HELP ME HELP YOU

My interaction with God the last few weeks has felt eerily similar to this scene out of "Jerry Maguire."

Have you ever felt like you are walking through an "up at dawn, pride-swallowing siege" in hopes of advancing the Kingdom? I'm there.

I. Am. So. There.

I have done all I know to do. Been on my face in prayer. Been still before Him. Purified my heart and even my body to be consecrated for His purposes. Hustled. Run up against brick walls. Been rejected.

And all I am trying to do is to put on an event to inspire people to open their Bibles.

I find myself begging God to help me serve Him. To let His favor rest on me as I run this race He has marked out for me.

But it seems quiet. A kind of "quiet" that is maddening to a girl who is working her butt off.

I wouldn't be surprised if God was up there saying, "You are hanging on by a very thin thread. And I DIG that about you!" I want to hang it up. Been tempted to do so several times this last week alone. But something tells me He will be glorified in my hanging on.

LORD God, let this be the quiet before the glory-filled storm! Break forth and come through in Your might and power. Make a way where there really seems to be no way! I am just trying to serve You faithfully. Please, please strengthen me to do so!

SO MUCH FOR THAT

I took a pregnancy test 7 years ago today.

It was negative.

I tossed it in the trash can, fought back tears and thought, "So much for that." My dream of being a mom wasn't going to be realized. Not this month, anyway.

Or so I thought.

The next morning was Valentine's Day. I jumped in the car to head out to work, but remembered I'd left something upstairs in my room. I ran back into the house and was headed for my bedroom, but I suddenly stopped in my tracks. And, for no particular reason at all, I turned back toward the hall bathroom where my hopes had been dashed the night before. I walked into the bathroom, picked up the trash can, looked inside, and saw it.

A positive pregnancy test.

To this day I don't really know how to explain it. I just know there was one line the night before (I waited plenty long enough before checking the test, trust me), and the next day there were two lines.

And eight months later, I was the mother of a beautiful baby boy.

How often do we discount what God is doing, assuming things just aren't going to happen--even if we have pretty legitimate reasons for thinking so? We think things are dead in the water, throw our hands up in the air and say, "So much for that." In our minds and hearts we put up headstones over the hopes and dreams we assume aren't going to be realized.

BUT GOD.

God moves even in our lack of perception of Him moving. When it appears something's dead in the water, He is often breathing life into the situation.

Even Lazarus' family, who had a pretty legitimate reason to believe all hope was lost for their brother (seeing as how he was dead and all), should instead have been preparing to celebrate his restoration to life. The story was far from over, and the glory of God had yet to be seen in that situation.

Be encouraged. Some of the very things you and I are tempted to write off as dead in the water are far from it.

I know. Because the proof of it is running around the house playing with trains right now.

Thank You, Gracious Heavenly Father.

I AM A MOTHER OF FIVE

I have five children.
1. My firstborn, "T." My understanding of love blew wide open when I first held him. I've lost count of the times I have stooped over my sleeping son and begged the LORD for my son's life to SHOUT of the greatness of our God.

2.My daughter, "Liley," who is essentially a bunch of joy crammed into one tiny person. I am desperate to see her walk in the safe and good ways of God all the days of her life.

3.My second son, whose name I know in my heart but I don't share. Stitched into my heart though never in my arms. It's okay. I will know him in Heaven.

4. __________________. I haven't met her yet, but I pray for her. Right now she's only someone else's daughter, but I am covering her with prayer as though she is my own. And when my son marries her, I will gain her as my daughter. I don't know where she is right now. But I am already crying out for the hand of God to preserve her and protect her for the life she'll share with our son.

5. _________________. I haven't met him yet, but I pray for him. Right now he's only someone else's son, but I am covering him in prayer as though he is my own. And when my daughter marries him, I will gain him as my son. I don't know where he is right now, nor his name that my daughter will one day take. But I am already crying out for the hand of God to preserve him and protect him for the life he'll share with our Liley.

Father, please keep us praying for the ones our children will marry! Bring this to mind often so we will persistently pray over our future sons and daughters!

MISSING LETTERS

A B C __ E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Guess what's missing from my keyboar*?

Turns out, not having that one letter really hin*ers my ability to easily communicate.

*o you ever feel like there are people in your life who are just annoying or *ifficult enough to make you wish you *i*n't even have to *eal with them at all?

The bo*y is not ma*e up of one part, but of many. If the whole bo*y were an eye, where woul* the sense of hearing be? If the whole bo*y were an ear, where woul* the sense of smell be? But in fact Go* has place* the parts in the bo*y -- every one of them -- just as He wante* them to be. The eye cannot say to the han*, "I *on't nee* you!" nor can the hea* say to the feet, "I *on't nee* you!" (1 Corinthians 12)

Sometimes you can't see how much you nee* a part of you until it's no longer at your *isposal. I once broke the thumb on my *ominant han*, and it was nearly impossible to accomplish anything that use* to come so easily. I also broke my baby toe a while back--It was amazing how that one teeny, tiny part of me ha* the capability to re*uce me to a pathetic heap on the floor when I caught it on a *oorway! An* the simple task of walking with a broken toe? Forget it. Even though the other 99% of my bo*y was fine, when that one tiny part was broken, the whole thing suffere*.

We nee* every part. Every part! Even those people who annoy the ever-lovin' heck out of you. Even the ones who aren't easy to love. Even the ones who stir the pot, say the wrong thing, and try to make everything about themselves.

True--maybe she nee*s to get over herself. And maybe it's an un*erstatement to say he's a work in progress. But so am I! I myself am in *esperate nee* of grace and un*erstan*ing. I certainly have no business *iscounting someone else's contribution to the King*om simply because they're *ifficult. Every part is important. The Bo*y just woul*n't be as effective without them.

Father, I nee* grace to see people as You see them. When I feel like a situation woul* be better without someone, allow me to see their great value in the King*om. Forgive me for sometimes writing people off or missing their great worth.

DREAM YEAR WEEKEND: These Are the Game Changers

We just rolled in a few hours ago from the Dream Year Weekend in Charlotte. I'm still marveling at how quickly friendships formed. Never before have I been put in an environment in which I knew nobody going in and felt like I left only 3 days later with a room full of lifelong friends! What an amazing group of creative, kind, genuine, and generous people.

Justin, the kids and I were at Dunkin' Donuts when a group of our DY friends came in. Fun surprise!Meet Carrie, an awesome mom of 3 who longs to see people's finances be an asset to their marriage rather than a liability. Tracy, a girl with a heart of gold who wants to have a wellness center/Christian yoga business--a girl who will YET see God's good and redemptive hand in her life. Lindsey, a make-up artist and creative who very obviously has a tremendous heart to encourage others.
Matt and Vanessa, parents to three girls and one more on the way, are a sweet couple who are looking to plant a church in the Boston area. Loved talking to them!
Carrie, then warm and genuine Diana who has a heart for young people and wants to provide a creative environment for them. John-Erik, who is one half of the Dynamic Duo (seen below)...

Thomas, a lawyer by day and creator of an interactive children's book by "dream." Lance, who shares my heart for the Word of God and is passionate about getting Bibles to Ugandans. Great guys.
Melissa, a talented photographer with a beautiful heart. KC, a natural encourager who has a passion to encourage worship leaders. Justin, a filmmaker and musician with a bright future ahead.
Dave and John-Erik, the Dynamic Duo of WonderGrove (love that name). These two guys are incredibly brilliant, but what impressed me far more than their truly impressive creativity was their kindness and sincerity. What genuinely great guys these two are. Ben Arment, coach of Dream Year. Wise, wise, wise! Wisdom and grace cover him in a very evident way. So grateful to get to work with him this year. Jason, a warm and genuine "architect of surprise-and-delight moments," and a fellow Atlantan.
And this wasn't even everyone! What a tremendous group. It was so awesome to hear the stories of these people who are desperate for their lives to be drenched with purpose, and for their God-given gifts to be used rather than shelved in the named of perceived security.

And yet as wonderful as the Dream Year part of the weekend was, I had Justin and the kids waiting for me at the end of each day. THEY are my passion and my dearest dream by a LONG shot, and I am beyond-expression grateful for the life we share.

I'm one lucky girl. :)

TO HAVE AND WITHHOLD

We were out in the middle of nowhere, but he was parched. So very thirsty. I kept driving until there was finally a place to stop, and I ran in and bought my little guy a liter of water. He gratefully glugged down half the bottle, and his thirst was satisfied. He even had a little smile on his face as we continued on down the road.

And then his sister grew thirsty, too.

She asked him for a drink of his water, for she too had grown thirsty. He furrowed his brow and wouldn't share.

Not even a sip.

He'd so quickly forgotten what it felt like to drink after feeling parched.

Jesus spoke of a man who owed a debt he couldn't even dream of paying--it would be into the millions in our day. The master was going to make the man sell everything to pay back the debt, but the man begged, "Be patient with me, and I will pay it back." The man's gracious master did one far better: He forgave the debt completely. The servant went away a man who was no longer indebted...

...and one who forgot how it felt for his debt to be paid.

The forgiven servant soon came upon a man who owed him hardly anything--only a few dollars, in our day--and he began to choke the man, demanding that the man pay him back the money immediately.

"Be patient with me, and I will pay it back," the man pleaded--but he was shown no mercy. Instead, the servant had the man imprisoned until he could pay every penny back.

When the master heard of this, he wasn't even kind of okay with it.

"You wicked servant!" He chastised. "I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?" The master then turned the unmerciful servant over to be tortured until he could pay back his debt (Matthew 18:23-35).

The servant had been shown mercy when he thirsted for it, but refused to show mercy to another who too was thirsty.

How can we receive the great measure of mercy we've been shown from a God who canceled every last bit of our insurmountable sin debt, and then refuse to extend mercy to those who wrong us? There's just no place for mercilessness in light of the mercy that has been heaped upon us.

Who needs us to offer a sip of mercy? Do we really have any right to deny them when we've been drenched with forgiveness ourselves? No matter what wrongs we've suffered, are any greater than the whole of our sins that have been fully forgiven of us?

Somebody is parched and in need of the refreshment of mercy today.

Will you share?

grumble, grumble / GOD IS GOOD!

I feel like I'm getting whiplash reading through Exodus!

From one passage to the next I feel like I'm riding a roller coaster of grumbling and grace.

In Exodus 14, God pushed back the waters of the Red Sea for the Israelites and wiped out their enemies. Seems they really could've coasted on that high for awhile, don't you think?

Nope. They went straight from the place of their celebration into one of desolation, and no sooner had their feet hit the desert, their whining began. Not entirely illegitimate whining, mind you--they were without water for three days. I might be doing some whining, too!

But if you'd just seen Almighty God push back the waters of the sea with His own hands, wouldn't you think He could take care of your thirst?

Apparently not. Grumble, grumble, grumble. Whine, whine, whine.

In the course of just 4 chapters the Israelites went from:

-Deliverance from their slavery in Egypt - God is good!
-to a parched place in Shur - *grumble, grumble*
-to camping literally right beside the water in Elim - God is good!
-to a place of famine in the desert of Sin - *grumble, grumble*
-to the provision of manna and meat as an answer to their pangs of hunger - God is good!
-to a lack of water at Rephidim - *grumble, grumble*
-to water pouring out of a rock at Horeb - God is good!

Up and down, up and down. They had hardly finished praising Him for the last provision when they began complaining about the next thing.

But I'm that way too! I forget how God has come through, how He has made a way and carved something magnificent from a plank of impossibilities. And I ride this spiritual roller coaster of grumble, grumble / God is good!

Sometimes we find ourselves saying, "God is so great now!" Like, now that He has provided. Now that a job or opportunity came through. Now that my children are behaving. Now that I'm seeing fruit from my efforts.

No, God is so great ALWAYS. He is always worthy of our praise. When we're parched, when we're without, when we hurt, when we see His hand at work, and even when we don't. God is great. God is good. Not simply "Now that I see His provision." Always.

LORD God, Steady us! We want more consistency in our trust of You. Bring to our minds the ways in which You've moved and made a way when we're in those parched places. Remind us of who You are and what You have done. We claim Jeremiah 17: 7-8: "BLESSED is the one who trusts in You, whose confidence is in You, for he has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Don't let droughts shake us, nor famines fluster us. Keep us confident in Your faithfulness. In the strong and mighty name of Jesus, Amen.

LURKING

When I was in my hometown last week, I took my kids to the park where I'd played as a little girl. I was excited to go back and let my own children play there, so my mom, my brother Marc and I walked the kids over.

Marc had his dog with him, so he stopped for a moment while we went on up ahead. Two minutes later my brother was right beside us saying, "Let's go" with an urgency in his voice. We gathered up the kids and headed home--and as we walked, he filled us in on what we hadn't realized was happening.

While Marc was with his dog, he noticed a man who had been lurking around, looking around. Marc said he saw the man lock in on me walking with my mom, probably eyeing my camera that looks extra fancy with the zoom lens and hood on it. Marc watched the man look this way and that, put up the hood on his black hoodie, and start moving toward us.

Marc grabbed his dog and began running toward us, which scared off the man in the hoodie. He was gone before we even knew anything was going on.

We have to be so careful out there. And I actually usually am pretty mindful of what's going on and am pretty guarded and careful in situations. But this was happening literally right behind my back, completely unbeknownst to me.

And it's happening in the spiritual realm, too. We must keep close to our Defender, anticipating the moves of an enemy who hates us--yes, hates us, and is looking to take, take, take anything good he possibly can from us.

He's dangling that thing in front of us, hoping we take the bait, because he knows it will hook us and entrap us.

He's hoping he can get us to believe God is holding out on us and will never come through for us. And if we're not spending any time in truth to remember that our God is always faithful and true--while in stark contrast our enemy is the father of lies--we're going to be an easy target.

We need to understand that while God is real and NO ONE is greater, the devil is real, too--and we've been warned. "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8). We must be covered with the full armor of God and on the lookout.

Almighty God, I pray for each person who is reading today, that you will make their minds wise to the schemes of one who wants nothing but to hurt them. Remind them of Your rich, lavish love. Remind them that You are endlessly faithful and can be trusted. Protect them from one who plots for their pain and destruction. Establish a mighty fortress around your children. In Jesus' name, Amen.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;
I have come that they may have life--life to the full.
Jesus' words in John 10:10

AN *I* FOR AN *I*

"Go, Moses. I am sending you to bring My people out of Egypt."

Talk about intimidating! When the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob stood before Moses and called him to this tremendous task, his eyes were, understandably, immediately on his own frailties.

"Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"

Good question, Moses. You were little more than a non-eloquent, slow -of-speech, wanted man on the run for killing an Egyptian. Who were you to take on such a task? Maybe we really shouldn't go there.

And God didn't.

The LORD Almighty didn't rattle off a bunch of reasons why Moses was the man of His choosing. He didn't try to inflate Moses' self-esteem with a pep talk about his stellar achievements and impressive qualifications. In fact, God's response to Moses' whole "Who-am-I?" thing had nothing to do with Moses. He simply said,

"I will be with you."

There was no need to gush over Moses' resume' because it wasn't even about him. It had everything to do with the One who would be with Him.

Who am *I* to be the one to do this?

*I* will be with you.

God simply traded an *I* for an *I*.

Even Gideon tried to ask his own *I* question: "But how can I save Israel?" And again, God traded an *I* for an *I*:

"I will be with you."

What are you facing that has you asking "Who am I to be the one to do this?" Maybe you've been called to something big, or maybe you're just the mom or dad of a child who is requiring everything of you. Maybe you're simply trying to get out of debt this year, and the task seems insurmountable. You're in good company if you find yourself asking "Who am I?" But whatever your task, it's probably not worth even asking about your own *I*.

Simply acknowledge His.

"I will be with you and will bless you." Genesis 26:3 God to Isaac
"I will be with you." Genesis 31:3, God to Jacob
"I will be with you." Exodus 3:12, God to Moses
"No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will never leave you nor forsake you." Joshua 1:5, God to Joshua
"I will be with you." Judges 6:16


* * * Happy New Year! * * *

THE DREAM YEAR

I have been chomping at the bit to make a super-exciting announcement:

* * * * * * * * * * * *
I'm in the DREAM YEAR Class of 2012!!!!

I first heard about Dream Year at the Quitter Conference. I looked Dream Year up online and began to pray over what I saw. It's all about living intentionally and doing what God gifted you to do--this has very much been the burden of my heart. I wanted to be in on it in some way--and, to be honest, I thought I was praying big when I thought about possibly attending the Dream Year Weekend in Charlotte, NC in January.

I remember it was the end of August when I sat down with Justin and asked him how he would feel if I planned to attend DY Weekend. I showed him the website and he read quietly for awhile. Then he called me over and said what I never, ever expected to come out of his mouth:

"Why don't you apply to be on the team of twelve?"

I opened my mouth, ready to rattle off half a dozen reasons why that just would not work. This wasn't simply one weekend--it was applying to join a team of 12 individuals in whom God has birthed a vision to do something for His Kingdom--a year of audaciously pursuing the call on our lives. Honestly, that was never on my radar at all--I thought the DY Weekend was a big leap of faith! But IN THAT MOMENT as I stood poised and ready to say why it would never work for me to apply, I KNEW I was in the midst of something tremendously of God. Like, right then. I don't know how to describe it, other than I knew this was going to be a faith challenge much like up-and-moving to Boston strictly on God's leading had been 12 years ago.

As I stood there with my mind mulling over the possibilities at hand, Justin said these words to me: "Why WOULDN'T it be you?" His words were a balm to every wound of rejection and an answer to every insecurity that had been drummed up in me. Oh, what a good, good man.

By October, I had the peace, confirmations, and enough savings to feel comfortable in applying. I knew the deadline was in December, so once I applied, I knew I was in for a bit of a wait.

While I waited, I began to forget. I forgot of how I'd felt the Holy Spirit stirring in my heart the day Justin first said I should apply. I forgot how God had given such peace the week I applied. I forgot I had anything to offer, by the grace of God.

For me, the nail in the coffin was when, a week or two before the deadline, I saw online that applications had been streaming in for the Dream Year Coaching. That was kind of it for me. I really assumed I wasn't going to be in on it. Surely what I was passionate about wasn't going to make the cut in light of all the amazing things I see people doing.

* Saturday, December 10th. The application deadline date. I spent the day just kind of aware of the fact. I wasn't holding my breath at that point though.

* Monday, December 12th. I'm chosen! But I didn't know yet because I was sound asleep when word arrived. An email of congratulations was sent to me at 11pm that night. (I LOVE that this blessing had my name on it for hours before I knew about it!!)

* Tuesday, December 13th. 6am. I stumbled downstairs, still bleary-eyed and needing some coffee. I picked up my phone and saw that I had an email. And the subject of that message?

Welcome to Dream Year. :)

Still half-asleep, I wondered if I was dreaming. I read and re-read I don't know how many times. I sat down in the dark of my living room and cried and shook like a leaf for a good 5 minutes!!!

And then I read my Bible. And prayed. Bliss.

You know what was so beautiful about that moment? I KNEW God had made a way. He had to--there would have been no way for me any other way! Out of a plank of impossibilities, He carved out His way for me. And those were the sweetest, most glory-filled few moments. I imagined God absolutely GIDDY at the sight of His child realizing that He had made a way for her. I'll never forget it!

And then after those moments with the One who made a way, I ran upstairs and showed Justin the email. Justin, my husband who has listened to me vent my passions and frustrations and burdens all these years now, celebrated and rejoiced with me. It was beautiful.

My one concern was that some of what I had saved prior to applying had to be used for other obligations, but I kept assuming I wouldn't be given the opportunity anyway. So when I got word I was part of the team, I had 10 days to gather the payment--and I was short! But between selling a bunch of items around the house and the amazing love of friends, I had every penny. And, once again, God carved a way out of the plank of impossibility. Awesome.

And so, by God's grace, I'm in! My Dream Year project has to do with developing an event geared toward encouraging believers to open up their Bibles, to see its relevance to their lives, and to fall in love with the Word of God. That's the nutshell version, anyway!

On a side note: A few months ago I wrote a blog post called Because of Tomorrow, What Should Happen Today? about the passage from Joshua 3 that says, "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you." I cannot tell you how many times in the past 2 to 3 months that I have heard the whisper of the Holy Spirit saying, "Ready yourself." Well, now as I look back? Gosh, no wonder He wouldn't let up on that!

I welcome your prayers. God has been more than good and gracious to let me in on what He is doing. I want this event to bring behavior change, yielding in heart and life change. I want my life to be about furthering the Kingdom, and I feel compelled to point believers toward the Word! Please pray for my own personal time in God's Word in 2012. I want to cling to Him and bring Him glory. Pray for my family time to be protected. Pray for my heart to be right.

Thank you for rejoicing with me! God has brought to mind many ideas already---I cannot wait for 2012!

P.S. In January I get to go with Justin, my son, and my daughter to Charlotte, NC for the Dream Year Weekend (for free)! It was something God had in mind all along.

It just wasn't ALL He had in mind. :)

WHY I DON'T FREAK OUT AT THE AQUARIUM

Being at the aquarium doesn't scare me. Yes, that shark is looking right at me. Sure, those jellyfish are only inches away from my children.

But they're on the other side of some tremendously thick and strong glass. They're there. But it's not like they can really get us.

If you are a believer in Christ, then living in a constant state of fear is a lot like freaking out at the aquarium. Can you imagine walking through the corridors in a constant state of panic over what is on the other side of the glass?

There's no need. Nothing can really get to you.

As believers, we have the hope that nothing in this world can REALLY get us. Sure, there's trouble. Yes, there's suffering. Jobs evaporate, homes are lost, government makes decisions that affect us all. It can look like our fate rests in the hands of man, which is a scary thought. But that is far from the case. What power do they really hold over us? What can anyone REALLY do to us?

Hope envelopes us here. Heaven awaits us there.

Jesus has overcome the world that gives us trouble, and death has lost its sting. Almighty God is our fortress, our strong tower. The righteous run to Him and are safe.

Consider the thing that right now draws up fear in you. As you go through this day, declare that it holds no real threat against you. You are in the strong and protective hands of God. As close as that threat may be to you, in Christ it is on the "other side of the glass." You walk about in safety (Prov. 3:23) -- no matter what.

In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust;
I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?
Psalm 56:4

In God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
Psalm 56:11

The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
Psalm 118:6

So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?
Hebrews 13:6

THE FATHER'S DAUGHTERS

There's a Hooters Restaurant in town, and we drive by it from time to time. My kids often ask if they can go into "that cool place with the owl on it." My answer has been "no" more times than I can count, and without explanation. But finally I told my son that we don't go there because sometimes men don't treat women with respect there. His response?

"Well, I have a great idea. Why don't Daddy and I go there sometime, and he and I will be REALLY nice to all the ladies!"

I muffled a laugh. Incidentally, yeah...that's not going to happen.

Seriously though, it hurts my heart to see ANY woman being objectified. Nothing wrong with noticing beauty. But for a man to purposefully enter a restaurant with the intent of staring at women's chests outside of any sort of relationship with them is just plain wrong.

I think of the frightening trend toward objectification of women in our world. Everything to the trafficking of girls, to the sexualization of girls' clothing, to places that are built for men to go and stare at women's bodies rather than look them in the eyes. You say you're just going there "for the wings"? Brother, please. Nobody's buying that.

But I believe I'm not half as upset about it as our Heavenly Father. We know His thoughts on lust. But lust at the expense of His beloved daughters? I cannot imagine how His anger burns over the way His daughters are treated. Our God is slow to anger and abounding in love. But do I believe He is angry over this? Absolutely.

When I was about 12, my dad picked me up from dance class one night. And as we headed out to the car, two teenage boys made a comment about my body. Well, hell hath no fury like a father whose daughter's body just got commented on! It wasn't pretty. And should anyone dishonor my little girl? I promise you my normally-mild-mannered husband would be on that like white on rice. There would be NO tolerance for the mistreatment of his little girl.

How much more for the Father who made us?

We were fashioned by loving hands--hands that intended for us purity and honor. He is enthralled by the beauty He made in you and me--altogether lovely are we! I am no object--I am Somebody's daughter. And my own daughter will head out into this world someday. I want her to know who she is in Him--and expect to be treated that way.

Don't worry, I'm not going to close out with the lyrics to "I'm Every Woman" or anything like that. :) I just think it's time for a reminder of who we are in Him.

THROW AND GO

My husband tells the story of a time he went hiking with a group of guys, one of whom was huffing and puffing and having an especially tough time making it up the side of the mountain. Things made a bit more sense when they reached the top and the guy plunked down, pulled a ginormous watermelon out of his backpack and asked, "Anyone want some?"

Now, I have enough common sense not to try and huff a huge watermelon up the side of the mountain (or to try to climb a mountain at all, for that matter). But I sure can relate to trying to take a little too much baggage on my journey.

I can't get Hebrews 12:1 off my mind lately: "Let us throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." My wonderfully loving and creative God has set a course for my life--a race I was made to run. But how can I run with my arms wrapped around a watermelon? How can my strides lead me to where I am to go with its vines draping down around my legs and tripping me up?

I can't. I cannot possibly run the kind of race in the kind of way I was meant to when I'm holding on to hindrances.

I need to drop my watermelon and run. You need to drop your watermelon and run. We were made for an abundant life and we will miss too much of the set-aside-for-us abundance if we do not grab hold of whatever holds us, throw it off, and run like our lives depend on it--Because, in fact, the abundant life really does.

WHATEVER is keeping you from running with reckless abandon the race God has set before you, pull it off and RUN. If anything (or anyone) draws your eye away from total devotion to Jesus Christ--even if you have to pry it off, then do so--and RUN.

Throw and Go.

You may think this is just about you, that only you are affected. Not even! "Throwing and Going" impacts generations. Can you imagine the heritage your children will receive through you throwing off what hinders and entangles? By feverishly pursuing the path God has for you? By pulling off whatever is holding you back? By walking (running) in obedience to the God who goes out of His way to bless the upright?

Or you can just keep running with that giant watermelon in your hands. Sadly, that impacts generations, too.

And think of those around you who need you to throw off everything and run. Consider the people who make an impact in your own walk with God. You need them running their race unfettered so that they can speak truth or serve or minister to you. But there are those who need YOU to run YOUR race unfettered so that you can do the same for them. We run first and foremost out of love and obedience to our God. But we also owe it to the people around us to run our race right, because of the impact it will have on them. There are people around YOU who are waiting for you to run right and fulfill the call God has uniquely placed on YOUR life, because they will be blessed by you running your race unhindered.

What's your watermelon? What's that thing you're trying to huff along with you as you run the race marked out for you? I don't even think it's that we don't want to run the race God has for us; We just want to be able to take all our stuff along for the run.

Throw off everything that hinders you.
Throw off the sin that so easily entangles you.
Run with perseverance the race marked out for you.

Throw and Go.

I KNOW WHAT I WILL WANT

"This is the one!" I gushed, pointing to a poofy-sleeved wedding dress in the JCPenney Wedding Dresses catalog. I smoothed the pages and beamed with pride, fully expecting my parents' elation to match mine.

"So here's what I'm thinking," I announced. "Wedding dress prices are sure to keep going up, so what if we buy this one now and save it for when I get married? I know this is the very dress I'm going to want, even if it's 10 years down the road."

I was 14. Aaaaand absolutely, one hundred percent serious.

I don't know how my parents kept a straight face. Their answer was something along the lines of, "Um...that would be a NO."

I was a little bit crushed. I was so sure I knew what I was going to want down the road.

My parents knew better.

Because, truth be told, by the time I actually did get married, my tastes had changed just a tad. And I think I might have *cried* if I'd had to get married in that poofy-sleeved monstrosity! I do not know what possessed me to think that all that abundant fabric billowing around my shoulders would be a cute look. And on my eventual wedding day, I donned a lovely, simple gown. With thin little sparkly straps rather than shoulder poofs so big as to obstruct my side-to-side view.

But I'd been so sure I knew what I was going to want down the road.

Think back over your life--over the things you were convinced you had to have, over the people you were sure you wanted to take the journey with you, over the way you were so certain you wanted it to go.

Were you right?

I wasn't. SO not right. I wasn't right about a lot of things I was so sure I would want long-term. And the way that I found out I wasn't right about them was by receiving what God intended to give me all along. And then, all of a sudden, what I was so sure I would want quickly paled in comparison to what my Ephesians 3:20 God held before me.

Thank goodness my parents didn't give me what I was so sure I wanted. And thank goodness God doesn't, either! His ways are higher than mine, and perfect forever. He does not change with times or styles or seasons. What He gives is lasting--and right.

And so right now as you consider that thing, that person, that opportunity you are absolutely convinced you will want long term, at least entertain the thought that God might have more for you--And that perhaps one day, when you hold His immeasurably-more-than-all-we-could-ask-or-imagine gifts He has given you, you'll think of all the things you wanted as little more than poofy-sleeved wedding dresses boxed up in a closet.

You think you know what you want--and what you will want. But--glory to God--you might just be wrong. :)

Now to Him who is able to do
immeasurably more
than all we ask or imagine,
according to His power
that is at work within us,
to Him be glory in the church
and in Christ Jesus
throughout all generations,
forever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21

THE LIMITED VIEW

If you want to know what's going on around you, then don't look around you.

Wait....What?

On my way to work I always come to this "VEHICLE APPROACHING WHEN FLASHING" sign. It's at a bend in the road with very limited visibility, so rather than looking left and right before turning onto Burnt Hickory, I have to stare straight ahead at the light to know whether it's safe to turn right or left. If the light is flashing, then a car is coming (whether I can see it from my vantage point or not, it's coming). If not, it's clear--and safe for me to proceed.

Seems counter-intuitive to look straight ahead rather than right or left, but it's the safest way.

Because there are cars coming around the bend just beyond where I can see them, and if I pull out simply because I can't see any cars coming, I could get hit. So I cannot trust in what I see when I look side to side--my view is just too limited. I have to stare straight toward the light and take my cues from it.

There are things that you and I can't see in the limited view of our humanness. We can't see that that "harmless" flirtation could eventually cause one heck of a train wreck, and that's why our God urges us to run like heck (my paraphrase) from sexual immorality--and even from the steps that could potentially lead toward it. Harmless? Hardly. It's not a game, it's not a fun diversion. It is a catastrophe waiting to happen. And maybe we can't see that one swipe after another of our credit cards is going to land us in a financial collision eventually, but that's why there are constant urges--just in Proverbs alone--not to proceed into obligations of debt.

When we look around at our circumstances, they may appear safe. But that's exactly WHY WE CAN'T look to our circumstances--we just can't see what could be coming around the way that is currently beyond our view. We need to fasten our gaze straight ahead on Jesus and on His perfect Word, because it brings to light what is hidden and speaks to what we cannot see.

And on the flip side, there are times when victory, redemption, and enormous joy are just outside our limited view. We can't see any fruit from our faith, but it doesn't mean it's not on its way. There may be something absolutely glory-drenched right around the bend that is about to collide with our lives in the most beautiful way.

Maybe it's the family who has prayed for years to be matched with a child finally being told there's one waiting. Maybe it's the brother coming to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ when you weren't sure it was ever going to happen. Maybe it's the job for which you've been praying that lands in your lap just as you were about to give up hope. Proverbs 2:7 says that He holds victory in store for the upright, and the Hebrew word for "in store" suggest that the victory is hidden--unseen. But that victory is very much in store for us, nonetheless.

Want to understand what's going on around you? Don't look around you! Stare toward the One who brings understanding to our oh-so-limited view.

Let us fix our eyes on JESUS,
the author and finisher of our faith.
Hebrews 12:2

No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
and no mind has imagined
what God has prepared
for those who love Him.
1 Corinthians 2:9

EXAMPLES

I love looking at trees right after they've lost their leaves.

Because I don't just see uncovered branches and unadorned limbs. I don't just see "Nudie Trees," as my 3-year old calls them.

I see my examples.

These trees have endured wind and rain and storms that have blown away every last leaf until they stand naked.

And with nothing left, their arms still stretch toward God.

When the winds blow and the storms come against us, leaving us stripped of everything we have, when we're emptier than we've ever been, when we've run out of our own strength, do we crumble into a heap on the ground?

Or do we stand in His strength and raise hands in worship to our God?

You will go out in JOY and be led forth in PEACE.
The mountains and hills will burst into song before you,
and the trees of the field will clap their hands.
Isaiah 55:12

*Happy Thanksgiving this week!*

SOMETHING'S GOTTA GO

Maybe--just maybe--it's time to not be serving where you're serving.

When I was 22, I got a call saying that a few of the pastors at my church wanted to meet with me. I was a scandal-free kind of girl and didn't have any big skeletons in my closet, so I wasn't too worried--but I was a little curious as to what they had to say.

When I arrived for the meeting that day, Pastor Ken and Pastor Tom sat across from me and spoke some hard-to-hear, but important, words:

"Thea," they started, "you're involved in a lot of areas here. And we fear for you the potential of burnout. If you keep at the pace you're going, you're liable to begin to dread or resent serving--and ministry in general."

It was true--I was all over the place. I led worship, helped with the children's choir, participated in the adult choir, was on the ministry team for the college group, and was a leader in the high school group.

"We want you to take a month off. From everything," they continued. No serving anywhere. Just take this time to pray about where God wants you. Consider where you're really excited to serve. Then come back to that. If it's to all 5 ministries, great. But if it's just to one, then come back to the one and serve with all your heart."

I won't lie, there was a part of me that felt a bit hurt. Why don't they want my service? I wondered. But the more I thought and prayed about it, the more I realized they were giving me a gift in encouraging me to evaluate where I was serving. WHY was I serving? Was I passionate about all of those opportunities? Was I gifted to serve well in all of those areas?

That month-long hiatus was tough at first. I felt like I'd go stir-crazy sitting at home on the nights when I used to have somewhere I had to be. But by the end of the month, there was great peace. I knew some things had to go. Almost everything, in fact.

I returned to only one out of the five ministries.

I returned to leading worship--that was it. And you know what? The other 4 ministries didn't fall apart without me. In fact, other people stepped in to spots that I had once occupied, using their God-given gifts and talents to lead and serve. We can assume we're supposed to serve all over the place. But sometimes when that happens, other people who are gifted and equipped to serve won't do so because they see the spots are filled--sometimes by people who might not even be strong in serving in those areas.

My pastors cared about me, and were wise to encourage me to assess my service. And their wisdom remains with me to this day. I don't just jump into every opportunity and assume every spot is mine to fill.

I don't know what it is about having somewhere we have to be that can make us feel needed, nor how having an empty spot in our planners can make us feel empty--but it's very much the case. We really have to be honest when we assess WHY we're serving. Sometimes these things I do for others in the name of ministry have a lot to do with ME and very little to do with YOU.

It was appropriate for me to let go. Not easy. But appropriate.

Consider the areas in which you're currently serving. Are you passionate about them, or are they obligations to fulfill? Are you actually good at doing what you're doing, or were you basically "voluntold" to sign up? And, most importantly, did you PRAY about committing to those areas in which you're serving before you agreed to do so? And finally, have you possibly spread yourself so thin doing so many different good things that you have a sinking feeling you're not really doing any of them well?

Sometimes something's gotta go. Be honest. Pray. And then discern what is to stay, and what is to go.

* Check out this GREAT POST from Tentblogger. He speaks to the need to let God prune our service to make it more fruitful. Similar to this post, but written far more eloquently and compellingly! :)

DEAR JESUS: (Shut Up!!!)

I'll never forget one of the most legendary prayers ever spoken in our house:

"Dear Jesus, (Shut up!) We just love you so much (Get away from me!!!!) and we pray that you will help us do the right thing (You stupid!)--Amen."

Ah, the bedtime prayer of a boy who is trying to pray AND fight with his little sister at the same time. He was basically sandwiching his conversation with God in between bouts of sibling rivalry.

But really, is it any different than what a lot of grown-ups do?

We spend our Sunday mornings in worship, but then get into an argument with our spouse on the drive home.

We tell God in prayer that we would go to the ends of the earth for him, but an hour later we speak harsh, critical words to those around us.

We speak of our love for God but slander the very ones He made.

We thank God for forgiving us, but refuse to extend mercy to another.

We basically sandwich our worship of God in between our battles with man. And if I can see the tremendous dichotomy between my son's loving expression toward God and his unkind words toward his sister, then why can't I identify these same discrepancies in my own life?

LORD, let our love for one another be real-- and rich with grace. There's just no room for us to worship You and then turn right around and lash out at each other.

Above all else,
have a severe love for one another,
for love covers a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8

If you keep on biting and devouring each other,
watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
Galatians 5:15

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another;
be sympathetic, love as brothers,
be compassionate and humble.
1 Peter 3:8

DOESN'T FIT

I'm a curvy girl with a work-in-progress kind of body. I could try all the live-long day to squeeze into Size 4 jeans and it just wouldn't happen for me. It's not like I'm into elastic waistband territory or anything, but you're not going to find me trying to fit all of this into a pair of jeggings.

As a follower of Christ, there are some things that just don't fit me, either.

Gossip doesn't fit in my mouth as His follower.

Unforgiveness doesn't fit in my heart as His disciple.

Judgement doesn't fit on me as one who has been shown mercy.

So what does fit on a child of God?

PRAISE.

It is FITTING for the upright to praise Him (Psalm 33:1).

Worship is the garment that fits on a believer. Acknowledgement of God is what fits on a follower. A life of praise is what fits on you and me when we call Him LORD of our lives.

Praise the LORD. How good it is to sing praises to our God,
how pleasant and FITTING to praise Him!
Psalm 147:1

I AM IN DESPERATE NEED

I need the LORD. I mean, desperately. I get that there is no hope for me apart from Him.

I need the LORD right now--today. I need His strength to seek His face. To love my husband and children. To be self-controlled and pure. To be busy at home. To not lose my cool. To keep going. To not wreck my life. To use my talents. To believe who I am in Him. To love others. To be in His Word. To look to Him for my worth rather than clamoring for the acceptance of man. To stand up under lies and rejection. To overcome. To trust that He is making a way in the desert where I don't see it. To be confident in His provision and timing. And I need His forgiveness, for I have come up short more times than I can bear.

I've been unloving, unjoyful, unpeaceful, impatient, unkind, ungood, unfaithful, ungentle, and un-self-controlled. I NEED the LORD. I need the work of His Holy Spirit in me. I need Him to help me be the woman He wants me to be, because apart from Him I am a lost cause, and would be worthy of being written off.

BUT GOD.

If ever there was a song that captured my story and spoke to my need (and His beautiful response to it), it's this one:

If the truth was known and a light was shown
on every hidden part of my soul,
most would turn away, shake their heads and say
"She still has such a long way to go."
If the truth was known you'd see
that the only good in me
is Jesus.

If the walls could speak of the times I've been weak
when everybody thought I was strong,
Could I show my face if it weren't for the grace
of the One who's known the truth all along?
If the walls could speak, they'd say
that my only hope is the grace of Jesus--
The grace of Jesus.

And oh, the goodness and the grace in Him,
He takes it all and makes it mine,
and He causes His light in me to shine
and HE LOVES ME
with a love that never ends
Just as I am, not as I do,
Could this be real, could this be true?
This could only be a MIRACLE
This could only be the miracle of mercy.

MIRACLE OF MERCY * Steven Curtis Chapman

* To listen, Click HERE. One of my lifesongs,
and it still moves me to tears.