UNKNOWINGLY PASSED DOWN

"Oh, my word, I could HUG YOU!" I said to my friend Angie when she brought me a Coke in the hospital after I'd had my son. I'd had this insatiable craving for soda, and once I had delivered, I was so ready to have an ice cold bubbly Coke.

Well, guess what a nursing mother should most certainly NOT drink, unless she wants her newborn to get all hopped up on caffeine? Let's just say that Night Two of my son's life was a little rough.

It didn't even occur to me that what I was guzzling down was going to affect my child. And that it wasn't gonna be pretty.

When one of my children was still quite young, I used to watch old episodes of "Friends," without concern that they would pick up on anything. At that young age, surely everything would go right over their heads, right? Nope. My child heard--and learned--an unsavory word (a word my husband and I do not say, thank you, Joey and Rachel), and then proceeded to say this unsavory word at a birthday party with a lot of my husband's co-workers within earshot. Good times.

What I was taking in was affecting my children more than I realized.

But then just yesterday as we were driving, I overheard my child singing quietly in the back of the car, "My one defense, my righteousness--Oh God, how I need You." I didn't set out for my child to necessarily learn that song, but it's been what I've been listening to the car.

And what I was taking in was affecting my children more than I realized.

The conversations we have.
The shows we watch.
The music we play.
The things we read.
The places we go.
The things we do.

What we say/watch/hear/read/do will affect our children more than we realize. Maybe they're right there alongside us, seeing and hearing as we see and hear. But even if they aren't right there, the things we take in will either tender or harden us--and our sons and daughters will most certainly be affected by the overflow of our hearts.

* When you think about your children being affected by what you take in, does that make you happy...or concerned?

"YES" DAY

"When you become a mom one day, be sure to say YES when you can. And, believe me, you'll be able to say yes more than you'll realize--or sometimes more than you'll want."

I was only in high school when my mom's friend said this to me--a full 10 years before I would become a mother myself. But there was something about these words that always stuck with me.

My son's birthday was this week. One of his presents was a really cute book I found at a book fair called Yes Day. It's about a young boy who gets one "Yes" Day a year. He asks for pizza for breakfast; The answer is yes. He asks to use hair gel for spiky hair; It's a yes. He asks for a piggy-back ride, to clean his room tomorrow, to stay up late. Yes, yes, yes.

We read the book together, giggling at the fun pictures, smiling at the sweetness. And then we told our son that, on his birthday, he could have his own "Yes" Day.

I braced to have to say "No" on at least something. But you know what? I didn't have to. He didn't ask to drive the car, get a pet tarantula, or inquire about selling his sister for a Nintendo DS.

He just asked to go get frozen yogurt. He asked to follow a train that went by when we were out driving around. He asked to stop and play on the old caboose downtown. He asked to ride his bike. He even asked for some Cheese Puffs (Huh? How does he even know what those are??).

So we went for frozen yogurt. We followed the train. We got out and played on the old caboose downtown. He rode his bike. And yes, I stopped and got him some Cheese Puffs.

We didn't say "Not this time, we need to get home" when he asked to follow the train. Which is something I've totally said before, even though I had nowhere else I really had to be. I didn't say "No, buddy--maybe we'll play on the caboose later this week" like I've done in the past, simply in an effort to put him off. And when he asked for Cheese Puffs, I didn't go into some long tirade about the empty calories and chemically-processed electric-orange cheese like I totally ordinarily would have. I bought him a bag and listened to him happily crunch away in the back of the car on the way home.

It was freeing. And I think it meant more to me than it did to him.

I say NO too often--and for no good reason. "I can't sit on the floor and do a puzzle because I'll be in a world of pain if I do." Well, I did just that yesterday. Yes, it hurt (Thank you, sciatica and broken tailbone). But it also felt wonderfully right to plunk down and work on a puzzle with my kids. "No, you can't eat that. No, we can't do that. No, I'm too tired to read another book." Often my NO is spoken out of my own exhaustion or inattention, rather than a legitimate need to say no. Saying no is sometimes the easier answer--not necessarily the right answer.

My heart hurts just thinking of all the NO. Now, I'm certainly not saying I regret responding with a Necessary NO when I've had to. God has placed us over these children to give parameters and guardrails. A kindergartener has no business choosing their own diet, their own bedtime, nor their own rules on a day-to-day basis. God gives us wisdom to raise them up with boundaries for their own blessing and protection. There's a reason YES Day can't be the norm. And I can tell you that although he didn't grow an extra head from eating those Cheese Puffs, they probably won't be on next week's shopping list!

Sometimes the answer really needs to be NO. But it's the too-often-Unnecessary NO that grieves me.

Why not a YES when they want to read a fifth book? Why not a YES to stop and play on the playground when you know time will allow for it? Why not something that might make a bit of a mess, but will create a beautiful lasting memory in their minds?

I wanted to be a mom for the books and the puzzles and the painting, and to every "Can we?" to which I could say YES. Yes isn't the right answer every time, but perhaps it is more often than we may think.

And when we don't always make NO our Go-To answer without cause, it just might make our NO carry a little more weight when it has to get said.

EVENTUALLY EXHAUSTIBLE

I think $1 million is just crazy money. If my husband and I worked for 23 years and didn't spend a dime, we could finally bank $1 million.

But not Bill Gates. He's worth $56 billion. That's 56,000-millions of dollars. Beyond crazy money! That guy could buy his own football team with the change he finds in his couch cushions. He could do a crazy spending spree, and it would hardly make a dent.

But he COULD run out of money. He could spend every penny. He could exhaust it all. It would take a lot, for sure--but it could happen.

I think sometimes we view Christ's love like Bill Gates' net worth. Yes, His love is crazy plentiful--we'll readily accept that. But as much as we know in our heads that there's no limit to His love, I think there's something in me and maybe in you that wrestles with the lie that I can somehow exhaust it.

Yes, His love is huge and vast. But what if I manage to selfish-and-stupid my way to the end of His love for me?

Yes, His love surpasses any love we know here on this earth. But what if there's just enough of His love for a million of my failures--but I somehow reach a million and one?

It's true--God's love is huge and vast and all-surpassing.

But it is also inexhaustible.

Limitless.

Un-run-out-able.

If we sin a million times, His love is available for the next million. He meets us in our shattered state, binds up our brokenness, and keeps on loving out of His unending love for us.

"His love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me."

The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in love. As high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him."
Psalm 103:8,11

I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor demons, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation is able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:28-29

LYRICS: "One Thing Remains" by Jesus Culture

WORRIED ABOUT THE WRONG THING

Children selling cigarettes. Yep.

When I was in fourth grade, a group of my classmates decided to make fake cigarettes and cigarette boxes out of paper and tape. Then they sold these "cigarette boxes" to other classmates for 25 cents.

When our teacher found out, she was LIVID at them! But not for the reason you'd think.

You see, she wasn't too ruffled over the idea of 8-year olds making and selling fake cigarettes and pretending to smoke. But she was extremely upset that they were using her supply of paper and tape to do it.

Somehow it seemed that her concern was a bit...misplaced. In all her huff about the students using her paper and tape, she missed the most important element of the situation.

The Pharisees too were notorious for getting riled up about the wrong thing and missing the bigger picture. There was a man with a shriveled hand who sought healing from Jesus. The Pharisees wanted to see if Jesus would break the rules by healing this man on the Sabbath--and if He dared to healed the man's hand, they were ready to be all over that like white on rice, shaking their fingers and accusing him of wrongdoing!

Jesus called them out for worrying about the wrong thing. "Which is lawful to do on the Sabbath--" He asked those ready to accuse Him--"to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?" He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed by their stubborn hearts, said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." The man stretched out his hand and it was completely restored (Mark 3:1-6). And ooh, were the Pharisees riled up! Enough so to get the ball rolling on a plot to have Jesus killed.

The Pharisees weren't itching to praise God for the healing of this man--they were ready to judge Him for ministering to someone on the Sabbath. And as tireless lovers of the law, they would not stand for such a thing. They couldn't see that a man's hand was restored after years of uselessness. They just saw that it had been done on the Sabbath, and were none too pleased about it.

How are we too focused on the wrong thing? Do we get nit-picky and legalistic over the details, sometimes totally missing the miracles of what God is doing?

* In what ways are we like the Pharisees--loving laws and rules more than the work of God?

WHEN IT'S OKAY TO INTERRUPT

Picture a muzzle. Think of what it's for. It's a tool of submission and silence.

Jesus used a "muzzle" once. He was in Capernaum, teaching with great authority in the synagogue. Just then a man in the synagogue who was possessed by an evil spirit began crying out, asking if Jesus had come to destroy them.

"Jesus cut him short. 'Be quiet!' He said sternly. 'Come out of this man,' He ordered. The evil spirit shook the man violently and came out of him with a shriek (Mark 1:21-26).

Jesus didn't let this evil spirit continue to have the floor--he cut him off. The Greek word for what Jesus did in telling the spirit within the man to be quiet was *phimoo* which means to muzzle. He basically silenced and subdued that evil spirit with His words.

I believe that, in Christ, we have the same authority to cut the enemy off when he begins speaking. Who says we have to sit and listen to the father of lies? Do I really have to listen to him spew belittling and venomous words? And do you really have to give ear to his deceptive whispers about who you are and what you should do? Should he continue to find an audience with you and me?

NO.

In the authority that comes through the blood of Jesus Christ, I believe we can--and should--cut Satan short. Stop him mid-sentence. Silence him with the Word of truth. The moment he begins to taunt or tempt or torment, we can come at the evil one with Scripture--and muzzle him.

When the enemy opens his mouth, feel free to interrupt. It's the one time it's okay to cut someone off.

THE UNPOPULAR HALF OF THE VERSE

Just in the past few weeks I keep hearing the first half of James 1:27 quoted. Like, I've heard/read it a number of times. But not one of those times was the second half of the verse included. And I think it's because James 1:27B can be a harder pill to swallow than James 1:27A.

Here's the whole verse:

(A) Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: To look after the fatherless and the widow in their distress (B) and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
James 1:27

And then when I looked it up in my own Bible, I noticed that at some point I had underlined the first half of the verse at some point--but not the second half! "What's the deal with the second part of this verse?" I wondered. It just kept getting left out every time the verse was mentioned.

Since we're reading James in our small group, I brought this up for discussion: Is it perhaps easier for us to look after the fatherless and the widow in their distress than to do what it takes to keep oneself from being polluted by the world?

"I think so," said someone in the group. "Because I can write a check to give money to some people in need somewhere, but that doesn't mean I have to personally change how I'm living."

Exactly.

And it's true--somehow I do find it easier to do things like visit those in affliction or minister to the devastated than to personally refrain from what will stain me. Because what that looks like in your life and mine is:

*Skipping certain television shows and movies that are hilarious--but inappropriate for us who are called to keep ourselves unpolluted by the world. This one's not easy! We like our entertainment and can really let our guard down in this area. I know it's a frequent battle for me.

*Deciding it's not an option to be involved in salacious conversations. And while I may not be a big gossip girl, I know it's broader than that. It means not being sucked into the tabloids in the checkout line, or desiring to read about celeb scandals on the internet. This can be a tough one for me. But there's no other way to say it than this: Getting pulled into those is like taking part in a slanderous conversation, because even though we may not be the ones doing the talking, we're still choosing to listen to the words.

*Setting up parameters WAY far back from the line when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex. Adultery is rampant. Rampant! And the pull to it is strong, yet subtle. And sometimes this "WAY far back" thing is inconvenient. But it's part of keeping unpolluted by something that is prevalent in the world (not to mention well-worth whatever inconvenience is suffered in choosing this route).

*Not allowing money--or the seemed security of "enough" money (whatever dollar amount that might be!) to become our pursuit. Money itself is not the problem--but the love of money corrupts and pollutes. And refusing God a portion of what is His anyway is part of this. Holding "our" money in our tightly-clenched fists is a sign that the world has managed to pollute our thinking about money, and whose it really is.

Somehow it is easier to write a check, or make a meal, or pay a visit to the hurting than it is to NOT become like this world. Yes, we are to minister to the fatherless and widows in their suffering. Of course.

"But undefiled worship is (also) this: To keep oneself from being unstained by the world" (James 1:27B).

Yep, seems to me that if God included part B, then it's worth a mention and an underline.

Not to mention the action it requires of you and me so that it may be true of us.

I DID IT

"There you go!" my tiny little girl said proudly as she "pushed" open the door at church for me.

Only she didn't push it open for me. I pushed it open for her.

There is no way she has in her what it takes to open those heavy glass doors on her own. But when she pressed her hands against the door and pushed, I was right behind her putting my hands on the door and pushing it open. In her mind, though, she was the one who had done it.

As this scenario was unfolding, it felt familiar. Perhaps because it wasn't the first time someone has said "I did it!" without cause. Scripture is full of people who did not recognize God's hand in their circumstances. Even in this day and age, this world echoes the words spoken in Deuteronomy 32: "Our hand has triumphed--the Lord has not done all of this" (v.27).

Even my own mirror shows the face of someone who is not always aware of God's hand just plain accomplishing. Working. Fulfilling. I start thinking it's my doing. This must've all been the works of my hands, right? After all, those are the hands I can actually see pushing against the doors.

But let's be clear: I am not making a way for God. He is making a way for His will to be done. And in doing so, He is making a way for me.

Mighty God, thank You for this picture. I can see my own hands on a door that I couldn't possibly open on my own. And should it open and the only hands I see are mine, help me to perceive that Your strong and able hands were over mine, doing what I could not do on my own!

THE AUDIENCE OR THE STAGE

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen,
slow to speak, and slow to become angry."
James 1:19

I've read and heard this passage plenty of times, but this morning it came to life in a new way. I looked up the Greek word for "listen," and found that one of the meanings of the Greek word AKOUO is *to be in the audience.*

To be in the audience. I know I'm going to be chewing on that one for awhile.

Because--and especially for those who feel comfortable on a stage--center stage can have much more of a pull on us than an audience chair. The former holds the possibility of being heard and understood--and the latter, listening and learning.

But there's something in you and me that is drawn toward being heard and understood more than listening and learning.


We want the spotlight! Whether it's in a discussion or an argument, we may interrupt or even raise our voices, all in our desperate attempts to be heard and understood. I know I've been guilty of that.

But what if we were so desperate to listen and learn? What if we were so hungry to hear what others have to say than to have the chance to say what we think?

What if we didn't clamor for center stage?

And what if you and I were willing to choose the audience seat?

IF YOU COULD PRE-HEAR YOUR EULOGY

Last year I was at a yard sale with tables full of children's clothes. As I was looking through what they had, I overheard the homeowner's mother telling a shopper, "My daughter-in-law passed away two years ago. She worked all the time because it was always really important to afford cute clothes for her kids."

I turned around to see the woman smiling as she said these words. I thought she was saying them with sadness, but when I saw her face I realized she'd spoken them with a great sense of pride and joy.

I cringed inside. Now, I truly mean no dishonor to a woman who has passed on or to her family, but to be honest, I could not possibly care less if anyone says of me when I die that it was super important to me to have my kids well-dressed, or that I spent a lot of time ensuring it would be so. Sure, it's fun to get kids dressed up. But boy, do I ever hope other things than that spring to mind when my life is summarized in words.

But it got me thinking--what WILL people say of me when I die? What will they say mattered to me? How will they say I spent my time? What will they say burdened me? Broke my heart? Brought me joy?

When I'm remembered, will I be connected with trivial things? Maybe. Gosh, I hope not. But yes--maybe.

I wondered--If the people who know me best are to one day speak to my life and have to capture my life in only a few sentences, what will be said?

I'd be most interested in what Justin, my kids, my family, and my closest friends would have to say. I wish I could hear their unfiltered perceptions of what they perceived to matter to me. And it's not because I think it would all be glowing. It wouldn't! Those closest to me know that, really, truly, the only good in me is God within me, willing me to act according to His good purposes. Apart from His love and mercy, I am one broken girl.

There's just something in me that wishes I could hear it all now, when there's still time to change some things.

If there was time I was spending on something unimportant, I'd want to hear it. And stop.

If there were things I was called to do but never got around to it, I'd want to hear it. And start.

If my words weren't loving enough, I'd want to hear it. And change them.

If my actions didn't line up with what I said was true, I'd want to hear it. And get busy living like I say I believe.

If there were wrongs I didn't make right, I'd want to hear it. And right them.

If my priorities were out of whack, I'd want to hear it. And reevaluate them.

My Grandpa Tom died a year ago today. And I still say that he lived on purpose with his eyes on Heaven more than almost anyone else I've ever known. Do I say it to be nice--even respectful? No. I say it because of all the things I could say about him, it's the thing that jumps out the most about him as the mark of his life. So to sum up the 85-year life span of my grandfather in a nutshell, he loved Jesus and knew he was just passing through this life on his way home to be with Him.

It doesn't matter to me if anyone ever says I dressed cute (Uh, they won't, I promise!) or that I was brilliant or successful (Again, they won't--my SAT score would convince you). I hope I'm remembered to be a loving wife and a mom who cared desperately about leaving a legacy. And in time, give it maybe 50 years after I'm gone, my name won't be remembered anyway. And I'm okay with that. I want this life I've been given to be about lifting up His name. And I hope the Kingdom of God will be advanced in small part through the life He gave me.

When the music fades into the past
When my days of life are through
What will be remembered from where I've come
When all is said and done?

Will they say I loved my family,
That I was a faithful friend?
That I lived to tell of God's own Son
When all is said and done?

Of how I longed to see the hour
When I would hear that trumpet sound
And rise to see my Savior's face,
See Him smile and say, "Well done."

You can forget my name
and the songs I've sung
Every rhyme and every tune
But remember the truth of Jesus' love
When all is said and done.

-GEOFF MOORE - "When All is Said and Done"

* Would you want to pre-hear what will one day be said about you? If you could hear people's unfiltered perceptions of what they believe mattered to you in your life, do you think it would change anything about the way you live?

Teach us to number our days aright,
that we might gain a heart of wisdom.
May the favor of the LORD our God
rest upon us;
establish the work of our hands for us,
yes, establish the work of our hands.
Psalm 90:12, 17

THANKFUL STILL

Ongoing gratitude.

It's easy to be thankful once. Like, right when something wonderful happens. Right when the vows are being said. Right when the baby lets out its first cry. It's easy to give thanks in those moments.

But then there's ongoing gratitude. The kind of thankfulness that doesn't let up. The kind of gratitude that is just as present on Day 100 as it is on Day One. Rare, perhaps. But really, really important.

I keep thinking about this lately because my daughter is so good at ongoing gratitude, and I want to learn from her. Often when she gets dressed she pauses and says, "Thank you for buying this shirt for me, Mommy. And thank you for getting me these pants." She thanks me for the toys I've given her and the food I've made her. And not just the first time, but often thereafter.

Maybe it's excessive, perhaps it's unnecessary. But it keeps gratitude fresh in her heart, and that's never a bad thing.

Because it's not too difficult to be grateful on your wedding day. That isn't much of a stretch. It's easy to acknowledge the blessing of your spouse when everyone's dressed up in tuxedos and satin. But perhaps it's a lack of ongoing gratitude for one's spouse that is at the root of many a divorce.

And it's easy to be grateful for a newborn child. Before the 1,200th diaper has been changed or the temper tantrums kick in, it's really not too bad! But an absence of ongoing gratitude for our children is what leads us to believe our children are burdens rather than blessings. We begin to forget that we've been entrusted with God-made, glorious people to raise up, and rather we begin seeing them as the ones who stand in the way of _______________ (fill in the blank--More sleep? Fewer stresses? More ME time? 80% less laundry?)

And last but not least, what about an ongoing gratitude that Jesus did for us what we couldn't possibly do for ourselves? How would your day or mine unfold differently if at the front of our minds was the cross of Christ? I can tell you that this very day of mine might have gone differently if my mind was saturated with thoughts of ongoing gratitude for the fact that I have been shown unfathomable mercy and grace. But nope--I was thinking of a million other things today--the least of them, gratitude. And it showed. But after a time of worship, of reminders of what my God has done when I deserved it least, there was gratitude once again. And my mind was clear to know how to rightly act and react once gratitude was restored.

Ongoing gratitude. For our jobs. For our homes. For our food. For our churches. For our families. For our friends. It's ridiculously important. And yes, I am trying my best to learn that from my 3-year old who seems to get it much more readily than I.

Be joyful always, pray continually.
Give thanks in all circumstances,
for this is God's will for you
in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18

THE TIME WILL PASS ANYWAY

There's an excuse--a pretty common one--that many of us use to not intentionally pursue using the gifts and talents God has given us.

At the Quitter Conference, Ben Arment told a story of a conversation he had with a woman about her longing to use her talents as a nurse. She was 35 and the nursing program would take her about 5 years to complete with her current schedule. "I just don't know about starting up this whole program when I know I will be FORTY by the time those 5 years pass," she reasoned.

And Ben responded, "You'll be forty when those 5 years pass regardless. You might as well be a nurse at the end of them."

And it's true. Here's a woman who believes God has woven into her specific gifts and talents to minister to people through nursing. But her fear of how long things might take to be able to serve in that capacity was lulling her into inaction.

I can be right there, too. Can you? If I can't be at the end of the process fairly quickly, I'm not sure I want to start it. Even if it means doing what God made me to do.

I'll be 35 in a few weeks. That story really resonates with me because even now I am tempted to shove my talents in the ground and walk away (an act that in Scripture was referred to as wicked and lazy--ouch!), all because I know that it may take years to really gain any sort of momentum in doing what I really, really feel called to do. I can see how my fear of how long things might take to be able to serve in this capacity is tempting to lull me into inaction.

Yes, I'll soon be hitting that lovely halfway mark between 30 and 40. And it's hard not to think that by the time I gain any sort of momentum in my ministry, it'll be too late. But something tells me that when we throw out phrases like "Too late," God is up there chuckling about our misunderstanding of time. I wanted to be serving in this capacity a decade ago. And five years ago, I started chomping at the bit. But what if I wasn't ready five years ago? I must not have been. And what if it isn't until I'm 40, or 40+ that God will use me in this capacity? Does that mean I shouldn't even bother walking in that direction now?

Will we be paralyzed from pursuing the calling God has on us, simply because it might take some time? Or will we be obedient to take the daily steps of our calling, no matter how long it may take to see fruit?

Do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the LORD a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.
2 Peter 3:8

Be very careful how you live--not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the LORD is."
Ephesians 5:15-16

Do not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Galatians 6:9

Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will be pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.

Ernest Nightingale

*SQUISH*

Last weekend we went apple picking and pumpkin patch-ing, one of our favorite fall traditions. You'd think there would still be plenty of apples the third weekend in September, but it was a little picked-over! After wandering from tree to tree finding nothing, I saw this yellow beauty hanging in a tree. (Happy dance!) I imagined taking the first crunchy, sweet bite as I reached up to pluck the perfect fruit from the tree...
...aaand *SQUISH* ...
My fingers met a mess of goo as they wrapped around the apple. The front side had caught my eye with its seemed perfection. How verdant! How sweet, I imagined.

Nope. How rotten.

So let me ask--What's your *SQUISH* story? We've all got one. What has managed to catch your eye, only to land you a handful of rot? When was the last time you were enticed, only to see something for what it really was once you could see it from another angle?

Maybe it was buyer's remorse. A relationship that was nothing like you thought it would be. A decision made that appeared harmless on the front end, but was anything but.

LORD, give us wisdom to look at things from all sides before we proceed. What looks enticing on the front side may really be rotten--help us to walk in wisdom and approach what appears perfect with caution. Your Word is perfect, Your way is flawless. And the enemy tries to make worthless and dangerous things visually appealing--even perfect. But give us pause and discernment when we find ourselves wanting what we're convinced is without flaw.

The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways,
but the folly of fools is deception.
There is a way that seems right to a man,
but in the end it leads to death.
Proverbs 14: 8, 12

ASSOCIATED

"You tell on yourself by the friends you choose."

King Jehoshaphat wanted to consult the LORD. He asked his servants to find him a prophet of God. One servant replied, "Elisha is around here--the one who was Elijah's right-hand man."

"Good! A man we can trust!" was Jehoshaphat's response.

And just like that, Elisha was ushered in. And really, Elisha's "in" was his association with Elijah. He was pre-trusted because of his connection to one who was known to be a man of God (2 Kings 3).

What do our associations say about us? And the company we choose to keep--what will others know about us based on those with whom we choose to spend our time?

We've been talking about this with our son lately as he navigates his way through friendships at school. We've said that he is to be kind to all and unkind to no one--but that he can--and should--exercise wisdom in choosing friends with whom he will truly connect himself. We're trying to help him figure out the elementary school version of walking with the wise.

And it's true, isn't it? Right or wrong, people make assumptions about us based on the character of those with whom we choose to surround ourselves. On Twitter when I'm figuring out whether or not to follow someone I don't know, I often look to their associations. Who follows them? Who are they following? There are times I follow because I trust their associations, and times I don't because I don't.

"He who walks with the wise grows wise, but the companion of fools suffers harm" (Proverbs 13:20). Those are two opposite-extremes outcomes! Growing wise because you've chosen to walk alongside those with wisdom--or suffering harm because of associations with those who choose folly. Opposite ends of the spectrum, for sure.

So based on your current friendships, are you destined to grow in wisdom, or to suffer harm? I'm not asking what you'd prefer to happen; We'd all choose to grow in wisdom, hands down. But based on your current connections and associations, can others assume you can be trusted? Can wisdom be your expected outcome?

Or should you anticipate being hit by the shrapnel of folly because you're standing way too close to fools?

SIT AND HAVE A MOMENT

This morning my son came downstairs into the dark to find me.

"Hey, Mommy?" he whispered.

"I'm here, Trev."

"I was thinking it would be good if, before our day starts, we could just sit and have a moment together."

I beamed. He couldn't see my smile, but I was thrilled he wanted to spend a bit of time with me before the day got underway.

We sat together in the dark, in the quiet of the early morning. We talked about picking out just the right hat for hat day, I told him today was his day to go to health class, and we prayed over the details of his day. That time was pretty simple. But it was really wonderful.

As I had my boy all wrapped up in my arms, I thought of how it pleases our God when we want to spend time with Him before our day gets underway. I pictured His delight in talking through the details of our day, and in our acknowledging Him before we hit the ground running.

He beckons us to a still, quiet moment with Him to order our day, to say "You are my God and I acknowledge this day as Yours" even before breakfast gets made, coffee gets brewed, and before we brave the morning traffic or tackle the day's To-Do List. First things first--sinking into God and declaring the day to be His and for His glory.

I'd forgotten how simple it can be. And how really wonderful.

HIS LEGS, HER HEART

What part of your children do you love the most? Maybe it's his crater-deep dimples. Perhaps you love her tiny freckles that look like flecks of gold dusted across her nose. Or maybe it's their kissable chubby cheeks.

For me, it's my son's legs and my daughter's heart.

I see the glory of God when I look at my son's legs. When I was 17 weeks pregnant, we went to doctor for our "Boy or Girl?" ultrasound visit. And as the doctor moved the wand back and forth over my growing belly, I saw on the screen a complete leg--femur, bent knee, tibia and fibula. It was so whole and so perfect. My son's entire body was only about 5 inches long in total from head to toe, and he weighed only 5 ounces at that point--Yet there it was. His beautiful, magnificent, glory-covered little leg. He was being knit together inside me--a thought I can hardly fully take in. And so now when I see him run and play soccer and ride his bike, I see those legs and think, "Glory to God."

I love my daughter's heart. It's obviously not something I can see, but sometimes when she hugs me close, I can feel her heart beating. And when I do, I get a glimpse of the glory of God. The sound is like a precious reminder of the way the LORD sustained, and continues to sustain, her life. Her heart beating is what allows us to hold her in our arms and watch her dance and grow and laugh and live. And it's a reminder that the absence of a heartbeat is why we have yet to hold our second son. During our second pregnancy, we had no concerns and took for granted that all would be fine. But a routine ultrasound found no heartbeat. We were devastated. But then came our daughter, our little A.G. With every prenatal appointment, I gratefully drank in the sound of her heartbeat streaming through on the little doppler machine. It was a glorious sound. Truly a GLORY-ous sound. Because even then, our Heavenly Father was fashioning my daughter's heart, strengthening it and enabling it to sustain her life. Glory to God.

You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139:13-17

Father, I love seeing Your glory splashed all over Your creation, but what a gift to see it on my own children. They have been fashioned for the very things of GOD! I'm just amazed at the works of Your hands. I praise You because they are fearfully and wonderfully made, and all I can ask is that his little legs will carry him to do Your work, and that her heart will be full of compassion, burdened for the lost, and consumed with love for You.

TRUSTING IN A PULL DATE

I've always wondered how they come up with the pull date to stamp on milk cartons. I'm sure there's some scientific way they go about it. Or maybe Jerry Seinfeld is right in his bit about the cows being the ones to tip off the milkers, turning around during the milking and whispering, "This stuff's July 3rd." :)

Either way, I totally buy into it. The milk in my fridge is stamped October 2nd, and I fully believe that milk will be good right up until the 2nd--and probably not a moment after. And standing in my kitchen getting a bowl of cereal ready, I have all the faith in the world in the little date that someone somewhere stamped on the side of my milk carton.

Why then am I less convinced about some of the things I read in the Word of God? Why do I put more stock in the pull date on my milk than in truths like

"The last will be first and the first will be last" (Matthew 20:16). If I really believe this, then there's really no need to worry about my ranking. In anything. I don't need to go first. I don't need to be at the front of the line. I don't have to even be right.

"Honor the LORD with your wealth and with all the firstfruits of your produce; Then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine" (Proverbs 3:9-10). It's right there in my Bible, but do I believe it? Am I totally convinced I can take that truth to the bank--and literally, to my bank account?

"He forgives all your sins--as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us" (Psalm 103:3, 12). Do I believe He's really talking about my sins? All of them? Am I slam-dunk convinced that His mercy is available to the areas in which I need it most?

And not only are we believing Him on the promises in His Word--are we convinced His warnings are certainly worth our heeding? Yep, I'm a believer that the jug of milk in my refrigerator is going to spoil after October 2nd, and am not about to try drinking of it after that point. But are we believing God's warnings that are stamped into the pages of our Bibles?

Do we believe that debt enslaves the borrower to the lender?
That the pursuit of any sort of illegitimate relationship will lead to entrapment?
That nagging is like a constant dripping to those who hear it?
That gossip separates close friends?
That pride precedes a fall?
That he who has the Son has life, but he who does not have the Son does not?

It seems sometimes we treat what we read in God's Word as just words, or even as nice ideas or mere suggestions rather than the definitive authority for our lives. I know I'm guilty of that. But we can take truth to the bank--both promises and warnings. If it's in the Bible, it is a given. It is certain. It is sure.

And it is far more worthy of my trust than some date on the side of a milk carton.

LORD, convince us in a new way of the truth we're encountering in Your Word. You've given it to us and fully intended it to be the last word--the perfect authority--in our lives. Strengthen us to completely trust in what we find on those pages.

DO THE NEXT THING

Do the next right thing. Do the next obedient thing.

I have been in a searching season. Decisions need to be made. Steps need to be taken...or not. I have sat staring at the ocean, praying for answers. I have stared into the night sky for hours, asking the LORD to make His ways known. I have read my Bible in the quiet of the mornings, hoping to gain understanding.

Step-by-step instructions would've been nice, but they haven't come. In fact, God has been largely silent but for this one thing that He seems to be declaring with a megaphone:

Just do the next right thing. Do the next obedient thing.

And so I'm really evaluating how I'm ALREADY doing with what God has ALREADY placed in my path. I'm coming up short, I tell you. I'm coming face to face with my failures. I need to be more faithful with the very step I'm on. And the next step. And the one after that.

I need to be a better wife. I need to be a better mom. Yes, I'm a good wife and a good mom. But they could have more of me. They could have more of my focus. They could have my attention in undivided form.

That's the next right thing. That's the next obedient thing. Being more mentally present during the kids' bedtime routines, even when I'm suffering from end-of-the-day burnout. Taking time to be still--together. Getting the clean laundry off our dining room table and into drawers. Carving out time with Justin. Streamlining the way I pack my son's lunch to make our mornings more peaceful.

None of those things seem all that spectacular. But they are the next right things. They are the next obedient things. They are the "Whatever you do, do it with all your heart as though you were working for the LORD" things. They are the next immediate, where-the-rubber-meets-the-road things I need to be doing.

And it's more than that. Doing the next obedient thing often means OBEYING the commands that we already know from Scripture.

Like praying for my enemies.
Tithing.
Choosing to forgive.
Encouraging someone.
Confessing sin.
Keeping my words pure.
Hiding God's Word in my heart.
Being honest.
Trusting God. Really trusting Him.

Yes, there are still big-picture decisions that need to be made, still steps that either need to be taken, or not.

But first come the steps I already know I'm supposed to be taking.

He has shown you what is good
and what the LORD requires of you:
To do justly
and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8

* What are YOUR next right things?

ANNOUNCING "COLLIDE"

I am really excited to share "Collide" with you! This is the new name for this blog. I still have a passion to speak His truth, of course. :) But I love how His truth collides with our day-to-day lives.

Many thanks to the wonderful Amanda over at Royal Daughter Designs for sharing her creativity and gift of design!

JUSTICE FOR YOU, GRACE FOR ME

Twice today I had the right-of-way out on the road, only to have the other driver go ahead, cut me off, and go speeding off down the road. Twice!

It's not like I laid on the horn in anger or expressed my frustration with interesting hand gestures or anything like that. But I did kind of hope that a cop would be waiting to catch each one of them speeding. Ah, what a little slice of Vindication Pie that would be...

But a few months ago when I got pulled over for speeding, I wanted grace more than anything. And I didn't get it. Unless the word "grace" also means "A big fat traffic violation fine."

What is it in me--maybe in you, too--that wants justice for others but grace for myself? The thing is, I'm not usually like some Pharisee who looks with disdain on the broken or loves to see the guilty squirm. For all my faults, God has allowed me to see others with mercy. But rather than hoping that a couple of selfish drivers get their due while I skate by unpunished, why not pray for the justice and grace of God to prevail as He sees best? Sometimes that means justice for you and grace for me. And sometimes it's the other way around.

LORD, Your way is perfect. Work on my heart so that rather than wanting consequence for others and grace for myself, I'll love Your flawless justice and Your lavish grace, always administered according to Your perfect purposes. You have been so loving to discipline me when it's been necessary, but You have also shown me grace I couldn't even begin to deserve.

And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages He might show the incomparable riches of His grace, expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved through faith--and this is not of yourselves, it is a gift of God--not by works, so that no man can boast.
Ephesians 2:6-9

THE "SOMETIMES" RABBIT OWNER

I am the proud new owner of a rabbit named Monty.

Well, I'm sometimes his owner, anyway.

This adorable, fuzzy guy spends Monday through Friday hanging out in Justin's classroom as one of his many class pets. Then on the weekends, Monty comes home and stays with us.

So I spend my weekends as a rabbit owner, but there's nothing about my Monday through Friday that indicates I own a rabbit on the weekends.

Once Monday rolls around, there's no cage, no big bag of rabbit food, no floppy-eared critter hopping around our living room. No evidence of what took place over the weekend. You could walk into my house on Wednesday afternoon and have no clue a rabbit was ever there, unless I happen to miss one of his special little "rabbit presents" as I'm cleaning up!

Sometimes I think we can compartmentalize our faith and worship in a similar way. We can raise our hands and feel a lot of compelling emotions as we sing in church, we can feel challenged and encouraged as the pastor delivers his message. We might live one way on a Sunday morning...

...but our Monday through Friday holds little evidence to what took place over the weekend.

It's tough to live a life of authentic worship every day. A typical Monday through Friday demands a lot! And on top of that, attempts to distract, disarm and destroy us are constantly coming at us. No wonder it's a challenge to walk out of the sanctuary on Sunday morning where worship is not just allowed to happen, but it what's supposed to happen--and head into a world that is ambivalent to our lifestyle of worship.

Jon Acuff writes of this in his legendary "Booty, God, Booty" post on Stuff Christians Like. He used to listen to a rap/R&B station on the radio that had something called an "Inspirational Vitamin" each day, which was basically a Bible verse or a gospel song sandwiched between two songs about hot women and gettin' your drink on. He called this the "Booty, God, Booty" formula, and tied this into how we live. And it's true--sometimes we try to wedge a little bit of Jesus in between our other completely-unrelated activities of our day-to-day lives.

But our rest-of-the-week is supposed to match our Sunday. If I am moved by the love and grace of Christ on Sunday morning, then you should be able to tell that if you run into me on a Tuesday afternoon. Even if I'm standing in the checkout line behind the "extreme couponer" with 78 coupons who is trying to get $400 dollars worth of cereal for 34 cents.

And if you are moved toward selflessness as you sit in a church pew, there should be some evidence of that when your Friday night rolls around. Even if you don't get your way. Even if you're worn out. And sometimes even if your husband suggests seeing the latest Transformers movie when you'd rather pluck your eyes out. Don't know where I might've come up with that last one.

We can't compartmentalize our love for Jesus--It is supposed to spill over into every area, every crack and crevice of our lives. Sure, I can be a "sometimes" rabbit owner. But there's no room for me to be a "sometimes" follower of Christ.

What is the area in which you most battle being a "sometimes" follower of Christ?