This week I have broken 3 things--a coffee mug, a juice glass, and a bowl. Normally I can go months, even years without breaking stuff. Not this week.
I grew accustomed to the sound of breaking glass while working in the dining hall & kitchen at Mount Hermon Conference Center back in '99. Seemed things were always getting dropped and broken. Finally, my friend Skye said, "I think we're supposed to pray for brokenness."
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise (Psalm 51:17). And in the Hebrew, the word broken means
So when I broke that juice glass yesterday--the third time this week that I've had to gather up the jagged pieces--Skye's words came to me again and I thought, "It's time to pray for brokenness."
I don't grieve my sin the way that I should. I can easily downplay it in my mind since my rap sheet isn't as long as the next guy's. But my sin grieves the heart of my God, so it should break my heart as well. The selfishness, the pride, the lack of self-discipline and self-control, and the constant battle in my heart to surrender to a God whose ways are not my own (and thank goodness for that)--even one of these offenses created a cavernous void between my God and me, and had Christ not come in on my behalf to die for those sins, they would separate me from Him eternally. A precious price was paid on my behalf, and it had to be paid because of my sin. My rebellion. My "wanna go my own way."
Lord, you do not reject or despise the one whose heart breaks over sin. Instead, You come to put the shattered pieces back together. You are all about binding up the brokenhearted. Thank You for forgiving my sins--I can get so self-righteous and don't thank You nearly enough for doing what I really, desperately needed You to do on my behalf.