Tuesday, November 23, 2010

WHAT MADE MY "THANKS" LIST THIS YEAR

There's something new on my "Thanks" list this year. It keeps coming to mind as I've thought toward Thanksgiving and have considered the people and things for which I'm thankful.

I'm grateful for different seasons of life.

Sometimes I'm loving the season I'm in, and I'm thankful. And sometimes I'm thankful because it's just a season, and will give way to a different one.

In this season of my life I'm home with my two children. Extremely grateful for this. I love getting to ease into the day with my two sleepy-eyed little ones, talk over a leisurely breakfast, take them to storytime, and have carpet picnics in the house on rainy days. But with that has come two significant challenges--desperately needing guidance as I raise my children to know and love God (and feeling like I fall short), and the loss of income tied in with it. And while I'm falling at His feet for the strength and grace to get through these challenges, I am grateful to know it won't always be this way. But then again, I don't want to wish away the challenges of this season. This time next year, my son will be in Kindergarten full time, and life will look different. Some challenges will be alleviated, but I anticipate an ache in my heart over the loss of time with my boy. It will simply be a different season. Good-different, and gut-wrenching-different.

Last year this time, I was entering a season of plenty with opportunities to speak--and this "plenty" came after a multi-year drought. This week last year, I received my first invitation to speak at a church, and I was elated. Then it continued. This summer felt like a monsoon of opportunity, and it was awesome to finally feel that these words the Lord had spent years pressing into my heart were finally coming out. And yet within days of my last speaking event this summer, I journaled what was stirring in my heart--a preparation for another drought I sensed was coming. It was as though He prepared me for a stretch of--once again--not speaking. A deadline just passed for the churches in our area to book an event speaker, and no one from our team was booked. So now this is a season of being still, and simply being obedient to prepare as He leads me to do so. I'll be honest, the monsoon season was much more fun than the drought, but there's been no lack of peace. He has been lavish and gracious in giving peace in this dry season. I think knowing it was coming helped, and He was gracious to give me a bit of a "heads up" in my heart--and I think it helps knowing that, by His grace, another season will come. No worries in a season of drought.

This is a penny-pinching season. My work load has diminished, and it has brought strain for us. I hate being in a time of financial drought. Hate it! But it's not without worth--the invaluable worth of waiting on the LORD for provision, for seeing Him faithfully make a way time and time again. It won't always be this way (Hallelujah!)-- We can see the light at the end of the tunnel, even though the tunnel is dark. But while we're in it, I am peaceful--and so grateful for the way we've seen the LORD hold us up in it. No worries in a season of drought.

And God has been revealing for a few months--though way more obviously in the last week and a half--that the women's ministry in which I have been serving is to take a back-burner to my family. I have taken one season of study off from facilitating, and it was a decision that brought first a flood of tears, and then a flood of peace and assurance that the decision was the right one. And fruit will still surely result.

And I'm grateful for everything else in this season--like my husband of nine years. I love being "nine years married" to him. It means knowing well and being well known. It means laughing over inside jokes and anticipating what the other will say and do, and delighting in the trust we've built and are building. And I love having a son who is old enough to have some really awesome, really funny, really real conversations about faith and life. I love that in this season, he's not too old to hold my hand or kiss me goodbye in front of his friends. And I love having a little peanut of a little girl who is bursting at the seams with joy and dance and song and radiance, and whose tiny little voice cracks me up no matter what she says. I'm thankful for a season of health for family and friends. I'm thankful for our home--I never want to leave this place--including the living room where we have Family Movie Night or the bedrooms where I'm rocked my babies to sleep, or even the bathroom where I saw a plus sign on the pregnancy tests for all three of my children. I'm thankful for our friends, and that even if the LORD brought us here semi-"kicking-and-screaming" eight years ago, we were meant to do life with these people in this season.

And I'm thankful for the WORD of GOD. It is my food. And through whatever season I've been in, am in, or will be in, His Word is constant.

BLESSED is he whose delight is in the law of the LORD, who meditates on His law day and night. That person will be like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither--everything he does prospers.

Psalm 1:2-3

BLESSED is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in Him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.

Jeremiah 17:7-8

* For more musings on giving thanks, visit Rachel Olsen's Thanksgiving post and visit some of the links!

7 comments:

  1. Thea, I love your blog you have some wonderful things to say. I too am in a kind of a stinky season, but I remind myself that it is only season, thank you for the reminder that these time are not wasted even when they seem to us that they are, but rather they are times of being prepared. Blessings to you and your family this Thanksgiving.

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  2. Beautiful. Just plain beautiful.

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  3. Thank you for sharing your heart. I can relate to so much of what you wrote. We, too, are in a season of lessons learned and wating on God's provision. And we are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel :) Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!

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  4. "look back, hope forward." seems to be what God keeps placing on my heart as i think of all the changing seasons. he lovingly tells me to "look back, hope forward."

    you are an inspiration friend.

    happy thanksgiving!

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  5. Not a season for speaking, perhaps, but a season for writing? I'm still waiting for your devotional book for moms. =)

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  6. Although the seasons of life continue to change, I'm so thankful our God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Great post!

    Sweet Blessings,
    Pam

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  7. I can't add much to what you said or what the other folks who commented. Thank you for sharing your heart here. Beautiful.

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