the radar, I just want to take a moment to applaud their life and celebrate their staying. The fruit of their life together was something that many of us continue to enjoy today. We walk in our inheritance of love and faithfulness because they stayed.

Love--and applause--for my sweet Nana, and for my grandpa, who I know is waiting to cup my face in his hands again one day in Heaven.

A TITHE OF TIME

2011-08-19T04:08:00.000-04:00

"I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer." ~Martin Luther

Okay, that's math that just doesn't make sense.

Or does it?

I've been preparing for an event that's coming up tonight. I've gotten up early, stayed up late, and given it my all.

But by Wednesday afternoon of this week, I was still feeling anxious and overwhelmed, so I opted out of small group time to get in a solid two hours of preparation. I knew that meant I could run through my teaching four times and feel well-prepared.

But my heart needed preparation more than my mind. I knew it. And so with a two-hour block available to me, I spent almost the entire first hour not practicing. I was, however, preparing in the most important way:

I worshipped. I opened up my Bible. I prayed.

And then I practiced. And something in me knew God was stretching those two run-throughs much further than I could have made four run-throughs stretch.

Maybe when we think of tithing, our mind immediately goes to offerings of money. What about offerings of time? Even on our busiest days, what else should beckon us more than the preparation of our hearts? It seems counterintuitive, but what if sitting at the feet of Jesus is the single most productive thing you could do all day?

I know this passage in Malachi is probably talking about money--but what if we considered these "tithes and offerings" mentioned as offerings of time? Read this through with TIME in mind:

"Will a man rob God? Yet you rob Me. But you ask, 'How do we rob You?' In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse--the whole nation of you--because you are robbing Me. Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. 'Test me in this,' says the LORD Almighty, 'and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops and the vines of your fields will not cast off their fruit,' says the LORD Almighty. 'Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land," says the LORD Almighty."

Malachi 3:7-11

What if the blessing is fruit that comes from time spent worshipping, praying, and consuming the Word of God? What if God preventing pests from devouring our crops is a picture of Him protecting our time for the remainder of the day? What if we are called blessed and dwell in a delightful land because we offered up the first of our day to Him?

LORD, a tithe of time is a tough offering, mainly because we've gotten too busy. But we know You operate under a totally different economy. Remind us that You can make 23 hours of our day stretch way further than we could possibly stretch all 24 on our own. We can SAFELY offer up to You the first fruit of our day and trust You for the outcome.

READY OR NOT...

2011-08-14T01:36:00.000-04:00

"I'm not ready," I said wide-eyed to the woman who was about to draw blood. I'd managed to make it to age 10 before ever having to give up any of the precious red stuff flowing through my veins.

I told her I needed to lie down first.

And then that I thought I'd do better sitting up.

Or....maybe we should try the whole lying-down again.

"She's ready," my stepmom finally insisted. Crying, flailing, and a lot of drama ensued. And at the end of it all, the vilest of nurses held a vial of my blood.

I don't know that I would've ever been "ready" for that.

Twenty years later, I was "Not ready" again. It was January 1st, and my maternity leave was ending. The following day, January 2nd, the day I'd known was coming, I would return to work after being home for my son's first three months. It felt really, really not right to not be home with him. I remember that night so vividly: I rocked him, nursed him, placed him in the bassinet and then climbed into bed and sobbed like I hadn't before, nor since, as an adult. And the next morning, God was good; He strengthened me and there were mercies for the work I was called to finish. But four months later when I received a job contract for the following year, I didn't sign it. I came home, and have been home ever since.

But I'm here again in this heart-rending place called "Not ready." And this time it's August 15th that draws near--the day I've known for a while now would be another "Not ready" day. That's the day when I will begin really, really sharing my son with a world that I'm praying will receive him with grace. It's the day when he will enter an environment that might not welcome the truth we've sown into him. It's the day when I pray he finds favor with those outside our family and group of friends. It's the day I hope he will encounter people who see great worth in the way God has uniquely made him. It's the day when I'll hope we prepared him sufficiently with truth, manners, compassion, more truth, and even a bit of knowledge.

I really don't feel ready. But I don't know that I could find a date on any calendar that I finally would feel ready. I want more time, more chances, more opportunities, more laughs, more talks--more battles, even! I came home to be home with him. My heart hurts knowing that a chapter of that is coming to a close.

I'm not ready. But ready or not, here it comes.

God, You are my Abba Father, my Daddy. Not only do you fully understand what my heart feels now, but the great measure of love I feel for that boy is so small compared to the love You have for Him, and that gives me great peace. I do not want to worry--I am commanded to trust You and so I am needing You to strengthen me to trust You. He will be out from under our protection more than he ever has been, but I KNOW he will never be out from under Yours. You have given him a desire for people to come to know Jesus as their Savior, so although that truth may be unwelcome, I know You have placed light in dark places. Let his light shine so that people may see his good works and praise his Father in Heaven. Please use that boy for Your glory! Please let all the seeds of truth take root in him! Please let his life bear lots of fruit--the kind that lasts! Please protect his body, protect his heart, and protect him from any who would even consider doing him harm. Cover his steps with peace, and lend weight to what He does in Your name! Thank You for creating him and for entrusting him to us. The only fitting thing is for us to offer him back up to You.

DOGGY BAGS

2011-08-10T02:13:00.000-04:00

This week I read a "Miss Manners" letter written by a woman fed up with her in-laws for coming over for dinner, and then asking for a large helping of what was served to take home to their dog. Not table scraps, mind you, but a Tupperware-sized helping of the good stuff. As in, "Can we please have a slab of that prime rib to take home to our pooch?" type of thing.

I can see why the woman was upset. I love my dog, too--but Jack gets regular old dog food, or an occasional table scrap. We're not tossing him lobster tails or filling his bowl with caviar. It just seems like there's something a little off about taking home the richest of fare for the family pet.

But there's something more than a little off about throwing table scraps to a far worthier God.

Reading this letter in the paper was timely because I recently finished reading the chapter in Crazy Love entitled "Serving Leftovers to a Holy God" -- a chapter that has really challenged me to consider the ways in which I'm insisting on bringing the best to the LORD, and the ways in which I'm tossing Him a few table scraps now and then. And it's been a humbling little exercise.

Even as I've entered/tagged/organized clothes for a consignment sale (from which I will profit) this week, I've found myself thinking, "Whatever doesn't sell can go to the Clothesline event at the church." Ugh--it hurts my heart just to type these words because I hate that I thought them! Yes, the money I earn from the sale will go to buy the next round of clothes for my children--nothing wrong with that. But there's something about that thought process that just screams "You are planning to give the lesser things. You're planning to give the leftovers."

This week has felt overwhelming, time-wise. If I can just get through the next 9 days, I'm golden. But it has also really challenged the amount of time I have sat down strictly to worship and spend time with God. 3 minutes reading a Psalm just doesn't cut it for me anymore, but that's what the past week has been like. And it bothers me to my core that out of a 24-hour day, He's getting like 3 minutes of my undivided attention. That's unacceptable. It's like tossing Him table scraps.

It's also this way when we look at how much money we expect to have left over at the end of the month before writing out the tithe check. But in Malachi you never hear God say He anything about "leftovers." Instead, He uses the word "firstfruits."

I think sometimes the concept of "firstfruits" is a little too foreign to us. We give out of our excess--whatever remains at the end of what we ourselves have consumed is what we're willing to share. But that's not especially impressive to a watching God:

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in their large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny.
Jesus called His disciples to Him and said, "I tell you the truth, this poor woman has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of her wealth, but she, out of her poverty, put in everything--all she had to live on."
Mark 12:41-44

LORD, I am convicted when I consider some of the ways in which I'm tossing You a bone just to appease my guilt rather than bringing the very best to You because I am so in love with You. Please give me a deep, insatiable love for You that compels me to bring my very best to You--time, talents, offerings, all of it. Forgive me for all the times You've gotten my leftovers.

* In what ways are you currently experiencing the battle between firstfruits and leftovers?

COUNTERINTUITIVE

2011-08-07T11:36:00.000-04:00

Yesterday we were at a birthday party where our friend Scott was introduced to the children's toy known as Chinese Finger Locks.

He put his fingers in, and a look of surprise spread across his face when he realized he really, really couldn't get them out.

"You have to push in!" we told him through our laughter. He looked a little bewildered that we were advising him to push his fingers in even further when it seemed there was already a death-grip on his pointer fingers.

Pulling out even harder would make a lot more sense. Pushing in surely seemed counterintuitive. But although our advice didn't seem right, he tried it--and it actually worked.

I feel like the God I serve says some pretty counterintuitive things in His Word. He said He could make 90% of our income stretch way better than we could stretch 100%. He said that the least on earth would be the greatest in the Kingdom of God. He said we should love our enemies, pray for those who persecute us, and go an additional mile with someone who demands we walk a mile with them. He said the woman who had only a few pennies but gave them all had given far more than the wealthy who seemingly gave more. He said he wasn't nearly as interested in what was seen as He was with what is unseen. He said we shouldn't bother storing up treasures in a place where we may potentially live 90 or even 100 years. He said not to worry about your next meal. He said to seek His Kingdom before any other earthly pursuit.

To people who live in a culture that finds these commands highly counterintuitive, these words just don't make a lot of sense. And so often people find themselves just pull, pull, pulling even harder.

But oddly enough, His words work. Every time. 100% of the time. All the time. Strange as they sound, they work.

Are you struggling with any of God's commands in the belief that they are counterintuitive? Do you find yourself pulling harder to make it work, or are you pushing into Him?

* Special thanks to Scott for letting me share his Chinese Finger Locks fiasco!

IF YOU ONLY HAD SIX WORDS

2011-08-07T00:11:00.000-04:00

My dad is a published author. I'm glad at least one of us is!

He was one of the contributors on a book called "It All Changed in an Instant," a book all about "six word memoirs." Basically, people sent in their six words that most succinctly summed up their lives, or a major part of it. And they had to encapsulate their experiences in no more than six words:

"Found tumor. Removed kidney. Turned four."

"Unplanned, but perfect: Heather, Hannah, Haley."

"Hated seventh grade. Now teaching it."

"The Fruit Loop among the Cheerios."

"Dealt bad cards. Played them well."

"Goth girl. White dog. Lint roller."

"Learned more from poverty than wealth."

"I saw the Red Sox win."

"Wish I could bubblewrap my son."

"Author of so many unwritten books."

"I'm more Clark Kent than Superman." *That one's my dad's. :)

So if you only had six words, what would yours say?

"Found a husband 3,000 miles away."

"Childhood full of love and laughter."

"Still get giggles with best friend."

"Lost a son. Gained a daughter."

"Almost wrecked my life. BUT GOD."

"My life is marked with redemption."

"Justin. Trev. Ailey. Each worth wait."

"Want to make much of God."

Your turn. You've got six words. Go!

WHERE I WAS WHEN THE THUNDER BOOMED

2011-08-04T03:16:00.002-04:00

3:09am. A huge clap of thunder boomed, jarring my babies out of their sleep.

And my hands were on their heads when it happened.

I happened to be in their room praying over them in that very moment. The heavy rains woke me, and when I wake in the night, my go-to place is their room to put my hands on their heads and pray, pray, pray.

And then suddenly, *BOOM.* They both sat up quickly, looking terrified. But they seemed comforted that I was already right there.

Because usually I'm down the hall, asleep in my own bed. That's the norm. They'll call for me, and I'll book it down the hall to get to them. But I'm not typically already right there, with my hands on their heads.

And I think it's also where we assume God is when a storm hits--down some hall, until summoned. Sometimes it feels like when things fall apart, we think we need to call for Him, disturbing His slumber while He rushes down the hall to tend to us. Oh, maybe we believe He'll come running--but we think He has to, because we think He's elsewhere when we call.

But what if we believed in the presence of God? What kind of peace could we have if we recognized that His hand is on us before the storm even hits? What if we knew for sure that He is near, not only when we call out for Him, but even before we do?

By the time we hear the boom of thunder, He has already has His loving hands on us.

The LORD is near to all who call on Him,

to all who call on Him in truth.

Psalm 145:18

DEAR "FUTURE YOU,"

2011-08-03T05:15:00.000-04:00

Have you ever wanted to be able to send yourself an email in the future? Now you can. How cool is that?

Recently I heard about a site called futureme.org that will send you an email you write to yourself. And you choose the delivery date--it can be a week out, a month out, a year out, twenty years out! And what I love (love, love) about it is that I have not received one spam-ish email from them at all. You don't have to sign up or provide info or anything, other than providing the address to which the email should be sent. It's a pet peeve of mine to sign up for something online and then get a lot of emails I do not want, so this is a big deal to me!

And so I'm using it to speak truth to the Future Thea Nelson--The girl who in a month will be tempted to let up on using what God has given her, and will need Galatians 6:9 to kick her in the butt. The girl who in 3 months might forget who she is in Christ, and why that should affect her day-to-day. The girl who in 6 months might forget the worth of spending time with God daily. The girl who in a year might have forgotten the pit from which she has been freed, and how bad it was in there, and how sweet freedom is in Christ.

Yes, I sent myself each of these.

So what truth does the Future You need to read? That you've made a commitment that time was never intended to dissolve? That the days of bringing up children may be trying, but are more than worth it in terms of long-term Kingdom impact? That those words you're tempted to believe again are simply lies you need to refuse? That the mountain-top high you experienced may not be your day-to-day but was still absolutely real, and worth remembering? That all these sacrifices in the name of debt reduction will be worth it, and not to give up? That the job the Future You holds is an answer to prayer and a provision from God?

Does the Future You need a challenge?
A word of hope?
A reminder of truth?

Go over to futureme.org and speak some truth to the Future You. The "3-Weeks-From-Now" You or the "5-Months From Now" You or the "One-Year-From-Now" You will thank you for it! :)

I DON'T WISH I HAD BARBIE LEGS

2011-08-01T07:03:00.000-04:00

"Do not lock your knees," our wedding coordinator told our wedding party at the rehearsal. And again the morning of the wedding. And again just before the ceremony.

She'd seen too many bridesmaids and groomsmen topple over from keeping their knees locked.

The key is to keep a slight bend in your knees. Basically, have the opposite of Barbie legs.

Have you ever tried to stand a Barbie up? She falls right over. Sure, her legs look a whole lot cuter in her little sundresses than mine do. But no worries--I've got a huge one-up on her:

My knees can bend. And bending knees keep you from falling.

When I think of people who are too clothed in pride to say they are sorry, I picture Barbie legs. When I see someone refuse to make the first move toward reconciliation, I picture Barbie legs. When I encounter a person who digs his heels in, or who doesn't seem to think she needs to do anything to bend or grow, I picture Barbie legs.

Because on the surface, they may look great. But their destiny is a fall.

Are you in a situation where you're both wrong and you're both right, but you're only able to see your rightness and their wrongness? When was the last time you apologized to someone when it was due? Have you ever been described as stubborn?

We can hold on and not give an inch, and we may look great for doing so; others may even applaud our tenacity. We can refuse someone a "sorry" that's due, and give off the perception that if we didn't admit fault, we must be innocent. We can refuse to go first, because we think that's what weak people will do.

And with those unbending knees, you might just look great. But if looking awesome in your unbending Barbie legs is your pursuit, then standing tall is not your destiny. A fall is your destiny.

Pride precedes disaster, and an arrogant attitude precedes a fall.
Proverbs 16:18

Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility precedes honor.

Proverbs 18:12

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Proverbs 11:2

A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.

Proverbs 29:23

So forget having perfect-looking Barbie legs. Go first. Admit fault. Say the "sorry." Make the first move. Bend your knee in humility. You won't look small for doing so.

You'll look small if you don't.

QUITTER

2011-07-31T07:04:00.000-04:00

I'm a quitter.
Yesterday I attended a conference in Nashville that ended up being some of the best, most insightful, God-honoring, hilarious 8 hours I've spent: The Quitter Conference. Jon Acuff (of the hilarious "Stuff Christians Like" fame) wrote "Quitter" -- his book about having 8 jobs in 8 years and being the perpetual quitter because of the tension between what he was doing, and what he was hungry to do with the gifts and talents God had given him.
But in the sea of all that quitting, he began to glean some insight. He realized that when you're waiting to do what you really, really feel called to do, you don't have to see your current circumstances as prisons from which to escape. They can be platforms from which to jump. And you can--and should--hustle while you're waiting. He talked about how to pursue a calling while honoring God, your spouse, your family, even your current employer.

One of his excellent insights--and one worth sharing--is the idea that "discovering" what you really want to do isn't so much an act of discovery, like some a-ha/lightbulb/walking-down-the-street-and-I-suddenly-realize-I-was-meant-to-be-a-beekeeper moment, but rather an act of recovery. So rather than the overwhelming "What do I want to do with my life?" question, we can start to ask, "What have I done that I've loved?"

I am passionate about being a wife and mom and communicator of truth. My heart longs to be the wife Justin deserves, and the mom who makes much of Jesus in such a way that it's real for my kids. And if being a wife and mom was all there was to my life, I know I would never look back and say, "That's all there was to my life?" This part alone is so precious, so real, and it matters so much. I'm passionate too about speaking truth in a way that brings clarity and stickiness to the truth of God's word. Getting to do so makes me feel like I am really using all God has given me, kind of like someone who had spent their life in a wheelchair dreaming to walk, and then one day getting to stand and take steps. It would feel like, for once, they were getting to use all of the parts God had given them. That is what I feel like when I write and speak. The amazing thing is that what I am doing right now IS connected to what I want to do long term. I am a tutor, and I use all my gifts to make information clear and memorable to students. What a blessing to have the awesome privilege of serving my tutoring students while practicing making it clear and making it stick for all God has in store for the future. Awesome! All I'm saying is that what you're doing right this moment probably does have tie-ins to your future dreams, even if you've never yet been able to make those connections. I love how our God is a tie-it-all-together God; There's peace in knowing that none of this waiting time is wasted time.

God has woven these longings and gifts into you and to me to use for His glory. It's about choosing to be a faithful steward of these things by using them, and giving them back to Him as an offering.

But it's more than just a "do what you love" thing. It's an obedience thing to use what God has given you to use! For a long time I've been compelled by the story of the talents in the gospels. Jesus told of a man who entrusted talents to three of his servants. When the master returned, two had used them and had returns on their investments. The third buried his talent. And his master did not take that lightly.

This parable compels me to write teachings before I'm booked to speak. It compels me to write blog posts even when I wonder if it matters. It compels me to pray for favor and opportunities, and for the diligence to pray and prepare in the meantime. It's what I can do now. I can't speak before I'm asked--but I can get ready. And I really feel called to get ready.

Why would we not, and how dare we not intentionally consider how God has so wonderfully and purposefully made us? Imagine Him fashioning and forming you in your mother's womb with great intentionality and purpose. He did so that you might use those things to point to Him. If you love photography, why not use that talent? If you love writing, why not write in response to the gift He's given you to do so? If He has gifted you to teach, why not teach?

Consider your life as it is right now. Are you doing what makes you feel like you're getting to use all of you? If your current job situation is not in line with the gifts and passions God has given you, by no means should you turn in your 2-week notice tomorrow. But you should--today--consider making individual actions and taking individual steps to prepare you for when God calls you out. Our days are numbered. Why not live them using our talents?

I'm a quitter, too--a quitter of an ordinary life void of the use of my God-given passions and talents. And I think this sign I saw in the snack room yesterday really summed up why:

So what would YOU do? If the bills didn't have to get paid (and yes, they do have to get paid), what would you want to do? Would you still do what you're currently doing?

NEGLECT

2011-07-26T20:45:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I had 7 root canals.

Oh, wait--no. It just felt like I had 7 root canals. Because apparently a deep tooth cleaning following a 10-year hiatus from the dentist also feels as though you're delivering a baby, sans epidural, out of each one of your tooth sockets.

On the way home I stopped by Chick-fil-A to order the one thing I could eat--a "Sawberry Mipshape" (That's the only way I could say it after the gallon of Novocaine they injected into me). As I drove home, attempting to drink my "mipshape" through my half-numb lips, I couldn't help considering this one truth:

NEGLECT ACCUMULATES. And eventually having to deal with the accumulation is really painful.

There was no reason for me to have to go through the horrendous procedure I endured yesterday. Normal people who aren't ten-steps-beyond-terrified of the dentist usually go in every six months and get their teeth polished, collect their free toothbrush and floss, and are on their way.

Oh, but not me. I have severe dental phobia and decided to let things go for a solid decade. I went with the "Have someone scrape the ever-loving heck out of your teeth" plan. I took the "You'll need nine (yes, NINE!) shots of novocaine just to be able to survive this" route.

Why??? It didn't have to be this way.

But neglect accumulates.

Neglect your marriage for a day or a week? Probably no biggie. But neglect your marriage for any sort of a stretch of time, and you'll find yourself having terrible, tearful conversations and working tirelessly to rebuild trust and put the pieces back together.

Neglect your children for weeks and months, and you'll wonder a decade from now why they have no interest in really opening up to you.

Neglecting housework. Neglecting family relationships. Neglecting work responsibilities. Neglecting our health. Over time the neglect accumulates and it all eventually catches up, and the fall-out isn't easy to deal with.

Then there's neglecting your relationship with God. Neglecting His Word. You probably won't notice any trouble with this at first, but neglecting His will over time is to practically invite the painful consequences you'll face.

The price to be paid for neglect is painfully high. I will say it again--The price to be paid for neglect is painfully high!

What area of your life needs your attention--right now? Consider that one area. Pray over the part you've been neglecting. Maybe it will be painful to recover what has fallen through the cracks, to make that phone call, to spend that time that needs to be spent, to get up for that workout, or to make that appointment.

"You can't cram for a great marriage. You can't cram for a relationship with your kids," Andy Stanley said. It's true. There are certain things that simply have to be maintained a little bit over time. If I had spent every moment of the day leading up to my appointment incessantly brushing and flossing to try to compensate for not going to the dentist for the last 10 years, it wouldn't have helped. I had let things go for far too long.

Why do we live as though we can neglect the critical areas of our lives--and then cram to make it all up?

Father, You want us to be diligent and attentive, not lazy and neglectful, with what You've entrusted to us. And it's for a reason: The fallout is too great, and the price is too high. And You want to keep us from having to deal with the consequences that come with neglect! Let Your Holy Spirit speak to us, right now, about the areas we're neglecting. Show us, day in and day out, what it looks like to deal with what we've neglected, and to begin being busy about the things that really matter. Amen.

LOOKS READY TO ME

2011-07-23T22:42:00.001-04:00

Last week I attempted to roast a whole chicken for the first time ever. I'm a decent cook, but somehow the ability (or courage) to cook an entire chicken has always eluded me.

So I made a lemon-thyme chicken and hoped for the best. The oven timer beeped, and I couldn't wait to see how it had turned out. I pulled a delicious-smelling, beautifully golden chicken out of the oven. It looked great, but having zero whole-chicken experience, I knew I needed some expertise on this one. I asked Justin if it looked ready. He wiggled its legs and poked at it a bit and said, "Looks ready to me."

So we sat down to our dinner table, ready for a taste. But after a few slices into the bird, Justin furrowed his brow and said, "I think it needs a few more minutes in the oven." In Justin's defense, it really did look ready--in fact, I couldn't believe I had cooked a chicken that looked so downright Martha Stewart-y! But I hoisted the chicken back into the roasting pan and popped it back into the oven. It was a bit of a let-down, especially since we went through this scenario like three more times before we actually got to eat the thing, and by then we had filled up on broccoli salad and mashed potatoes!

As ready as the chicken appeared to be from an outside assessment, it wasn't really ready for us to enjoy. And I'd venture to say that some of the awesome, glorious, good things God has in store for us are still cooking right now.

Even David was anointed, consecrated, set apart, chosen by God to be King--and then things kind of came to a halt. At least from a circumstantial standpoint, the way it all went down seemed kind of--well, anticlimactic!

The LORD revealed to Samuel that David would one day be King, so Samuel anointed David with oil, and the Spirit of the LORD came upon David in power. No small things! Can you imagine?

Aaaand then right after that, he was right back to tending sheep, working as an armor-bearer, playing harp for Saul, and delivering lunch to his brothers. Riveting stuff--especially after the high of being chosen and anointed to reign as King.

Yes, he was still the anointed one, set apart for God's purposes. But it wasn't yet time for the big-guns stuff of taking down Goliath or wearing a King's crown. He was just hanging with the sheep, playing the harp, and running errands. The ordinary stuff of his life.

You'd think that he would've been ready at the moment he was anointed. You'd assume it would be full-steam ahead from the moment they poured that oil over him.

But as ready as things may have looked at that anointing ceremony, it wasn't time quite yet for God's call on David's life to be on display. But God was busy displaying HIS power to David. As a shepherd, David had to defend his sheep (and himself!) against lions and bears, and He saw God as His deliverer in every one of those instances.

And then when Goliath finally did enter the picture--even more waiting!--the giant showed up for forty days, taunting and tormenting the Israelites, before the big David vs. Goliath event went down.

And when it finally did, David was READY. God had readied David. And it was the God he had come to know as his Deliverer while doing the menial task of tending sheep whom David trusted when he needed a Deliverer once again:

"The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine, Goliath," David proclaimed (1 Samuel 17:37).

In this life we go from glory to glory and strength to strength, and it can be a bit of a letdown to get a taste of glory and then have to return to the unspectacular stuff of life while we wait for the next glory, the next strength. During these in-between, pre-ready seasons some of us are in right now, I believe God is currently revealing to us all we need to know about Him. And I also believe that what we come to know of Him in these days of waiting are the very things we will need to know about Him for our victory when we really are ready. We will be able to refer back to what He made known to us about Himself in these watching-sheep, delivering-lunches, uneventful days, and KNOW who is with us when it's time to go forward.

The things God has us up to now may seem mundane, even disconnected from what we believe to be the call on our lives. But isn't it interesting that a man who held the unimpressive job of shepherding a flock would one day shepherd the hearts of people when he reigned as King?

Maybe you think you're ready. Maybe you're getting close--maybe not. But we can trust God to show us who He is along the road to readiness.

COMMUNICATION IS KEY - The Blog

2011-07-23T22:33:00.000-04:00

Recently my friend Jill thought it would be interesting to send out one verse a week to a handful of women, and ask them to write what God had communicated to them through that verse throughout the week. It's been really cool to see how our personal-relationship God communicates His living word in both similar and unique ways to His children!

Check it out at Communication is Key For Us --

Enjoy!

MARRIAGE AND WORSHIP

2011-07-21T07:01:00.000-04:00

A few years ago I was driving through Atlanta, singing along to this song that has always made me think of my husband:

Something brought you to my mind today

I thought about the funny ways you make me laugh

and yet I feel like it's okay to cry with you

There's something about just being with you

that when I leave I feel like I've been near God

and that's the way it oughtta be

You've been more than a friend to me,

you've fought off my enemies

and you have spoken truth over my life

and you'll never know what it means to me
just to know you've been on your knees for me

Oh, you've blessed my life more than you'll ever know.*

And as I drove along I realized I had lifted my hand up like I sometimes do when I am caught up in worship. I hadn't realized what I was doing, but before I knew it, my hand was lifted up. "Well, that's odd," I thought as I dropped my hand down and kept driving.

But the more I thought about it, the more a connection between marriage and worship isn't really too far a stretch. Because a marriage living out as God intended really is a sacrifice of worship to our God. And it's not only that, but also a picture to a watching world of the love between Christ and the church.

LORD, thank You for these ten years as Justin's wife. You know where I've done well as a wife and You know where I've fallen short. You know how you've used Justin to buff out rough edges, to speak truth, and to show me love and grace as You've done. When I think of what I thought I'd have for my life, it makes me shudder. I'm grateful that what I thought I wanted wasn't all there was. Instead, what You held in store has far surpassed my grandest hopes and dreams, even when I thought I was dreaming big. Please bless Justin with great measure for the love he has shown me.

Mr. and Mrs. Justin Nelson * July 21, 2001

*"More Than You'll Ever Know" (Watermark)

WHEN YOU DON'T GET THE "FEAR" MEMO

2011-07-20T04:35:00.000-04:00

What would you do if you didn't know you were supposed to be afraid?

My little girl is a daredevil. She's this tiny, fearless, jump-in-with-both-feet, do-crazy-stunts-without-batting-an-eyelash kind of girl. And she's always been this way! She wasn't even a year old when she started climbing this horse and not just riding, but standing up on the back of the horse like she was riding in the Kentucky Derby! She'd bounce along enthusiastically as though gravity somehow didn't apply to her.

Meanwhile, we were terrified! We kept taking her down off the horse, until about 20 times later we finally realized she was fine. I mean, really fine. She had this super-tenacious hold on the horse and just bounced away, grinning from ear to ear. Sure, we put pillows on the floor all around the horse, but not one time did she fall. She didn't even waver, that I ever saw--and believe me, I watched her like a hawk.

I think maybe this tendency to be totally unwavering was there because she was not afraid. Not at all. I don't even think she realized she should be! It's like she never got the "fear" memo. And without fear on the table, she rode with joy and abandon. It was amazing to see.

For us as followers of Jesus Christ, it goes beyond not realizing you should be afraid, like a tiny 11-month old should be when they're riding a horse standing up.

We are commanded not to fear.

When we live to pursue the Kingdom of God, we are not supposed to be afraid, and are in fact commanded not to be. As we invest and build and speak and minister to others and wait upon Him, we are not to have a spirit of timidity, but the one of boldness we've been given in His name. And when we really get onboard with this idea, that's when we can ride without the fear of falling.

It's a family peacefully waiting for the provision of a job.

It's a couple who leaves their comfort zone to go minister to people half a world away.

It's writing the tithe check when money is already tight.

When we're called to do the things of God, we are enabled--by God--to do the things of God.

So pretend you never got the "fear" memo; It's not from God, anyway. Act like gravity doesn't apply to you. Ride with abandon.

So rather than asking what you would do if you didn't know you were supposed to be afraid...

What will you do since you know you are not supposed to be afraid?

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

JOSHUA 1:9

THE PRODIGAL PATIENT

2011-07-19T04:55:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago I went to the dentist for a cleaning. For the first time in--Well, let's just say I've missed the last, oh, twenty cleanings. You do the math.

My saving grace with my teeth is that I am very, very meticulous about brushing and flossing (so as not to HAVE TO go to the dentist, of course)! But I knew that with all my efforts, it was time to go have a professional take a look.

I'll admit, I was more terrified to go for a dental cleaning than I was to give birth. Seriously! Sure, I was worried about pain and the sound of the drill and being told every tooth would need a root canal.

But the number one reason I was scared to go back was that I was sure I would be chastised and judged for being away so long.

Oh, I had my reasons for not going--no dental insurance for part of the time, and a history of being yelled at by the hygienist as a child. Good times. So either I couldn't go, or I had legitimate reasons for not wanting to go. It just got to the point that staying away somehow felt easier than returning.

And I was sure they'd make me feel rejected. They'd see me as a patient, of course, but really, why wouldn't they--Surely after so many years away I was sure I had, as they call it, "Lottery Mouth." But they'd judge me, I was certain. They'd smile their (shiny white perfectly veneered) smiles at me but inside would wonder how on earth I could stay away so long.

I felt like the Prodigal Patient.

I thought back to the son Jesus described to His disciples who had asked his own father for his portion of the inheritance, only to go off, live a wild life, and fritter it all away until he was penniless. To get by, he fed pigs and found himself eating out of the feeding trough because he was so famished. He wanted to return home, but surely questioned how warm the reception would be for someone like himself. Finally, he headed home, fully prepared to beg his father for a servant's job in the home. But while he was still a long way off, his father (who had been watching for him) saw him and went running. Running. He plowed into his boy with the warmest embrace. He brought him home, called for a celebration feast with the best meat and a ring for the son who had willingly left him. Such celebration for the one who was long gone, but had finally come home.

When I arrived at the dentist's office a few weeks ago, I was met with warmth and understanding. Nobody seemed to condemn me for being away so long. The hygienist just said, "We're just glad you're here today."

Grace, grace, grace. I had to smile.

Yes, I have a few cavities. But the report wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be (maybe my floss addiction might not be a bad thing). There's some work to be done. But I was shown grace.

How desperately we need grace. We willingly leave and do our own thing, and mess up in epic ways. We knowingly chase a life we were never meant to have and refuse the things that will introduce us to the Living God. We want what we want from Him, but we don't want Him.

But then one day, we find ourselves broken, penniless, and shoveling pig slop into our mouths. We realize we could have so much more, if only as His servant. But He's watching, waiting for our return. He's got His running shoes on, ready to race out and meet us on the return trip home. He has a fattened-calf feast and a robe and a ring in which He longs to adorn us.

"My child has returned!" Cheers and celebration all around. No condemnation. Just rejoicing over our return.

Grace, grace, grace.

HIGH MAINTENANCE

2011-07-18T07:49:00.000-04:00

Life is just high-maintenance.

Just as you fold the last piece of laundry and tuck it into a drawer, somewhere else in the house another piece of dirty laundry is being dropped into a hamper.

Moments after scrubbing the toilet to a sanitized, glistening shine, your young son with "questionable aim" has to use the bathroom. Back to Square One.

The just-emptied dishwasher quickly gathers many a newly-dirtied dish.

Cars need oil changes, houses need fresh coats of paint, lightbulbs and batteries need to be changed.

The maintenance is never done, and won't be until we breathe our last.

Even the second law of thermodynamics says that things are constantly moving from a state of order to a state of disorder (That's a little shout-out to my science teacher husband, and quite possibly the most academic statement I've ever used on this blog!!).

And it's the case in our own personal relationship with Jesus Christ. It takes zero effort to drift away from Him. He doesn't move away from us, but when we forego what it takes to maintain an intimate relationship with Him, we find ourselves far from where we want to be.

It takes zero maintenance to realize we haven't prayed in a week. Or two.

It requires no effort on your part to go a month without opening your Bible.

It takes nothing to end up thinking, speaking, deciding, acting and reacting like this world does.

But is that what we really want?

We were created for an intimate, life-altering relationship with the One who made us. But it takes maintenance.

Praying. Reading the Word. Serving as He did. Being in fellowship with other followers.

And while it takes investments of love, sacrifices of time, laying down our lives, and taking up our cross daily (read: a lot of work!), we were made for the abundant life that results from the maintenance of our relationship with Jesus.

There will be a day when we breathe our last and the laundry and errands and dishwashing and obligations will all end.

But this relationship with our God will go on and on. For we were also made for the eternal life that results from a relationship with Jesus.

TEARS

2011-07-16T07:20:00.000-04:00

What makes you cry?

Weddings and funerals? Lifetime Original Movies? Chopped onions?

Yesterday I cried over something that has never moved me to tears before.

I'd had a block of time to myself (Thank you, Sweet Husband!) and had finished the last words in the book of Genesis. I closed my Bible and just kind of sat there and shook my head in awe, reverence, and just plain love of the words I'd just read.

I began to pray to thank God for His Word. And before I knew it, I had tears rolling down my face as I expressed my deep sadness over what seems to be a prevailing problem:

Many, many, many Christians just don't seem to see a need to consistently take in the Word of God.

Oh, they'll receive it in spoon-fed form from their pastors on Sunday morning. They're okay with a few verses sprinkled into a book they're reading. Maybe they're even prayer warriors. But as for spending time reading the Bible? " Meh."

I don't say this from any sort of a high-horse--Believe me. Because not so long ago, I was the president of the "I'm-Just-Kind-of-'Meh'-About-the-Bible" club. I loved God and prayed consistently and felt convicted about not reading His Word, but I had come to the conclusion that it was just a dry read.

When I was single, I read my Bible. A lot. While my friends were getting married and starting their families, I had the Word of God. I have notes in the margins dating back to '96. But then eventually I got married, got busy, and somehow got the impression that reading God's Word was something I really should do, but no longer wanted to. Looking back, I'm grieved at opportunities lost and truths overlooked. I don't live under condemnation for it, but I have to acknowledge I did miss out. And I bet others around me missed out because I wasn't truly seeking the LORD. Our actions (and inactions) rarely affect just us. And while I don't want to dwell in the past, I want to glance back to decide what needs to be different going forward.

After years of hit-and-miss, extremely sporadic Bible reading, I got into a Bible study 3 years ago and was reminded of what I'd known to be true in the past:

The Bible is real! And exciting! And convicting! And moving! And relevant! And awe-inspiring! It brings guidance and gives direction and breeds hope and turns our feet from traps and tells us how to relate to others. It is GOD-BREATHED. Really! How can we think that the very breath of God is boring?

But the number of unread Bibles in Christian homes just seems to be epidemic. I mean epidemic! And the thought of this very thing reduced me to tears yesterday. I felt--and feel--absolutely broken about it.

It's not that I look with condemnation on anyone whose Bible is collecting dust. First of all, been there myself. Second of all, I am nobody's judge. But I am deeply concerned about what we as believers are missing out on and who's missing out as a result of all we're missing. What lives are not being impacted? What truths aren't being spoken--and what lies are? What hope isn't being nurtured and what pits are people falling into? What directions are being missed, and what grace is going unrecognized? It's hard enough to live in excellence when we are walking in the instruction of God--how can we expect to live with any sort of excellence apart from it?

I have days that come and go when I spend zero time in Scripture. And I have to come back at myself with one question: Why not? How did a full 24 hours go by without me making that a priority? And what did I decide was more worthy of my attention in those 24 hours?

Maybe we're getting by. But I am terrified we're missing out.

Holy God, I am literally crying out for a stirring in our hearts to love Your Word. We talk at You and tell You what we need and never crack open the book through which You have already answered. We make foolish decisions that Your Word clearly addresses, and then wonder why You didn't try to stop us. We live our lives in pits when Your Word proclaims freedom and release. Husbands aren't looking to see how they're supposed to lead, and wives aren't seeking Your ways as they relate to their husbands and children. We say we want You but then refuse what You've said! Please bring a revival in our hearts for Your Word. Draw us to it. Let it so satisfy us that we can't go without it.

MESSING UP THE BLESSING

2011-07-15T21:59:00.000-04:00

Ever thought maybe--just maybe--God got it wrong?

"Of course not. His way is perfect!" Well, sure it is. And thank you for that Sunday-School-Answer reply.

But are you sure about that? How about this then:

Have you ever attempted to manipulate His hands to try and remedy what you thought just might be a mistake?

You're not alone.

Jacob was dying and asked his son Joseph to bring his grandsons Manasseh and Ephraim to him so that he could speak a blessing over each of them. Manasseh was the firstborn, so Jacob should have put his right hand on him and given him the greater of the blessings.

But he didn't.

Instead, he CROSSED HIS HANDS and put his right hand on Ephraim, the younger son, and administered the greater of the blessings to--well, in Joseph's mind--the wrong son.

"When Joseph saw his father placing his right hand on Ephraim's head, he was displeased; so he took hold of his father's hand to move it from Ephraim's head to Manasseh's head. Joseph said to him, 'No, my father, this one is the firstborn; put your right hand on his head.'

But his father refused and said, 'I know, my son, I know" (Genesis 48:17-19). Jacob went on to say that Manasseh would be great, but Ephraim would be greater.

If I'm honest, I know there are times in my life when I thought the Creator of the universe needed my intervention, almost as if He had acted inadvertently and I was swooping in to fix the situation.

I mean, clearly that job was meant to be MINE, right God? Did You drop the ball on this one? What gives?

Oops, I don't think You got the memo that we were reeeeally hoping to be pregnant by now, LORD. Now we're going to have to read every blog post about increasing our chances of conceiving because You messed up here.

Didn't You plant this dream in my heart, God? Well, You kind of seem to be dragging Your feet in bringing in about, so now I'm gonna make it happen, Cap'n."

We grab hold of the hands that fashioned us and formed the heavens and try to manipulate them. We assume He's just messing up the blessing.

But can't you just hear the words "I know, my child. I know"? They are the reassurance of the One who is all-knowing and all-seeing. If His hands rest somewhere to give a blessing, it's because He knows. If His hands are seemingly too still, it's because He knows. There are no errors in His ways, no messing up the blessing.

He knows.

I WANT IT GONE

2011-07-10T02:31:00.001-04:00

I cannot sleep with a fly in the room. Can't do it.

So sometimes (read: last night) I run around my bedroom at 11pm with a fly swatter, trying to rid the room of all those pesky buzzing things so that I can rest. My husband, bless his heart, just doesn't get it. He'll put the pillow over his head and say, "Just open the bedroom door and let it fly out."

Oh, no. Then it'll just buzz around in some other room of the house and resurface to bug me later. Nope, I don't want to relocate the fly. I want that thing gone. And I'm getting rid of it.

1 Peter 2, Ephesians 4, and James 1 all speak to things of which we are to RID OURSELVES:

malice
deceit
hypocrisy
envy
slander
bitterness
rage
anger
brawling
moral filth

I think sometimes we can try to justify, relocate, or repress these things, but that doesn't mean they're gone. They're just buzzing around elsewhere, waiting for a chance to resurface.

Pretending we're not all that upset when we've got a pot of anger simmering inside is to deal with a boil-over later.
Acting like we're happy for so-and-so who got the thing or the opportunity we wanted doesn't mean we've rid ourselves of envy.
Sharing hurtful words about others in the form of "prayer requests" doesn't mean we've eliminated slander from our lives.
Telling half-truths or omitting truth doesn't mean we've purged ourselves of deceit.
Writing a blog post about ridding ourselves of these things and then not living it myself? Well, that's just a bunch of hypocrisy buzzing around.

Sure, anybody can figure out a way to a temporary fix. But I doubt there will be any kind of real rest in you or in me until we RID OURSELVES of them.

Was there something on that list with which you are currently struggling? Bitterness? A form of moral filth? Picture that very thing as a fly that is buzzing around your head, keeping your soul from rest. Consider what things--what practical, applicable, day-to-day things--need to happen to make that thing get gone.

Maybe praying for patience and understanding with so-and-so is how you'll rid yourself of anger today.
Maybe skipping that movie is how you'll keep moral filth from your mind today.
Maybe praying Psalm 141:3 ("Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; Keep watch over the door of my lips") is the practical thing you'll do to rid yourself of slander today.

Whatever it is, don't just shoo it out of the room to deal with later. In His name, do whatever needs to be done--today--to get that thing gone!

Rid yourself. You won't be able to rest until you do.

I HEART SAFETY AND COMFORT

2011-07-07T06:09:00.000-04:00

We took the training wheels off my son's bike recently, and he was loving being able to ride on his own. But a few days after his triumphant, training-wheels-free first ride, I found him riding around the driveway on his old tricycle. I told him I'd get out his big bike for him, but he declined. "This one is just easier for me."

Well, sure it is. But it's not exactly fitting for a 5-year old to be scooting around on a tricycle when he is more than able to zoom around on his big bike.

Oh, riding his big boy bike will mean falls and scrapes now and then. But it will mean freedom, too.

How we love our safety and comfort and ease, don't we? We love hearing stories of others living their lives with abandon, fully surrendered to the twists-and-turns path of the call of God. We see them zipping around with the wind in their hair while we dare not pick up enough speed for things to get precarious in our own lives.

And we really miss out.

Some of us need to get off our tricycles. Sure, it's safer. Yes, it's easier. And to get on the big bike may mean bumps and bruises that we wouldn't get riding on the tricycle. But to live in abandon to the call of God is to experience unmatched exhilaration.

Please, please take 3 minutes to watch this funny but powerful clip by Francis Chan. I see myself in this a little bit. You'll laugh, but you'll probably see yourself in this, too. * Fast forward to 55 seconds in and start watching from that point.

LIBERTY, SCHMIBERTY

2011-07-06T07:14:00.000-04:00

Monday was just a very different kind of 4th of July. This time around I smiled at hearing words like "liberty" and "freedom" -- words that have really kind of been lost on me in the past.

Yes, I'm very thankful to live in a free country, and I know not everyone has it the way I have it. And I have been forgiven of my sin, but I don't know that I've ever been especially mindful of my desperate need to be freed, until recently. And I think that perhaps until you've been helplessly trapped and then set free, maybe you don't really get it.

I know I didn't, anyway.

I was trying to explain to my kids what it means to be set free--and that it suggests that you've been un-free at some point. I said, "It would be like if someone locked you in that bathroom (our tiny powder room) and it was dark, and you were trapped and you couldn't get out on your own, no matter how hard you tried--and then finally after 3 days, someone finally unlocked the door and let you out. How would you feel?"

You'd feel free. FINALLY FREE. And you'd have a new love for words like "liberty" and "freedom."

You'd begin devouring and reciting aloud the words of Scripture that talk about being in a slimy pit, and being lifted out by gracious and able hands.

You'd stand in your living room crying out to God in worship with your hands literally raised up, calling out for rescue from your pit, and being totally in awe when you were aware that He was answering your cry for help.

You'd jump to attention at the slightest threat of being thrown back into that jail cell of a pit again, and begin declaring the Word of God about how He has set your feet on a rock and given you a firm place to stand.

You'd smile at the sound of that song on the radio that speaks to being set free, because you've lived it.

You'd start singing that new song He put in your mouth, the hymn of praise to our God.

And you would want to shout *LIBERTY!* from the rooftops. You'd want it for others. You'd be desperate to declare *FREEDOM!* for captives once you'd tasted of it yourself.

I have read through many of these next Scripture passages many times, but they have only recently come to be stitched into my heart--and they're my passion now. My heart has been tendered through terrible brokenness to those in captivity, because I've walked a mile in those shoes, and now I know there is nothing like being set free. Fetters falling off, chains clanging as they fall to the ground, prison doors swinging wide open.

Beautiful freedom. Sweet liberty.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives,

and release from darkness for the prisoners.

Isaiah 61:1

I waited patiently for the LORD;

He turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

out of the mud and mire.

He set my feet on a rock

and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth--

a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear the LORD

and put their trust in Him.

Psalm 40:1-3

I will exalt You, O Lord,

for You lifted me out of the depths

and did not let my enemies gloat over me.

O Lord, my God, I called to You for help

and You healed me.

Psalm 30:1-2

TIME TO GO, TIME TO STOP

2011-07-02T06:50:00.000-04:00

So....I've started running.

I'll pause for a moment while y'all either die of laughter or fall out of your chair in disbelief, for those who know me well.

I'm building up to it, though. I've been doing an interval training program called C25K (um, dare I tell you that this stands for "From Couch to 5K") that involves walking for a few minutes, then running for a few minutes. There's even a phone app to alert me when it's time to run and when it's time to walk. I hear a little *beep* and my phone flashes a green light when it's time to go--time to run. And then a few minutes later, there's the *beep* and a blue light flashes to tell me I can stop running.

Most of the time I'm waiting anxiously for the blue light, just pushing myself harder until I hear the *beep* and see my signal that it's time to walk again and I can rest a bit. Love me some blue light!

And there are plenty of times when I've just settled into a nice, restful walk when--*beep*--that green light starts flashing, and I know it's time to go again. Darn you, green light!

But every now and then, I'm ready to run but it's not time to yet. It's mostly because there's a big downward slope in the road followed by a steep incline, and I want it to be time to run so that by the time I hit that upward part, it'll be time to walk again (You can see I'm really dedicated to this whole running thing when I find myself planning out the easiest way to get through it)!

But while I'm out there on my morning runs, just waiting on my blue lights and green lights, I keep thinking of how God led His people in the desert in a similar way. Nope, they weren't staring down at a Blackberry waiting for the next alert. Instead, they followed a cloud. The LORD led His people with a cloud.

Whenever the cloud lifted, the Israelites set out; wherever the cloud settled, the Israelites encamped. At the LORD's command the Israelites set out, and at His command they encamped. When the cloud remained over the tabernacle a long time, the Israelites obeyed the LORD's order and did not set out. Whether the cloud stayed over the tabernacle for two days or a month or a year, the Israelites would remain and not set out; but when it lifted, they would set out. At the LORD's command they encamped, and at the LORD's command they set out.
Numbers 9:15-19, 22-23

I have to imagine that there were times when they had hardly finished setting up their tents when that cloud started to move ahead. Maybe they wished for a longer break in between their travels (I hear ya, Israelites). Maybe they'd been there long enough to have grown comfortable where they were.

But it says there were times the cloud was still for as long as a year. Now, I wasn't there, but I have to imagine that at some point God's people had to get a little antsy, a little "Alrighty, any time now," a little "Let's get this show on the road." But if that cloud wasn't moving, then neither were they.

As for me, I'm ready to run. I am. I am itching to go. This is a metaphor, of course, because I'm never actually all that ready to run in the literal sense. But I feel like there's an area in my life in which I am positioned at the starting line, just waiting for the starting pistol to fire. And I'm sitting here. And waiting. And that thing won't fire! The cloud won't move! No beep, no green light...

No go!

It's tough. Because I've had a taste of the "go," and it was sweet. After a long time of waiting, I got the GO. I ran. I breathed it all in. I gave what God gave me back to Him as an offering with all I knew to do. And then the cloud stopped.

And it's still stopped. I don't dare try to start going before the pistol fires, before the cloud moves, before the beep and the green light. As much as I feel like my heart is going to beat out of its chest if I don't get to go soon, I don't dare go where He doesn't lead.

And so I stay poised, watchful, ready for the "GO." Maybe you can relate. Or maybe you can see the cloud forging ahead and you're just not sure you're ready to follow it quite yet. I don't even pretend to have the answer to why you and I are staring at a moving cloud or a still one at this season in our lives, but His plans are perfect. His way is flawless. He is not slow in leading us, nor does he call us to set out unnecessarily. His timing is right.

And whether moving cloud or still cloud, He can be trusted.

PLANTING TREES

2011-06-29T08:20:00.000-04:00

Have you ever heard a song that so captured the cry of your heart, you wondered whether the songwriter had had access to the very depths of you--every thought and desire?

Last week my friend Briahnna sent me these lyrics:

She rises up as morning breaks,

she moves among these rooms alone, before we wake

And her heart is so full, it overflows

She waters us with love, and the children grow.

So many years from now, long after we are gone,

These trees will spread their branches out and bless someone.

So sink in to all that matters, step out into the light

Let go of all that's passing, lift up the least of these

lean into something lasting...

Planting trees.

I am overcome when I think of the message behind these words, because this is our blessed calling! For every wife and mother out there (or mother in waiting), this is a gift from God to get to be up before our families, sneaking into their rooms to lay a hand on them to pray for things that will happen to them not just 20 minutes from now but also 20 years from now, storing up the Word of God in our own hearts so we have truth and wisdom to impart to them, declaring over them "You are more than a conqueror because Jesus loves you!" so they know who they are in Him, insisting on our children's pleases and thank yous and reminding them to pray for friends, supporting a husband's call to serve others...we are so blessed to get to do every last one of these things and more!

Because it doesn't just stop with your family or with mine. It's about who we'll reach through them, both outside our homes and into the nations, and the generations to come. We are building into little ones we'll never meet, providing a heritage for those to come. God allows us to be in on these very things--how awesome and good of Him to use us to accomplish His purposes.

I am overwhelmed when I think of the women I know who are all about "planting trees." So many women come to mind. I am challenged and encouraged by you in many different ways. I love you and pray today that the LORD strengthens your hands to just keep on planting trees, that they may grow up and their branches will reach someone.

*Thanks to Briahnna, a fellow tree-planter, for sending me these lyrics that captured my heart this week ("Planting Trees" by Andrew Peterson).

One generation will tell the next generation of Your works, they will declare Your mighty acts. They will speak of the glorious splendor of Your majesty and will meditate on Your wonderful works. They will tell of the power of Your awesome works and will proclaim Your great deeds. They will celebrate Your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of Your righteousness.

Psalm 145:4-7 * A prayer to be prayed over our children

IF IT WAS ONLY ONE OF THESE THINGS...

2011-06-29T07:59:00.000-04:00

A family needs our prayers. The wife is due with their 4th child in about 2 weeks.

A family needs our prayers. The husband just accepted a job in Florida, and they will be heading there soon to begin their new life.

A family needs our prayers. Their 4-year old son Finn was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia last Thursday. Very thankfully, this is a type of Leukemia that has a high survival rate, but there's a long road ahead.

All three of these requests are for the same family--the Wheeler family--Chris, Shawn, Arden, Finn, Benaiah, and Baby Wheeler #4. And I think even ONE of these scenarios would warrant a covering of our prayers, but they are facing all three.

Even though you may not know this family, please pray for them. They welcome our prayers, and as Shawn Wheeler said, "Our expectation is in God!"

*FINN WHEELER*

SOME NEVER MADE IT THERE

2011-06-26T18:05:00.000-04:00

The Israelites. God's chosen people, freed from their captivity in Egypt.

They were told there was a land flowing with milk and honey that awaited them. It was available to every last one of them.

But some of them never saw the fulfillment of that promise.

Hebrews 3:17 states that many of them never made it all the way; Instead, "their carcasses fell in the desert."

They fell in the desert. As in, the desert in which they wandered, the desert that was just short of the promised land. They died without experiencing the place of blessing--They perished before they tasted of the milk and honey.

This has been on my mind the last few days, and I think I'm realizing that

GOD'S OFFER OF THE PROMISED LAND WAS CERTAIN. BUT THEIR ARRIVAL THERE WAS NOT.

What got in the way? Disbelief. Ingratitude. Persistent rebellion. Pervasive disobedience. Forgetting the One who made a way for their deliverance.

Even Moses never saw the Promised Land. Obviously he was loved by the LORD and was used by God to lead the deliverance of His people (Can you imagine being chosen to be in on that?!?) But later in the desert when the Israelites needed water to drink, God instructed Moses to speak to a rock and was told the water would gush out of it. Instead, Moses struck the rock with his staff rather than merely speaking to it. And that one act of disbelief cost Moses dearly.

"Then the LORD spoke to Moses and Aaron: 'Because you did not believe Me, to hallow Me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them'" (Numbers 20:12).

It got me wondering--What promises has God placed before us--promises that are absolutely AVAILABLE to us but not certainly ours if our hearts remain bent on disbelief, rebellion, ingratitude, and forgetting the One who insured our deliverance? Is there milk and honey that you and I are meant to taste, blessings that He most certainly has in store for us, if we will only trust and obey? Absolutely. But what if our hearts are set on not trusting, nor obeying--will we still taste of what He holds in store?

I'm not saying that we can somehow disqualify ourselves from every earthly blessing from God if we stumble and fall, if our hearts grow weary or if we find ourselves questioning at times. But I think we can all agree that our sin holds consequences. I'll be the first in line to thank God for giving me what I IN NO WAY deserved, and for not doling out the punishment I most certainly DID deserve. God is gracious beyond our understanding, and His heart is tendered and moved to mercy by penitent hearts. But there are lasting ramifications when we do not believe the One who has said, "BELIEVE ME."

This is a bit of a tough pill to swallow, but the past few days I feel like the Holy Spirit has been speaking to my heart, "Believe Me that there were ones who fell in the desert. They didn't all see the Promised Land." And honestly, doesn't it kind of make sense? I mean, if we believe that there are blessings in store when we hold unswervingly to our faith and believe God...

...then doesn't it stand to reason that we risk missing out on certain blessings if we do not believe Him?

YOU OWN HOW MANY PAIRS OF PANTS?

2011-06-22T21:33:00.000-04:00

Recently I saw a video online of a man who decided he probably had too many pairs of pants, but had no idea exactly how many he had--and so one day he decided to count them all.

There were seventy-five. The man had 75 pairs of pants!

It got me thinking. Pants aren't as much my thing, so I decided to go through my closet and count my shirts instead. So here's my big number:

Forty-six! Long sleeve, short sleeve, fancy, casual. Shirts, shirts, shirts.

How on earth did I end up with 46 shirts?

That means that I could wear a different shirt every day for a month and a half with no repeats. That is absolutely ridiculous!

The man on the video said something that has stayed with me ever since. He basically said, "How did I have 70 pairs of pants and feel the need to buy a 71st? Or a 72nd? And what compelled me to buy a 73rd pair of pants with 72 other pairs hanging in the closet at home? And then how did I think I needed a 74th, and a 75th?"

And frankly, I feel the same way about my 46 shirts. Especially in light of the trip my husband just took to the Dominican Republic where many children run around in the same shirt--the one and only shirt they own--every single day. And just when you'd think their closets must be pretty empty, you realize that they'd say "Closet? What's a closet?" -- because the idea of having a separate room for their clothes would be unthinkable to them. They often cram families of six into a few hundred square feet while we have designated rooms for our clothes and cars.

When did I decide that I needed 40+ shirts? I never set out to own that many, but how do I even have more than I can count on two hands? And really, to be honest, I have always been fairly content with simple things and a simple life. So I think I look at what I have and don't bat an eyelash because comparitively speaking, we keep it pretty simple around here. As a rule, we really don't pursue status and stuff.

But there's something that hasn't been sitting well with me about owning 46 shirts.

As I went through this, I was reminded of a statement I read in Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline -- "Most of us could get rid of half of what we have and not really feel it." And so I started really thinking about it. Half of 46 is 23. If I gave away half my shirts, I would still have 23 shirts left. I didn't really want to face it but I knew there is no reason I can't be more than content with 23 shirts. I realized that was exactly what needed to happen. I went into my closet and took 23 shirts off their hangers and set them aside to donate. I thought it would be really difficult, but it was done within 5 minutes. And what I thought would be so tough to do was actually pretty freeing!

Let me throw out a challenge. I'm not saying you should necessarily pare down your own wardrobe, but I do encourage you to do one thing: Go into your closet. Start counting. Shoes, pants, shirts, whatever. Just start counting.

But let me warn you--It'll probably be eye-opening. Maybe even uncomfortable.

Jesus, You are our example. You went to the cross with only the clothes for which the soldiers cast lots. Your goal was not the acquisition of stuff, but to simply do the will of the Father. Please show us Your ways and show how we can follow You. Give us hearts that are content with less. Open our hearts to share what we have more than we're doing now.

ANNOYING LIGHT

2011-06-16T11:04:00.000-04:00

A few nights ago our power went out for several hours. I lit several candles around the room, and picked up a good book to read--something you can still do when the power goes out!

But the candle right next to me was flickering wildly. I could hardly read my book because it was so distracting.

And then I noticed another candle lit across the room. It too gave off light, but the flame was still. Eventually I put the flickering candle across the room and put the steady light beside me to read.

As believers, we are the light of the world, and we are called to let our light shine. There are some, though, who believe that if their light isn't flickering wildly, they aren't doing it right. I'm talking about believers who feel it's appropriate to be terribly "in your face," often being known for declaring all we're against rather than sharing the One we're for. There's a place for standing up against injustice, absolutely--and a time to protest; Christ Himself spoke out against injustice. I just have trouble with people trying to shame or scare people into the Kingdom of God. And frankly, it's annoying to a watching world. I think that often these "flickering" types of believers are more concerned with drawing attention to what they're doing for God than actually pointing others toward Him.

Others, though, shine their light in a way that is steady and constant--being the same person no matter the circumstance, proving over time their consistency in faith and integrity. They know that the Holy Spirit can draw hearts to Himself without a bunch of obnoxious and often repellent antics on our part. They simply shine the light of Jesus in their coming and going, in loving actions and gentle words of truth.

Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven.

Matthew 5:16

OUTLOUD

2011-06-14T15:59:00.000-04:00

I've been challenged this week to do two things that I've found to be powerful in the past:

Read Scripture outloud. And recite Scripture outloud.

I know it may not feel like the most comfortable or even convenient thing to do. I spend time reading Scripture downstairs in the morning while everyone else is asleep upstairs, so I have to read aloud quietly. But there is something so powerful about actually saying the words outloud and hearing them ring in my own ears. It somehow makes the promises more "mine."

I have been chewing on Psalm 40 for the last week or two, and have committed those words to memory, so any time I've been driving in the car or lying awake in bed in the middle of the night, I have begun speaking the words outloud and have found them burning into my heart in a fresh new way. The other passage that I love to speak aloud is Psalm 103...

So go ahead--take a moment to read the next words outloud. Allow them to become your promises. Declare them as your own--because they actually are!

Praise the LORD, O my soul,

and all that is within me, praise His holy name.

Praise the LORD, O my soul,

and do not forget all His benefits:

He forgives all my sins

and heals all my diseases,

He redeems my life from the pit

and crowns me with love and compassion.

He satisfies my desires with good things
so that my youth is renewed.

I do have a passion to speak His truth. But one of my favorite things is to simply speak His truth outloud, that my own ears may hear and receive. It's amazing how my heart changes when I hear the echoes of His Word in my head.

I HOPE THEY READ THIS ONE DAY

2011-06-12T16:40:00.000-04:00

When I post to this blog, I'm hoping you can relate to what you read here. I'm hoping you find a connection between daily life and God's Word. I'm hoping you're encouraged and challenged.

But I don't know who "you" are. I don't even know for sure that there's even a "you" reading this at all! I don't know who ends up at this blog from time to time, or if these words are really even seen.

But that's okay. Yes, I hope there are some "you"s who find yourself here and find yourself blessed for stopping by. I pray for that often. But really, even if they aren't a lot of "you" reading this, I keep on posting for an eventual "you":

My children.

No, they probably won't be heading to this blog to read anytime soon. But I have begun looking into sites that turn blogs into books. Yes, they actually do this! I just heard about this in the past year. And since I have been thinking a lot about how to impart my passion for our God to my children and grandchildren and so on, I think a great way to do so would be to share these stories, these struggles, and these victories I've written over the past 2 years.

My friend Denise shared with me a few months back something that resonated with me. She said that when she writes, she writes out of obedience to the Holy Spirit as He leads her to do so. Maybe that word is for someone reading that day or that week, but it just might be that that word is for her children or her children's children to read one day. I wanted to yell, "YES!" when she said these words. I understood her heart in this. I really share her heart in this.

And so I've been thinking that a blog-book would be a way to pass down all these truths that the LORD had pressed into my heart during the time I've had this blog. Ideally I want one for each of my kids to be able to keep, and eventually pass on. It's not that I think that what I have to say is so riveting, but I believe God's Word and faithfulness ARE riveting. And I want them to have a testament to God's faithfulness in the life of our family.

I wanted to pass along this info in case this interests anyone else. Maybe you have a family blog or something of which you'd really like to have a hard copy to keep. I have heard that blurb.com makes a great blog-book. I can't personally attest to the quality of their work but I have a friend who loves the one her mom made for her last Christmas. When I do get around to making one eventually, I'll let you know what I think!

Hope "you" have a blessed week!

-Thea

I FINALLY KNOW WHAT COMMENCEMENT MEANS

2011-06-10T03:59:00.000-04:00

"Oh, no!" I said aloud. "I cannot believe I did that!" I was sitting at a graduation when I learned that "commencement" means the beginning of something--not the end.

Unfortunately, just a week or two before that, I had written an AP essay using the word "commence" to speak of the end of something. And I used it that way at least a few times. Go ahead and laugh--I'm not always the sharpest tool in the shed. And now I was pretty sure I'd failed the essay portion of the AP test. How on earth did I end up in AP English anyway?!?

Maybe I can crank out a good essay in spite of my limited understanding of vocabulary, or maybe the AP reader didn't know what commencement means either, because (somehow) I still passed the test.

I awoke very early this morning with that memory in mind, and these words running through my head: Commencement is anything but the end of something. It's the beginning.

And I can't help thinking that

the end of living in a pit isn't just the end of an existence in the mud and the mire. It's the beginning of a life of liberty.

The end of holding onto a hurt isn't just the end of bitterness and resentment. It's the start of healing and freedom.

The end of living deceptively isn't just the end of duplicity. It's the beginning of simplicity and single-minded devotion.

Even the end of things that were precious to me--seasons of life, places I've lived, opportunities I've had--were not merely endings. They were the beginnings of the next season, the next place, the next opportunity...the next blessing.

And the end of living a broken life according to my flesh isn't just the end of "me." It's the commencement of growing in Christ-likeness--and therefore the beginning of all kinds of mighty, glory-drenched, eternal things--finally living as the "me" I was created to be.

And there will be a day when I'll arrive for my own commencement ceremony. Oh, people may gather in a church and say words of remembrance, but I won't be here for it--I'll be there for it. Because when my days on earth are through, what might appear to be the end will be anything but. I'll be beginning my dwelling with the One who made me. It'll be the start of knowing as I've been known all along. It'll be the first of the rest of my days of standing beside my Savior. My Savior! How beautiful.

You are a God of beginnings veiled in things that appear to be coming to an end. You are Eternal God, and when it seems that things are tying up, You are ready to tie us in to our next beginning--whether here, or there. I love You.

EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO READ TODAY

2011-06-09T20:15:00.000-04:00

"I don't care what kind of places you've been--

Head-hanging is not necessary

unless Christ has crowned you with so much love and compassion that the weight of it sometimes bows your head in joyful and worship and gratitude."

-Beth Moore

No more hanging my head in shame. Loving Him as the lifter of my head today!

(NOT-WORTH-IT) DEFIANCE

2011-06-08T06:50:00.000-04:00

I am earning my Mama Badge these days.

My young daughter has entered a phase of defiance. I mean DEFIANCE, y'all. At some point every day for the last week or two, she has "pushed it," so to speak.

And it's not just, "Liley, come here" and she won't come. It's "Liley, come here" and she'll head in the opposite direction.

Forget "head" in the opposite direction. More like RUN in the opposite direction with all her strength.

There's a difference between not coming when you'll called and turning tail and heading in the opposite direction when you're called.

Consider Jonah's defiance. He clearly heard God's command: "Go to Nineveh, Jonah."

And he could have gone.

Or he could have stayed put.

But instead he ran elsewhere. He turned and headed toward Tarshish, in deliberate avoidance of Nineveh. Not to mention in deliberate avoidance of the very command of Almighty God.

I think he'd tell you it wasn't worth it: Caught in a violent storm, tossed overboard like a ragdoll, swallowed whole by a fish and forced to live in its bowels for three days. And then for the grand finale, he was spat out onto dry land.

And then came the command again: "Jonah, go to Nineveh."

This time, he RAN in the way of obedience until his feet stepped on the soil of Nineveh.

I don't want my sweet girl to learn the hard way that defiance is just plain not worth it. I don't want her to be gulped up by some proverbial fish. Oh, but it's sure to happen--Just like her own Mama, she will defy, and she will regret defying. But in time she'll grow in understanding of the worth of obedience, and will grow a great distaste for defiance. I cry out for her heart to be bent toward obedience throughout her life. But I want the same for myself, too. I want a heart that responds by heading toward my own Ninevehs, not turning tail and running in the opposite direction.

Father, turn our hearts toward You. Pluck out these roots of defiance in our hearts. If they're allowed to grow, I do not even want to know what kinds of consequences will result from our rebellion. Just please give us a passion for obedience and a willingness to walk in Your way.

CONSIDERING THE COST ON THE FRONT END

2011-06-04T20:29:00.000-04:00

"Hey, Thea--you need to slow down. If you don't, you're going to be out a lot of money in a few moments."

I wish someone had been there to warn me. If someone had, I guarantee I would not have gotten that speeding ticket last week.

Usually if someone sees a police officer, they'll flash their lights at oncoming cars to give a heads-up to slow down. And at that point, if you still don't slow down and end up getting a ticket, you kind of asked for it! But people usually do slow down when they get a warning.

Why then does this logic not translate to other areas of life? Perhaps because we don't consider the cost on the front end.

This week in our small group we watched Andy Stanley's teaching on managing our appetites, and how our inability to manage our appetites can cost us dearly. He taught the story of when Esau traded his birthright for a bowl of stew. Really?!? Yes, a bowl of stew. There's no way he really thought that one through, or considered the cost of that decision on the front end. What he gave up was much further reaching than his own lifetime--certainly longer lasting than that bowl of stew. But before we go thinking Esau a fool, let's at least acknowledge the ways in which we've done the same.

While I was on my way to work in such a hurry the other day, I know what I would have chosen if things had really been spelled out for me: "You can try to shave about a minute off your commute to work, but it will cost you about $100." I would have slowed down. No brainer. But I am sorry to say that I have been less able--willing, perhaps?--to count the cost on the front end of some other decisions I've made, and have had to pay the price.

And I'm not alone.

There are people all over who don't get to tuck their own kids in at night because they didn't realize on the front end that that would be one of the costs of their poor choices and selfish pursuits.

There are teenagers having sex with their boyfriends/girlfriends, never anticipating the conversations they're going to have with their future spouse about where they've been and what they've done.

There are families that deal with incredible stress because of excessive debt. They don't completely consider the loss of their financial freedom with every single swipe of the credit card, but it's coming. Perhaps it's even prevented the realization of a mom's longing to be home with her children.

What if, by any chance, we would truly weigh the cost of our decisions on the front end? I think every teen or single adult should literally sit down and write down a list of what it would cost them to have sex prior to marriage. I think every married person should literally sit down and write down a list of everything they stand to lose if they pursue a relationship with anyone other than their spouse. In these cases and in many others, I bet such an exercise would be eye-opening, to say the least.

And the Word of God gives us the warnings! About acquiring debt, about laziness, about sex outside the boundary of marriage, about gossip, about giving way to anger...the list goes on and on. Just spend a little time reading His Word, and you'll soon notice the flashing lights warning you to slow down.

And at that point, you can either heed the warnings and slow down, or keep on keeping on at the pace at which you're going.

But there's a cost to the whole "keep-on-keeping-on" thing.

Merciful God, we need You. Please give us the wisdom to carefully consider our steps, and to count the cost on the front end.

BEYOND MY PERIPHERAL VISION

2011-06-01T22:43:00.000-04:00

Today I found myself thinking about those peripheral vision tests the eye doctor always gives. You stared straight ahead, and then there were these tiny flashes of light all around, some right in front of your eyes, and some further out. Some of the flashes were even too far out for your peripheral vision to detect.

But they were there nonetheless.

There are things I see God doing. I recognize answers to prayer. I see His hand moving in circumstances, and I perceive His provision.

But I believe there are things He is up to that are outside my range of sight.

I know there is healing that I can't see.
I know there are reasons to hope that are outside my view.
I know there is future joy that is now hidden.
I know there are glimmers of redemption, but I can't see them.
I know there are flashes of purpose that are now invisible to my eyes.
I know He is drawing beauty out of the ashes, even though it's all happening outside the realm of what I can see.

I really needed this reminder today that there are things happening outside of what I am able to see. Because not seeing them is tough! They aren't in plain sight, and are even beyond my peripheral vision. But it doesn't mean they aren't happening. And you and I are called to a certainty of what is unseen.

Father, I am so grateful You're up to our good and Your glory--even when we can't see.

Collide

HELP ME HELP YOU

SO MUCH FOR THAT

EMPTY CUPBOARDS

I AM A MOTHER OF FIVE

MISSING LETTERS

DREAM YEAR WEEKEND: These Are the Game Changers

TO HAVE AND WITHHOLD

grumble, grumble / GOD IS GOOD!

LURKING

AN *I* FOR AN *I*

THE DREAM YEAR

WHY I DON'T FREAK OUT AT THE AQUARIUM

THE FATHER'S DAUGHTERS

THROW AND GO

I KNOW WHAT I WILL WANT

THE LIMITED VIEW

EXAMPLES

SOMETHING'S GOTTA GO

DEAR JESUS: (Shut Up!!!)

DOESN'T FIT

I AM IN DESPERATE NEED

ACKNOWLEDGE

A RUNNER'S WATER BREAK

ONE WAS NOT ENOUGH

THE MORNING PRAYER THAT MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE

WHY DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?

UNKNOWINGLY PASSED DOWN

"YES" DAY

EVENTUALLY EXHAUSTIBLE

WORRIED ABOUT THE WRONG THING

WHEN IT'S OKAY TO INTERRUPT

THE UNPOPULAR HALF OF THE VERSE

I DID IT

THE AUDIENCE OR THE STAGE

IF YOU COULD PRE-HEAR YOUR EULOGY

THANKFUL STILL

THE TIME WILL PASS ANYWAY

*SQUISH*

ASSOCIATED

SIT AND HAVE A MOMENT

HIS LEGS, HER HEART

TRUSTING IN A PULL DATE

DO THE NEXT THING

ANNOUNCING "COLLIDE"

JUSTICE FOR YOU, GRACE FOR ME

THE "SOMETIMES" RABBIT OWNER

BLOGGING MOJO

NO EXCEPTIONS

THERE IS NOTHING FOR ME...

SPELL IT OUT FOR ME

SHALLOW SMALL GROUP

SINCE QUITTER:1-Month Edition

BECAUSE OF TOMORROW, WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN TODAY?

APPLAUSE FOR STAYING

A TITHE OF TIME

READY OR NOT...

DOGGY BAGS

COUNTERINTUITIVE

IF YOU ONLY HAD SIX WORDS

WHERE I WAS WHEN THE THUNDER BOOMED

DEAR "FUTURE YOU,"

I DON'T WISH I HAD BARBIE LEGS

QUITTER

NEGLECT

LOOKS READY TO ME

COMMUNICATION IS KEY - The Blog

MARRIAGE AND WORSHIP

WHEN YOU DON'T GET THE "FEAR" MEMO

THE PRODIGAL PATIENT

HIGH MAINTENANCE

TEARS

MESSING UP THE BLESSING

I WANT IT GONE

I HEART SAFETY AND COMFORT

LIBERTY, SCHMIBERTY

TIME TO GO, TIME TO STOP

PLANTING TREES

IF IT WAS ONLY ONE OF THESE THINGS...

SOME NEVER MADE IT THERE

AN I FOR AN I

SQUISH

YOU OWN HOW MANY PAIRS OF PANTS?