Khloe Kardashian-Odom was interviewed about how she and her husband have had to fight for their marriage in the limelight. And then she said something that, unfortunately, doesn't get said often in Hollywood:
"Divorce is not an option."
Well said. And I actually think it MUST be this way--which is why Justin and I have completely omitted this one word from the vocabulary of our marriage:
DIVORCE.
It just does not get said. Not in reference to us, anyway. Not even on the toughest days. I've been a selfish, stupid idiot at times but not even in my most selfish seasons did he utter it. Not even on our worst days have I threatened it. We've been together for 12 years and we've never even mentioned the possibility of "us" not being "us."
It's not something that has ever been on the table. I'm broken over the fact that, in a lot of marriages, it's a word that just sort of gets dangled out there. Perhaps to try and inspire change in the other. Perhaps as a threat. Perhaps because people have already begun to think about a Plan B.
Is divorce on the table for you? Please--and I pray this comes across with the love in which it's intended--Get it off. Like, right now. Has the possibility of a split been thrown out there? Let me plead with you to make a fresh commitment with your spouse to remove that option from your marriage. Stop using the word. No more making a back-up plan. When we even begin to think along the lines of a Plan B scenario, it erodes our Plan A. It eats away at a marriage. The moment it even appears that that option exists, it's too easy to end up going that route eventually.
My own parents' divorce became final just 2 days before Christmas my Kindergarten year. It has always been something I NEVER wanted to personally experience. Banning the word "divorce" from our conversations was just one of those proactive decisions made on the front-end in the name of protecting our marriage.
We have no plans to be anywhere else. I am his Plan A. He is mine.
There is no Plan B.
LORD Jesus, please guard our marriages with love and diligence. I pray specifically for anyone who may be in need of Your healing over their marriage. Remind Your child today that against all hope it's still fitting to believe You can restore even the most broken of things.
I knew i liked that girl. Go Khloe! I.love.this.post. Because it so reflects my heart and feelings towards my own marriage. My husband came from a family that sadly went through divorce (a month after our first son was born :( ) and I think there were a couple times after an argument, he uttered the word. I dissolved in deep tears and told him to never ever say it again. Because it's not something I would ever consider. It puts such a bad focus on the marriage. Like it IS a plan B when it never should be. Like oh if this doesn't work out we can just get a divorce. No! I hate that! We might have hard days and might have moments of utter selfishness and later it is painful to look back on but it but it would be so much worse to live with a mindset of being done being together and done being his soulmate. We're together for good. Not having it as a plan B means you can't just resort to that plan. You have to actually work through things. Such good thoughts. Thank you for posting!
ReplyDeleteGreat message.. It's so sad that in our society divorce is basically the back up plan to every marriage. Even in Christian marriages (even in my OWN marriage) we have considered "the D word." Divorce is a sad, ugly, awful thing.
ReplyDeleteamen! not. an. option.
ReplyDelete"remain in christ" is our only option. God help us.