Wanting

What does the Lord owe us? Are we due anything?

Anything?

I can see why this world trades up all the time. Apart from Christ, this life here is as good as it is ever gonna be, so it better be good. I know I'd feel that way! Just sit back and watch...you'll see people trade up cars, houses, jobs and spouses. Not to mention constantly upgrading TVs, furniture, and countless different gadgets.

Always. Wanting. More.

Should we be able to have all we want? How about if we are 100% justified in wanting what we want? Are we owed health, long lives, and relationships that work the way they're supposed to? And does anyone have the right to stomp their feet if they don't have these things?

My life is full and rich. I feel so blessed, I can hardly take it all in. But I want sometimes. And the things I want are very legitimate, even woven into my heart by the Lord Himself. So what happens if this life of mine comes and goes and my legitimate wants never materialize? Do I have the right to shake my fist at God simply because the things I want--but don't have--are legitimate?

Sovereign God, You have fulfilled countless desires of my heart--not yet all of them. But You don't owe me anything. Not wealth, not health, nor a life free of hardship. You don't owe me as many years as I hope to have on this earth, if in Your sovereignty You know it's best to bring me home before I would choose. And if not one more of my "wants" is fulfilled in my lifetime, You are good, and You are plenty enough.

You don't owe us the plans we've mapped out for our own lives. You don't owe us a ministry that does what we hope it will--even if we're doing it all for You, nor are we due the number of children we once hoped we'd hold in our arms. You've poured out so much, and we praise You for it all--but we're not owed any of it. What about couples who long for children but may never have them, and all the people who long to be married but remain single year after year? Did You owe Your disciples--Your friends--a painless death surrounded by loved ones looking on? That wasn't their fate. Each one of them entered into the glory of Heaven through the most terrible deaths. Or how about Leah in the Bible, who had to have been able to pick up on her husband's lackluster reaction when he found out he'd gotten her for a wife--shouldn't she have gotten to have the joy of knowing she was adored and cherished, rather than spending her life knowing she was unwanted, and was left wanting for her husband's affections? Even my friend Evelyn Rice--a woman who loved You SO MUCH--suffered with MS for seven years before passing away, leaving her family wanting for her.

YET YOU ARE SOVEREIGN--LORD OF ALL--and You give as You have purposed. And when we're left wanting here on this earth, thank You so much that You are enough--totally sufficient to satisfy. There are things we just won't grasp until we see You face to face. We know that this time of wanting here on earth is a blink of an eye compared to an eternity of wanting no more.

Peace and Parasailing

When I was in college I had the chance to go parasailing in Hawaii. I remember paying my money and boarding the boat that was to take us out into the ocean. The boat captain had this maniacal laugh and a crazy look in his eyes as he took off. He floored it and we went tearing all over the water in the high winds. The 6 of us, all strangers to one another, seemed terrified as we held--white-knuckled--onto the boat for dear life. Once we got out into the ocean a bit, he slowed down, turned around and asked, "Who's first?!?"

Needless to say, I didn't volunteer.

Nobody did, in fact. Which meant the captain got to choose the first victim. Sensing my sheer terror (and undoubtedly preying on it), he picked me.

I was having serious second thoughts at this point. I mean, if I was having to hold on for dear life down in a boat, did I really want this guy dragging me through the sky, attached to the boat by a rope and some fabric? No, thank you.

Seemed I couldn't get out of it though. So they hooked me up and before I knew it, I was drifting up into the air. But I wasn't expecting what happened next...the higher up I went, the quieter it got, and the further up the chute carried me, the calmer the winds seemed. I could still see the now-tiny people down on the boat, still whipping around the water and getting wind-blown, but my own experience was become more and more different than theirs. And by the time I was up a few hundred feet, it was dead silent and the winds were completely calm. I just took in the magnificent view.

If ever there was a time that I really "got" what peace is, it was in those moments. We talk about "Peace on Earth" a lot this time of year, but what does that even mean? I don't think it's the absence of calamity, but rather a quietness in the midst of it, because we know that God is God, and that's plenty sufficient. As I drifted along way up in the air, chaos was not far away. It was visible to me, but I was not experiencing it. Up there I only knew quiet...and peace.

There's chaos in life, and if you're not up against calamity today, it's rounding the corner, for sure. But in Jesus Christ we can experience something different than those who don't know Him. We can fully acknowledge our circumstances without being tossed to and fro by them. We stand firm in Him.

Lord God, You are the Prince of Peace, and You live in me. I am indwelled with peace! Thank you that, in You, I can see chaos and calamity all around while walking in peace in the midst of it.

Where's Jesus?

This morning I was up early, tidying up. I was putting some books away when my eyes fell upon our nativity scene that sits on top of our toy bin shelf. Everything was in place except the most important part--the baby Jesus was missing.

I discovered He'd fallen onto the floor next to the toy bin shelf, and I put Him back where He belonged. But as I continued folding laundry, I realized that so far this December I've been all about the stuff of Christmas. Now, when I say stuff I don't mean the commercialism or the presents--it's more the traditions that I've put on a pedestal. Like right now as I type this, the house is lit up with Christmas lights, there's a fire in the fireplace, the aroma of mulled apple cider fills the air, and Christmas music is playing. It's beautiful. We've been doing our advent calendar each day, and at dinner each night we pray for the families who sent us a Christmas card that day. I LOVE traditions, and I LOVE this time of year.

But I haven't yet given a great deal of thought to Jesus' birth as much as I have these beloved traditions. Maybe I hold extra tight to tradition because I'll be 3,000 miles away from the ones who passed down those traditions to me, the ones who taught me early on that family is something precious. But as great as all these things are, Christmas isn't even about them.

Two years ago my grandparents sent a box of presents to us, and I took the presents out of the box and placed them under our tree. I was about to throw the box away when I realized it felt like something else was in there. So after another look, under a piece of cardboard in the box was a scrapbook my Grandma Eileen made of photos of me from birth until my teen years--some I'd never even seen before. She even included letters I'd written to them when I was really young. It was perfect, and it still means the world to me. Can you imagine if I'd missed out on what ended up the most valuable thing under my tree?

If I had, it still would pale in comparison to going through December with all its beauty and traditions and missing JESUS. I want to love Him more this Christmas, more than the traditions, more than family, more than anything. No idols before Him. Not even traditions that surround His birthday.

Immediate Reaction to Hurt

Over Thanksgiving we were visiting family in Nashville, and we all went over to see the lights at the Opryland Hotel (amazing, by the way). I went in to use the restroom and the door to the stall swung shut pretty hard and--BAM--smashed the ever-lovin' heck out of one of my fingers. Immediately I put my hand up to try and minimize the throbbing.

So I'm standing there in a bathroom stall in the Opryland Hotel, hand raised, thinking to myself, "What is typically my immediate reaction to pain?" And I was thinking of emotional pain, like when I'm hurt, betrayed, or wronged, or even spiritual pain, like when I don't get what the Lord is up to, or when I'm disappointed that He moved things in a different direction than I had hoped.

Is it to immediately lift my hands?

Do I sulk, pout, vent to a friend, try to drum up sympathy, or do I lift my hands up to the one who formed my heart and has the power (and the desire) to bind it up and heal it?

It's been a week or two, and my finger is still a bit tender, but the pain isn't so great anymore that I need to walk around with my hand up. Even THIS speaks to me. We can rejoice in suffering because we know it produces in us a reliance on God of which we're just not as mindful when we're not hurting.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10
There was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

But Joy

Happiness is...

* a living room lit up only by candles, Christmas lights and a fireplace fire, and looking at it all while cuddled up with my family
* a flight booked to California
* date night with Justin
* listening to Trevor sing the "Doh-Dohdey-Oh-Doh" part to "Goodnight Sweetheart Goodnight"
* putting pigtails in Aila's hair and them watching them bounce around as she dances
* praying over my family
* getting booked to speak
* knowing child care is figured out for the children
* making a new friend
* a phone call to a lifelong friend
* having my quiet times by a lit up Christmas tree
* belly laughter
* loving going to church
* sleeping in
* dipping Oreos in milk
* green lights when I'm running late
* coupon savings
* warm clothes from the dryer
* getting Christmas cards and praying for each family that sends them

BUT JOY....joy. Joy is a baby wrapped in strips of cloth, lying in a feeding trough. Joy is stripped down, simple, but magnificent all at the same time. Joy is abiding peace--calm in the midst of chaos--it's quiet colliding with cattle that are lowing and visitors who just felt compelled to come see the newborn king.

And joy is the steadfast knowledge that God is God, and God is good even when all of these "happiness" type things don't fall into place. There are lots of things on this list, and they're wonderful.

But joy surpasses them all. Happiness is not a given, not always readily available due to our circumstances. But joy is.

Joy to the world, the LORD has come
Let earth receive her King!
Let every heart prepare Him room
and Heaven and nature sing...

Booked : )

November 22nd. I awoke with this terrible cloak of discouragement over me. Justin took Trevor downstairs for breakfast and I stayed in bed and just prayed. Normally I'm up early and downstairs, but that morning I stayed put and poured out my heart to God.

"I am so discouraged, Lord. I really believed you have called me to speak truth. But year after year after year has passed...where are the opportunities? It feels like I'm stuck in a wasteland!"

I really said these words. Especially wasteland.

I'd just hit a wall. I asked, outloud, why the Lord would SO burden my heart to proclaim truth, and yet not provide an avenue in which to do so. I had spent 2 hours the day before preparing for...well, I didn't know what. Just preparing, researching, putting in time to develop teachings that would be for, well, once again, I didn't know what. I think that's why the next morning I found myself asking, "What's this all about?" And I've been here before...a few posts back I wrote about preparing in the desert.

I opened up to Isaiah 43, which was really just where I was that morning as I've been reading through Isaiah. And I was struck by verses 19-21:

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; Don't you perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert and streams in the WASTELAND.
The wild animals honor me--jackals and owls,
because I provide water in the desert and streams in the WASTELAND,
to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself
THAT THEY MAY PROCLAIM MY PRAISE."

After reading those words, I felt like I had new strength to keep going. Even in a pre-answers, pre-opportunities time, I felt ready to keep preparing once again for...whatever.

Well...ONE HOUR LATER, I was asked to speak at Cobb Vineyard Church's Women's League Kickoff event on January 22, 2010.

I am beyond grateful, beyond excited. My God WAS doing a new thing--springing up in the midst of my discouragement. Did I perceive it? No! But He was making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. I wish I had words to adequately convey my joy, my thanks. I love that He wants me to simply be in on what He is up to.

One month, twelve days to go until the kickoff. It's going to fly by. Good thing He kept prompting me to prepare--He knew what was coming!

The teaching is entitled "If I Do Not Lift My Hands to the Throne..." I'll close with the lyrics from the song that will accompany the teaching. I think the words are so very fitting:


I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned
in awe of the One who gave it all
I'll stand--my soul Lord to You surrendered
All I have is yours


Truly in awe of the One who gave it all.

You're In a Battle

"No weapon that is forged against you will prevail."

Yesterday I had the privilege of speaking these words over my son. Sure, I elaborated so that it would all make sense to my four year old.

We talk a lot about how he is indwelled with the Holy Spirit since he asked Jesus to come and live in his heart. But we also talk about how there is one who is NOT our friend. I have spoken to Trevor about the enemy, Satan. And I tell him that this enemy tells us lies and wants to take things away from us. He does NOT have good plans in mind for us as our God does.

Sometimes Trevor says he wishes he could fight Satan, and I tell him that we do fight with a sword--the Word of God. And THAT is how we do battle. I tell Trevor that every time he says one of his Bible verses that he has been learning, he is doing battle against the enemy.

"No weapon that is forged against you will prevail" (Isaiah 54:17). I love this verse! Anything that comes against you, against me, against anyone who Christ indwells, WILL FAIL. It will not stand, it will not succeed, it will not prevail! Greater is He who is in us than the one who roams the earth, intending to steal, kill and destroy.

I don't just say these things to Trevor in his waking hours. We sang together last night until he fell asleep, and then I began praying that truth over my son. I really am desperate to see him walk in truth throughout his life, and to LOVE the name and renown of our Almighty God. I want his life to be all about doing damage to the devil's schemes as he proclaims the truth of the Word.

The Kite Pictures

When we were getting married, Justin and I went through a lot of childhood pictures for a video for our rehearsal dinner. I thought it was really cool that each of us had a "kite picture." But then I took a look at the backs of the pictures and discovered they were taken only 3 weeks apart. So in the same season with 3,000 miles between us, we were two children out flying our kites in the wind.

There's no way we could anticipate that He was ordering our steps and that our lives were being unfolded in the way they were. But exactly 20 years later, that little boy and that little girl were pledging to walk the rest of their days together.

I think sometimes we don't live in enough anticipation. And it really affects the way we live. I think if we were to get a quick glimpse of what was in store, we'd make some different decisions, walk in God-confidence, and basically LIVE ACCORDINGLY. Even then I was the future Mrs. Thea Nelson, even though I didn't know it.

If we knew the way the Lord is preparing us now for future blessings and future glories, what would it change? Neither Justin nor I knew what God was up to back then...BUT HE WAS NO LESS UP TO IT! And sometimes just because we don't have things laid bare before our eyes, we assume nothing's in the works. Not true!

So now I consider that you and I are the future ______________________ (something to be determined), but whatever it is, I know it is for His glory and the renown of His name. And just because the evidence is not yet before our eyes does not mean it's not in the works.

Will I live accordingly? Will you?

When It Feels Like a Waste

Ever feel like what you're doing is just a waste?

Let me paint you a picture. Feel free to fill in the blanks with your own situation.

So basically Isaiah is chattin' it up with God in Isaiah 49.

God says, "You are my servant, and you will bring Me glory."

But Isaiah replies, “But my work for them seems so useless--like it's all in vain!
I have spent my strength for them without response. Feels like it's for nothing and to no purpose. It's all a WASTE."

Sound familiar? In Isaiah's case, it was all about the fact that he was laboring on Jerusalem's behalf and seeing nothing come from it.

What is it in your case? What's that thing that feels utterly useless?

Your time poured into a ministry?
Your hours spent building into the lives of your children?
Your efforts in your marriage?
Your prayers for the one who really needs them but refuses to recognize it?

Ultimately, though, even in the midst of what feels like wasted time Isaiah says, "Yet I leave it all in the Lord’s hand;
I will trust God for my reward.”

And God Almighty replies,

“At just the right time, I will respond to you.

And I will make My mountains into level paths for them.

I WILL comfort you and have compassion on you in your suffering.

You say I've deserted you and forgotten you. Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child?
Can she feel no love for the child she has borne?
But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have written your (YOUR, reader!) name on the palms of My hands. Always in My mind is a picture of Jerusalem’s walls in ruins (i.e. your walls, your circumstances, what you're going through--it is EVER BEFORE MY EYES).

And the bottom line is this: Those who trust in Me will never be put to shame--those who hope in Me WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED (that means YOU, you person reading this blog right now. When you have trusted ME for the outcome, your trust is not misplaced).”

So you seemingly have nothing to show for your labors. Your efforts seem to yield no fruit--I mean, zip, nada, nothing--or maybe just far too little fruit for your liking. It's frustrating, I know.

But today we can claim truth over it all. We can love and serve confidently, knowing our walls are ever before Him--He sees it all--HE KNOWS.

So what's that thing that FEELS like a waste--a waste of your time, your efforts, and probably most importantly--YOUR HEART?

It is not a waste. It is NOT a waste. IT IS NOT A WASTE! Those who hope in Him will not be disappointed. "Do not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" (Galatians 6:9).

"Rorry."

Lately my tiny Aila has been doing things that warrant an apology. Nothing too terrible, but an "I'm sorry" is in order.

And when she apologizes, it comes out, "Rorry." So when she smacks her brother (who, between you and me and the deep blue sea, just might have had it coming), she gives him a hug, a gentle touch, and has to tell him she's "rorry."

It happened this morning, even. Hit. Hug. Gentle touch. And "Rorry."

In those moments, I want to scoop her up and give her a million kisses, because there is something so precious to me when I get glimpses of her contrite heart. Even when she has to have a quick time out, she melts into me in a new way when it's over. My heart is tendered toward my children when they hurt over something they've done (in their own 2-year old and 4-year old way). I think it's appropriate, whether we're young or old, to be grieved by our own sin, and to come to the Lord in apology -- where He will surely welcome us.

Makes me think of Psalm 51:17: The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

He welcomes us warmly when we come in confession and contrition. We are not met with an angry hand, but with open arms. And when I as His daughter return to Him, with love He receives me when I come to say I'm "rorry."

My Hands in the Trash Can

This morning I was holding my favorite pair of earrings as I leaned over the trash can. And thanks to my "spoiler alert" title of this post, I'm sure you can guess what happened...

For those not so quick on the uptake, I dropped one of my earrings right into the trash can.

Unfotunately, the trash was pretty full, and the earring was pretty tiny. So dooooown it went.

Had I not loved this pair of earrings, I would have just let it go. I mean, all kinds of fun stuff was in that trash can. Egg shells, and the dirt emptied from the vacuum cleaner, to name a few. It was gross. But thankfully, after some digging, I retrieved my earring and washed it off. A couple of times.

A far deeper loved motivated my Jesus to go "dumpster diving" for me several years ago. My life was in a pit of sin--I was wearing the muck and the mire of my depravity. And yet I was worth it to Him, and He went in for me and pulled me out. He made me clean--white as snow, in fact. Covered in righteousness where filth had once been.

"He redeems my life from the pit and crowns me with love and compassion" (Psalm 103). Beautiful!

Within Boundaries

We've discovered something new about our new dog Jack. We can open up the door and he'll run out, do his business, and come back in.

UNLEASHED!!!!

This is foreign to us! Our last two dogs were total escape artists. If we were to ever try that with them, they'd be halfway to the Dakotas within the hour. We always had to keep them on a leash if they were outside at all.

I was kind of mulling this over this morning. Even though Davey and Sadie were constantly running away, I loved them so much. And I don't love Jack any more than I loved Davey and Sadie just because he stays within the boundaries. But I cannot tell you how happy it makes me that he does. I mean, I am just ecstatic to see that little doggy running around the yard, all the while staying within the boundary lines.

God's love is for those who are constantly crossing the lines just as much as it is for those who stay within them. But how it PLEASES Him when we walk within the way He has established for us. Psalm 16:6 says, "The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." His boundaries are good. They preserve my life.

There are lots of days when I don't even want to cross the boundary lines He has established. I recognize them as pleasing. But then there are other days when I just don't feel like being "confined." And on those days I'll wish I didn't want to cross them, but I do. Lord, where I want to cross the boundary lines, let me desire to do what pleases You more. I know You love me regardless, but I want to obey. So please strengthen me to trust that You have loved me so much that you set up boundary lines for me in pleasant places, and have prepared for me a delightful inheritance. And I know that to believe I'm being confined and constricted is a lie, because true freedom is only found within the boundaries You have established. "I RUN in the paths of Your commands, for You have set my heart free" (Ps. 119:32).

Poverty and Scarcity

This week it's come to my mind more than once (okay, several times) how I used to sleep soundly through the night and sleep in (until about 7-ish) most mornings. "Used to" is the operative phrase here. But not lately. No, lately the Word has been beckoning me at the most ridiculous hours. Yesterday at 3am I just had to know what the Bible says about being sustained (see two posts down from this one). I could not wait until morning to learn what it says about the way God upholds us. And while it's not always at crazy hours, I'm still usually beckoned out of bed a little earlier than I'd like to be conscious. But it's a hunger that pulls me out from under my comfy covers, excited to encounter what the Lord has prepared for me to come across in those pages. It's like I cannot wait for the collision between my heart and the truth I know awaits me.

So as I've kept thinking these past few days about the sleep I've lost, a passage from Proverbs ran through my mind. I knew it word for word but didn't know the reference--and that's the cool thing about being in the Word--it was just one of those verses I've read enough times that it was being embedded deeper into me each time I did, even though it's never jumped out at me until now. Well, after a bit of searching, I found the words in Proverbs 24. Verses 33 and 34 say:

"A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest,
and poverty will come on you like a bandit, and scarcity like an armed man."

To me, this has always meant that a lazy man will be without. But this morning the Lord spoke to me about all the times when I did sleep through what should have been my quiet times and said,

"Those days were marked by poverty and scarcity....

Poverty of spirit. And scarcity of fruit."

Wow. I mean, wow. What a terrible shame! But I have to look at it from the flip side...So if the opposite is true now--if my life is now marked by wealth of spirit and abundance of fruit, then it seems that giving up a few zzzzz's is hardly too high a price to pay.

More Podcasts!

A few more podcasts have been added -- Click HERE to listen!

The most recent podcasts are:

Jodianne Adams - Treasure Map / Putting it Back in the Box
Rae Cook - Spiral of Simple Obedience
Thea Nelson - No Flame for the Candles

Blessings!

Sustained

Recently a friend asked for prayer that she will be sustained. So last night I woke up in the night and began praying for her, and as I prayed I felt the Lord revealing.

It seemed He was saying, "I already AM sustaining her."

Then he gave me a mental image of a woman in a boat out in the middle of the ocean. She was frantically moving arms and legs in a swimming motion. Someone else in the boat asked, "What are you doing?" And she replied, "I'm out in the middle of the ocean--I have to swim or I'll sink!" Her friend says, "Right, I get that--but we're in a boat. The boat is holding us up and keeping us from sinking."
It really spoke to me. In the midst of vast oceans in which we could so easily fear slipping under, we need not fear. He is under us, around us, over us and within us. He is sustaining us. He is that boat we're in out in the middle of the water. No need to frantically flail about--He is holding us up.

I felt prompted to pray differently--not that He WILL sustain her, but more that His sweet sustenance, which is already in full effect in my friend's life, would be undeniable and more than evident to her in all her ways--that she will stand in God-confidence knowing He upholds her cause.

"So do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will UPHOLD you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10

Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who SUSTAINS me.

Psalm 54:4

That is Some Seriously Strong Breath

No, I'm not talking about that person in your office who seriously needs a Tic-Tac.

In my quiet times I've begun to notice a recurring theme about the power that is in the breath of God.

It is spoken of OVER and OVER throughout the Bible.

So what does it matter? Well, this is the powerful breath that BREATHED life into you, His creation, so that you may live. It's the same breath that BREATHED all Scripture, making it powerful enough to teach, rebuke, correct, and train in righteousness. And it's the same power we find in Christ BREATHING His last so that you and I may live.

But there's more...
* At the blast of his BREATH, they are destroyed (Job 4:9).
* By His BREATH the skies became fair (Job 26:13).
* The BREATH of the Almighty gives understanding (Job 32:8).
* The BREATH of the Almighty gives me life (Job 33:4).
* His BREATH produces ice (Job 37:10)
* His BREATH sets coals ablaze (Job 41:21)
* Valleys of the sea were exposed and the foundations of the earth are laid bare at the blast of BREATH from His nostrils (Psalm 18:15).
* The starry hosts were made by the BREATH of His mouth (Psalm 33:6).
* With the BREATH of His lips He will slay the wicked (Isaiah 11:4).
* His BREATH is like a rushing torrent (Isaiah 30:28).
* The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the BREATH of the Lord blows on them (Isaiah 40:7).


Now that is some seriously strong breath.

Let everything that has BREATH praise the Lord.

Psalm 150:6

Red Light, Green Light

I really don't like red lights. Okay, so maybe it isn't so much the light that bugs me, but more the fact that I don't like being told, "Nope, not your turn. Can't go now. Gotta wait."

Today I left North Star's communion and prayer time--an AWESOME time in the middle of the day to meet with the Lord--and was running a couple of minutes behind as I headed to a meeting. "Come on, Lord--I need some green lights here," I prayed. So I came to an intersection, only to get stopped at a red light. I furrowed my brow and waited for the light to turn.

So I kept driving and came up on the next intersection. A green light! And the next intersection--also a green light! Things were looking up. And do you know that I drove the rest of the drive there--almost 6 more miles and at least 8 more stoplights--with nothing but green lights? I made it to where I was going in record time!

I pulled into the parking lot and headed in for my meeting, all the while marveling that I had hit every green light except the first one. And in that moment I realized that the annoying red light I'd encountered had actually set the pace for me to hit all the rest of the lights when they were green!

I've come to a red light or two in my life, and I've usually gotten annoyed at having to wait, having to stop, having my pace interrupted, having to just be okay with the fact that it's just not my time and not my turn. But each and every red light has made a way for me to hit green ones at just the right time further down the road.

So the next time I get frustrated at the red lights, I need to remember that THE LORD ORDERS MY STEPS. And every "stop" prepares the way for every "go."

The Tenacious, Ginormous Spider

The mother of all spiders has been hanging out on my sliding glass door for weeks now. He's nothing short of huge...and tenacious as all get-out.

I first posted about him on our family blog a few weeks ago. Here he is (this is the back of him):

I feel like I'm learning a thing or two from this spider (or mini-tarantula). Every time we open the sliding glass door, the web is torn. Every time it rains, it knocks the whole thing down. But over, and over, and over again, that spider keeps spinning the most magnificent webs. If one gets destroyed, he's back at it again, and in no time we've got another masterpiece in the doorway.

I've been a bit of a "One and Done" kind of girl in the past--like I don't do very well getting back up on the horse when I get knocked off. But I'm trying to grow in this. Maybe I just need to learn a lesson from that tenacious, ginormous spider on my back door.

In the Desert...Prepare

Isaiah 40:3

In the desert prepare
the way for the Lord;
make straight in the wilderness
a highway for our God.

I've been sort of chewing on this verse this morning. I think because the way the verse looks in my Bible is just like how it is above--and the line "In the desert prepare" was one line that almost seemed to jump out at me. And while I don't think it's a good idea to pull Scripture out of context, it was as though the Lord really wanted me to consider these words this morning.

In the middle of the desert, prepare the way for the Lord. Clear a way (how it says it in the Hebrew) for our God.

This is a bit of a desert time right now. And I have felt an urging of the Spirit to just keep preparing. I even had a conversation about this very thing last week--I just know this is a time to be preparing so that when the Lord says, "Here we go," I'll be ready.

But it's not just about preparing physical things--it's a heart thing, too. And I love how we're called to "clear the way" for our God. So in my heart, what needs to clear out? Search me, O God, and know my heart-test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way ever-lasting--keep me from the path of temporal things and lead me along of path of things that with last FOREVER.

So can you relate to the whole "desert" thing? Maybe you're walking the wilderness, too. I really think that all we need to do is be faithful in what He has called us to do today, and in doing so, you are, and I am, preparing the way.

For the LORD!

How cool is that?

Won't Back Down

I never thought I would find myself deep in worship during a Tom Petty song, but it happened this week.

The closing song at church on Sunday was "Won't Back Down." I've heard it a million times before, but this time I heard it anew:

Well, I won't back down
No, I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
but I won't back down

I bet Tom Petty never imagined that his song would have some girl ready to stand up with arms raised. I didn't, but everything in my spirit responded when I heard those words. I had been feeling a bit discouraged in ministry this week and found myself questioning my call a bit. "Toss in the towel" has come to mind a time or two this week--After all, right now is a season of preparation for things to come, but when the "things to come" are unseen, it's easy to cease praying, cease preparing, and back right on down.

But I can't back down, and I won't back down. Too much is at stake. And as for discouragement in my calling? Well, all I can say is that GREATER IS HE WHO IS IN ME THAN HE WHO IS IN THE WORLD. So you can stand me up at the gates of hell and I won't back down.