I AM IN DESPERATE NEED

I need the LORD. I mean, desperately. I get that there is no hope for me apart from Him.

I need the LORD right now--today. I need His strength to seek His face. To love my husband and children. To be self-controlled and pure. To be busy at home. To not lose my cool. To keep going. To not wreck my life. To use my talents. To believe who I am in Him. To love others. To be in His Word. To look to Him for my worth rather than clamoring for the acceptance of man. To stand up under lies and rejection. To overcome. To trust that He is making a way in the desert where I don't see it. To be confident in His provision and timing. And I need His forgiveness, for I have come up short more times than I can bear.

I've been unloving, unjoyful, unpeaceful, impatient, unkind, ungood, unfaithful, ungentle, and un-self-controlled. I NEED the LORD. I need the work of His Holy Spirit in me. I need Him to help me be the woman He wants me to be, because apart from Him I am a lost cause, and would be worthy of being written off.

BUT GOD.

If ever there was a song that captured my story and spoke to my need (and His beautiful response to it), it's this one:

If the truth was known and a light was shown
on every hidden part of my soul,
most would turn away, shake their heads and say
"She still has such a long way to go."
If the truth was known you'd see
that the only good in me
is Jesus.

If the walls could speak of the times I've been weak
when everybody thought I was strong,
Could I show my face if it weren't for the grace
of the One who's known the truth all along?
If the walls could speak, they'd say
that my only hope is the grace of Jesus--
The grace of Jesus.

And oh, the goodness and the grace in Him,
He takes it all and makes it mine,
and He causes His light in me to shine
and HE LOVES ME
with a love that never ends
Just as I am, not as I do,
Could this be real, could this be true?
This could only be a MIRACLE
This could only be the miracle of mercy.

MIRACLE OF MERCY * Steven Curtis Chapman

* To listen, Click HERE. One of my lifesongs,
and it still moves me to tears.