WAS IT BETTER WHEN I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER?

My Christmas present from my husband this year was a new floor.*
*A much-needed new floor.  The years had not been kind to the carpet that used to be there. 

We had left home a month prior with a dingy, threadbare carpet that was literally coming apart at the seams, and returned to something that shines like the top of the Chrysler building.  Cue the Hallelujah Chorus, y'all.  It really is fabulous.

One thing I've noticed, though, is that if there is even the tiniest speck of dirt on this gleaming, glorious floor, I can see it.  You can see it.  Your half-blind Great Aunt Edna can see it.  The floor shows everything.

Was there less dirt when we had a carpet?  Or was it just that we couldn't as easily see it?  How much was there that we didn't even know to try and remove?

Was it better when I couldn't see every blade of grass that hitchhiked in on someone's shoe, every stray crumb or dust bunny?  Was it better when I didn't know better?

No.  Because when it's visible to me, I can do something about getting rid of it.  And then it's clean.  Like, actually, really clean. 

Scripture is like that.  Yes, it guides and gives strength.  But it also shines a big ol' light on what needs our attention.

So it is better when we don't know better?  Is it somehow preferable to remain in that place where I'm unaware of my prideful ways and words?  Is it better if I'm not mindful of my worry, my laziness, or the prone-to-wander state of my soul?

The Word of God gets up in my business.  While Jesus knows all along what's in my heart, it becomes clearly visible to me when I allow Scripture to lay bare all that is truly going on within me. 

I want Matthew 8 and 14 to expose the "You of little faith" parts of my soul, reveal my needless worry, and remind me of my ever-so-worthy-of-my-trust Savior.

I need Proverbs 10 and 12 and 15 and 16 (okay, like all of Proverbs) to expose the weight of my words.  And if there are words that shouldn't be there, I want them flushed out from within and replaced with words flowing from a right heart.

I want 1 Kings 18 to prick my heart about ways in which I am trusting something else--anything else--for my help and salvation.  If anything but Jesus is on the throne for me, I want to know, so it can go. 

I truly want truth to transform me, and expose anything at all that requires my response.   

No, it wasn't better when I didn't know better.     

I want the floor that shows more.

Search me, God, and know my heart,

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:23-24