Here Again

I've been here before. Like when Justin and I first said to each other, "You're the one." Like when I saw positive pregnancy tests for my kids.

When I say "here" I mean that place of a hope being fulfilled. A dream becoming a reality. A vision coming to pass. And a wait ending.

It was back in 1996 when the Lord first spoke into my life about communicating His truth. A woman told me she thought the Lord had weighted my words, so to speak, that my words would be used to bring about healing in peoples' lives.

I won't lie, I kind of thought she was crazy.

Then nothing more until summer of 1999, when at the end of one of the very toughest days of my life, I was asked to speak at the Mount Hermon End of Summer banquet. And God seemed to use the words He'd given me to say...

...But then more waiting. More silence. More "What is this about, Lord?"

Then two writers' conferences, both with great promise. At the first, I was asked to write an article for a Christianity Today publication, but that ended up getting scrapped a few months after I returned home. At the second, Bethany House wanted a book proposal from me, and an agent wanted some of my work to review. In the end, even though both were very complimentary of the work I'd sent in, both said it came down to one thing: "Nobody knows you." I had my foot in the door twice, and then lost it without really feeling I could have done anything differently to prevent it.

So, more waiting. More silence. More "What is this about, Lord?"

Fast forward to March 9, 2009. I had lunch with a really remarkable woman--a visionary, for sure. And in the months since then, opportunities have begun to unfold. Opportunities I never could have imagined...

...and you know what was funny? That very day I had a very important quiet time. I was going through Beth Moore's "Believing God" and read about how many people didn't "GET" Noah's calling. Made me think of how people assume I'm supposed to do this, that, or the other thing career-wise, because that's what seems to work on paper. Noah building the ark for years before the rain came--that didn't exactly "work on paper," but it was the calling on his life. I also read of Joshua's army who walked around Jericho--SILENT--for 6 days. And walking around a city looking like a bunch of crazies didn't exactly "work on paper" either. But it was what the Lord had established for Joshua. But on the 7th day, it was time to open his mouth and shout.

I've understood years of silence--long stretches of "It's not time to open your mouth yet." But there was something about that morning--and then all that came out of that day that just seemed to say, "You're starting the seventh lap. Get ready to open your mouth."

I was recently just sitting silent as I listened to some of the opportunities that I just might get to be a part of in the time to come. I had no words. I just sat motionless, wordless as tears streamed down my cheeks...

...for I am in that place once again. And when I say "here," I mean that place of a hope being fulfilled. A dream becoming a reality. A vision coming to pass. And a wait ending.

Thank you, Lord.